JBurque Posted February 28, 2004 Share Posted February 28, 2004 *A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil. "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. You did WHAT ? ! ?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move." *A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later....."Da-ad...." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?" "No, You had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??" I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!" Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....." "WHAT!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?" *An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'" *A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a b itch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a b itch is nine...." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a b itch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four." *One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy S hit! A talking chicken!'" *A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?" *A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie." She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heckeroo Posted February 28, 2004 Share Posted February 28, 2004 are these true? they're funny, either way Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JBurque Posted February 28, 2004 Author Share Posted February 28, 2004 sure, why not Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nc marlin Posted February 28, 2004 Share Posted February 28, 2004 :lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beinfest4Prez Posted February 28, 2004 Share Posted February 28, 2004 :lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hot4beckett Posted February 29, 2004 Share Posted February 29, 2004 Too cute. True. Kids say the darnest things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miami15 Posted February 29, 2004 Share Posted February 29, 2004 *One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy S hit! A talking chicken!'" LMAO! :lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beinfest4Prez Posted February 29, 2004 Share Posted February 29, 2004 Too cute. True. Kids say the darnest things. No pun intended? :blink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marlins Posted February 29, 2004 Share Posted February 29, 2004 lol-ha ha Very Funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebirth Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 :lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin Posted March 2, 2004 Share Posted March 2, 2004 This is what happens when people like MaXx are teaching our future generations... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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