March 26, 200422 yr Q. How are men and parking spots alike? A. The good ones are always taken and the ones that are left are handicap. Q. How can you tell a man is sexually excited? A. He's breathing. Q. How can you tell soap operas are fictional? A. In real life, men out of bed aren't that affectionate. Q. How do men exercise at the beach? A. By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini. Q. How does a man show he's planning for the future? A. He buys two cases of beer instead of one. Q. How is being at a singles bar different than going to the circus? A. At the circus the clowns don't talk. Q. How many men does it take to pop popcorn? A. Three. One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove. Q. How many men does it take to replace a roll of toilet paper? A. No one knows. It's never been done. Q. How was Colonel Sanders a typical male? A. All he cared about were breasts, legs and thighs. Q. Men will brag that there are women waiting by the phone at this very moment for their call. Who are these women? A. Women working at 900 numbers. Q. What did god say after creating man? A. I can do better. Q. What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common? A. Men always miss them. Q. What do gophers and men have in common? A. They both need to find the right hole. Q. What do men and apes have in common? A. Everything Q. What do men and beer bottles have in common? A. Their both empty from the neck up! Q. What do you call a handcuffed man? A. Trustworthy. Q. What is a man's idea of foreplay? A. A half hour of begging. Q. What is a man's idea of helping with the housework? A. Lifting his legs for you can vacuum. Q. What is the difference between a bar and a clitoris? A. Most men have no trouble finding a bar. Q. What is the difference between a man and a catfish? A. One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker and the other is a fish. Q. What is the difference between a man and a government bond? A. Bond's mature. Q. What is the difference between a porcupine and a corvette? A. A porcupine has pricks on the outside. Q. What is the thinnest book in the world? A. What men know about women. Q. What should you give a man who has everything? A. A woman to show him how to work it. Q. Why are blonde jokes so short? A. They're easier for men to remember. Q. Why are men like laxatives? A. Because they both annoy the s*** out of you. Q. Why are men like popcorn? A. They satisfy you, but only for a little while. Q. Why are men like public toilets? A. The good ones are taken and the others are full of s***. Q. Why do men chase women they have no intention of getting? A. The same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention in driving. Q. Why do men have a hole at the end of their penis? A. For they can think with an open mind. Q. Why do men like love at first sight? A. Because it saves them a lot of time. Q. Why do women get married? A. Because they can't get their dildos to mow the lawn. Q. Why is it good that there are women astronauts? A. So that when the crew gets lost in space, at least the women will ask for directions. Q. Why is it hard for a woman to find a man who's sensitive, caring and good-looking? A. Because those men already have boyfriends.
March 27, 200422 yr AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm a man, they're all true! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Don't male-hate... Appreciate.
March 27, 200422 yr You know, if it wasn't for males you wouldn't have Hall and Oates OR the KFC Colonel, arguably three of the greatest men to ever walk the face of da' earf. Keep it real ladies.
March 27, 200422 yr If it wasn't for males - we also wouldn't have Bush, Bin Laden, and Hitler Keep it real Woodworth
March 27, 200422 yr If it wasn't for males - we also wouldn't have Bush, Bin Laden, and Hitler Keep it real Woodworth A female still had to give birth to them. And plus, any evil made by the men you named is immediately canceled out by the good brought from the men I named. Believe it! Check, AND MATE!
March 27, 200422 yr It's not the woman's fault they gave birth to idiots and then took the mens genes.
March 27, 200422 yr LOL,alot are not true,plus a woman without a man is nothing,and a man without a woman is nothing imo,i love girl's...
March 28, 200422 yr I gotta admit some are funny Q. How was Colonel Sanders a typical male? A. All he cared about were breasts, legs and thighs. :pimp
March 28, 200422 yr that toilet paper one is bulls***. i share my bathroom with my sister... im the one that changes it. God forbid she does it once in a while.
March 28, 200422 yr I lived with two girls for a year and a half and let me tell you something... Women are downright nastier than men. Period.
March 28, 200422 yr I lived with two girls for a year and a half and let me tell you something... Women are downright nastier than men. Period. What did they do?
March 28, 200422 yr LOL,alot are not true,plus a woman without a man is nothing,and a man without a woman is nothing imo,i love girl's... This is the deepest thought in the history of this board. I have no comment on the original post, too ignorant for my blood.
March 28, 200422 yr It's not the woman's fault they gave birth to idiots and then took the mens genes. Are you calling me an idiot?
March 28, 200422 yr Author LOL,alot are not true,plus a woman without a man is nothing,and a man without a woman is nothing imo,i love girl's... This is the deepest thought in the history of this board. I have no comment on the original post, too ignorant for my blood. :blink: Is it me... or you just called me ignorant??? :crying I was just joking... and disrespect is all I get... Is all good...
March 28, 200422 yr I called the jokes ignorant. If you wish to interpret that as meaning you are as well, you are free to come to that conclusion.
March 28, 200422 yr It's not the woman's fault they gave birth to idiots and then took the mens genes. Are you calling me an idiot? No
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