MVPosey Posted April 6, 2004 Share Posted April 6, 2004 Why did they cancel the OSU Christmas party? They could not find three wise men or a virgin. How many osu freshmen does it take to change a light bulb? Zero, it is a senior course. What are the toughest 6 years in an osu student's life? 3rd grade. What do you get when you drive slow through Columbus? A degree from O.S.U. 10. Philosophy: Why Don't They Spell It with an "F"? 9. Pre-law Seminar: Age of Consent in 50 States 8. Sandwich Making: A Project Course 7. Hand-Shadow Workshop 6. Subtraction: Addition's Tricky Friend 5. Cliff's Notes vs. Monarch Notes: 2 Views of the Classics 4. Hydraulic Principles of the Keg 3. The College Classroom: A Simulation 2. The ABC's: An Extended Version 1. Your Ass from a Hole in the Ground: A Comparative Study After a long wait, two Ohio State graduates finally get jobs at a sawmill. It was their first day on the job. Suddenly one screams "OOUUUCCHHHH!!! I lost my finger!" The other glances over, "Oh yeah, how did you do that?" "Well, I was just trying to touch this big spinning wheel like thi..Damn! There goes another one!!" I heard that Ohio State's Head Football Coach was only dressing twenty players for the upcoming battle against Michigan. He said the rest can dress themselves. Q: How many Ohio State students does it take to change a tire? A: Only one, but he gets four hours credit and it counts as a lab science. Q: What do you get when you cross an Ohio State fan with a pig? A: Trick question, there are some things a pig just wont do. Q: Why do Ohio State graduates hang their diplomas from their rear view mirror? A: To justify their handicap parking. A Michigan student and an Ohio State student are both using the men's room. When they finish their business, the Michigan student heads for the door, while the Ohio State student heads for the sink. The Ohio dude calls to the Wolverine, "At Ohio State, they teach us to wash our hands after going to the bathroom." The Michigan guy replies, "At Michigan, they teach us not to pee on our hands." Q: Why doesn't Ohio State have ice on their sidelines during games? A: The guy with the recipe graduated. Q: What do an Ohio State student and a Michigan student have in common? A: They both got accepted at Ohio State. An Ohio State grad sees an ad for a $99 cruise. So he goes down to the travel agent and hands over the cash. The travel agent hits him over the head with a bat, stuffs him in a sack, throws him out the back window onto a raft and cuts the raft loose. The Ohio State grad wakes up to find himself adrift, along with another Ohio State grad. The first grad says, "I hope they serve dinner on this cruise." The second replies, "They didn't last year." Q: What does the average Ohio State football player get on his S.A.T.'s? A: Drool. Q: How do you get an Ohio State grad off your porch? A: Pay for the pizzas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugg Posted April 7, 2004 Share Posted April 7, 2004 AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HILARIOUS! Those jokes are SO original. I've NEVER seen the exact same ones with other schools inserted instead. EVER Win a National Championship this century and then call me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramp Posted April 7, 2004 Share Posted April 7, 2004 Oh I will Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Special K Posted April 7, 2004 Share Posted April 7, 2004 Why did they cancel the OSU Christmas party? They could not find three wise men or a virgin. How many osu freshmen does it take to change a light bulb? Zero, it is a senior course. What are the toughest 6 years in an osu student's life? 3rd grade. What do you get when you drive slow through Columbus? A degree from O.S.U. 10. Philosophy: Why Don't They Spell It with an "F"? 9. Pre-law Seminar: Age of Consent in 50 States 8. Sandwich Making: A Project Course 7. Hand-Shadow Workshop 6. Subtraction: Addition's Tricky Friend 5. Cliff's Notes vs. Monarch Notes: 2 Views of the Classics 4. Hydraulic Principles of the Keg 3. The College Classroom: A Simulation 2. The ABC's: An Extended Version 1. Your Ass from a Hole in the Ground: A Comparative Study After a long wait, two Ohio State graduates finally get jobs at a sawmill. It was their first day on the job. Suddenly one screams "OOUUUCCHHHH!!! I lost my finger!" The other glances over, "Oh yeah, how did you do that?" "Well, I was just trying to touch this big spinning wheel like thi..Damn! There goes another one!!" I heard that Ohio State's Head Football Coach was only dressing twenty players for the upcoming battle against Michigan. He said the rest can dress themselves. Q: How many Ohio State students does it take to change a tire? A: Only one, but he gets four hours credit and it counts as a lab science. Q: What do you get when you cross an Ohio State fan with a pig? A: Trick question, there are some things a pig just wont do. Q: Why do Ohio State graduates hang their diplomas from their rear view mirror? A: To justify their handicap parking. A Michigan student and an Ohio State student are both using the men's room. When they finish their business, the Michigan student heads for the door, while the Ohio State student heads for the sink. The Ohio dude calls to the Wolverine, "At Ohio State, they teach us to wash our hands after going to the bathroom." The Michigan guy replies, "At Michigan, they teach us not to pee on our hands." Q: Why doesn't Ohio State have ice on their sidelines during games? A: The guy with the recipe graduated. Q: What do an Ohio State student and a Michigan student have in common? A: They both got accepted at Ohio State. An Ohio State grad sees an ad for a $99 cruise. So he goes down to the travel agent and hands over the cash. The travel agent hits him over the head with a bat, stuffs him in a sack, throws him out the back window onto a raft and cuts the raft loose. The Ohio State grad wakes up to find himself adrift, along with another Ohio State grad. The first grad says, "I hope they serve dinner on this cruise." The second replies, "They didn't last year." Q: What does the average Ohio State football player get on his S.A.T.'s? A: Drool. Q: How do you get an Ohio State grad off your porch? A: Pay for the pizzas. Do they teach you to call timeout at Michigan when you have none left? I guess they did. Cause Chris Webber sure did it. I guess that class was AFTER Bribes And Payoffs 101 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugg Posted April 7, 2004 Share Posted April 7, 2004 He's a Cal fan in basketball, so that will have no effect. But then again Michigan's going to be good next year, so I guess maybe he'll like them now too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Special K Posted April 7, 2004 Share Posted April 7, 2004 He's a Cal fan in basketball, so that will have no effect. But then again Michigan's going to be good next year, so I guess maybe he'll like them now too. Ah, gotta love those fair weather fans. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Special K Posted April 7, 2004 Share Posted April 7, 2004 Hey dood, my favorite teamz are the Lakerz, Yankees, Red Wingz, and Patriots! In college FBall I like Michigan, Miami, FSU, and whoever else manages to get ranked # 1! Same for all college sportz! (sighs) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buckeye Posted April 7, 2004 Share Posted April 7, 2004 You guys ready for some jokes? Q: How do you know if you're awesome and go to Ohio State? A: You're THIS GUY: That being said, I now formally end this discussion with treatise on JOKES. Here we go... (clears throat) JOKES! You got 'em, SUCKA! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Special K Posted April 7, 2004 Share Posted April 7, 2004 You guys ready for some jokes? Q: How do you know if you're awesome and go to Ohio State? A: You're THIS GUY: That being said, I now formally end this discussion with treatise on JOKES. Here we go... (clears throat) JOKES! You got 'em, SUCKA! Nice Brian. Tight ID man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MVPosey Posted April 7, 2004 Author Share Posted April 7, 2004 He's a Cal fan in basketball, so that will have no effect. But then again Michigan's going to be good next year, so I guess maybe he'll like them now too. I'm a Cal fan and Michigan fan in both sports, but in football i follow Michigan more and in basketball I follow Cal more and btw, Michigan was better this year than Cal, but they'll both be in the final four in 2005-2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Special K Posted April 7, 2004 Share Posted April 7, 2004 He's a Cal fan in basketball, so that will have no effect. But then again Michigan's going to be good next year, so I guess maybe he'll like them now too. I'm a Cal fan and Michigan fan in both sports, but in football i follow Michigan more and in basketball I follow Cal more and btw, Michigan was better this year than Cal, but they'll both be in the final four in 2005-2006 You gonna pass that stuff you're smoking? Or just sit there and kill it all yourself? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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