I don't need to be lyrically skilled or spiritually filled to tell you what I feel/

I wanna express my fears and tears/

now I know the end ain't near/

but that's because we stuck in a never ending maze/

people losing their ways/

always being fazed/

by people who don't care/

the strong in a state of despair/

women and children getting scared/

my soul is being bared

but I ain't there/

in that state of mind/

where we always feel like we in a bind/

believing these are the mountains we can't climb/

that's why we always on tha grind trying to find the ways/

that brought us where we are today/

now I'm not 50 Cent trying to sing s*** like "Jus a lil bit"/

I'm trying to be unique/

bringing up matters that seem to be oblique/

to the people that seek it the least/

this song ain't about bitches and hoes/

it's about our misses and lows/

our enemies and foes/

people always standing on their tippity toes/

looking for somewhere to go/

but I'm trying to make them know/

the problems we face originate within our own homes/

with tha media putting non-stop news of evil in our children's eyes/

and we don't realize/

that the things they see could change their lives/

as they see other children cry and people die/

but I ain't gonna live a lie/

I'll be living my life/

straightening up and flying right.

 

Now my song isn't done yet, I'm still deciding on the beat and making another verse. Just wanted to know what others thought.

Don't fued with 50 right off the bat. Mentioning that guy in a song is ALWAYS grounds for getting shot.

Don't fued with 50 right off the bat. Mentioning that guy in a song is ALWAYS grounds for getting shot.

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:lol

Real weak. Weak flow, weak lyrics. It'd likely be destroyed at a lyrical site.

The tippity-toe comment was unnecessary.

A hip hop site I go to said the flow is average, the multis are good, and its good writing, I just have to learn to make the lines mix together.

i actually dig this. i like the content alot. doesnt flow as good as it should but then again im no MC either. im just judging this on the fact i listen to good hiphop LOL.

 

i disagree with using 50 cent's name in your spit. it can be quite effective if used correctly. ill use my man Masta Ace as a great example...

 

And the day that your album go on sale for the first hour

Just remember like Nas n***a, +I Gave You Power+

I figured I give ya some help, cause you need lots

I make your producer change his name to Speed Nottz

Tell him I say "f*** him!" for doing the tracks

Matter of fact, f*** Fat Beats, for doing the wax

I'ma diss you via e-mail and then through a fax

I'ma diss you by two-way, I ain't gon' never relax

I'ma diss you over fast, slow track or no track

If your s*** wasn't so wack, I dissed you to yo' track

You that little fish that I catch and I throw back

And by the way, give 50 Cent his flow back

You that cat in the club that get hit with a bottle

f***in' with me? You better off trying to hit lotto

And don't answer back, this is hard s*** to follow

And you can't spit n***a, so you obviously must swollow, motherf***er..

 

PURE FIRE!

That's Ace?! What song? I haven't listened to his whole collection.

That's Ace?! What song? I haven't listened to his whole collection.

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thats Acknowledge from the album Disposable Arts :thumbup

I've only listened to A Long Hot Summer, Sittin' On Chrome, and 2 mixtapes, I want D.A. so bad.

I've only listened to A Long Hot Summer, Sittin' On Chrome, and 2 mixtapes, I want D.A. so bad.

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in my opinion its his best album to date

Out of curiousity, what sites do you recommend if you want input on lyrics and stuff like that?

I went to OS hideout boards but there's not many people there, the best place I know of would be the IGN hip hop boards.

Out of curiousity, what sites do you recommend if you want input on lyrics and stuff like that?

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www.writerzblock.com