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Things the Police want citizens to know


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Things Police Would Like You to Know

 

Your 5 year old kid getting pushed down by another 5 year old kid is NOT a police matter; talk to the other kid's parents, not the police.

 

If your kid won't do his homework or do his chores, 911 is not the answer.

 

If a cop causes a car accident we usually get a ticket, and sometimes we get suspended. When is the last time you got 3 days off (without pay) for rear-ending a guy at Wal-Mart?

 

We know you've had more than two beers. When I've had two beers, I didn't hit six parked cars, drive my car through the front doors of a Toys-R-Us, pee my pants or pass out at a traffic light.

 

When you see an emergency vehicle behind you with its lights and sirens on, pull to the RIGHT, and stop. We are usually required to pass cars on the left.

 

When you're driving in the fast lane and you see a cop behind you, don't go 5 MPH under the speed limit. We are not impressed by how safe of a driver you ca n be, we're trying to go help someone (or catch that guy in SUV that just cut you off). Safely move over and let us pass please.

 

If we park our cruiser across the road with lights flashing, don't ask if the road is closed or if there is an accident, just take an alternate route and DON'T DRIVE AROUND US!

 

If you get a warning instead of a ticket from a motorcycle cop, go buy a lottery ticket, because you've already beaten the odds.

 

When you see an officer conducting a traffic stop, or with a suspect in handcuffs, it is generally not a good idea to approach him and ask for directions. If you do, don't expect the officer to be nice when he tells you to get lost, and don't expect the officer to take the time to explain.

Here's how to get out of a ticket. Don't break the law.

 

If you drive a piece of crap, that is why you're getting pulled over.

 

In one week I pulled over 10 cars for minor traffic violations. 5 out of 10 had no vehicle insurance. 3 out of 10 had suspended driver's licenses. 2 out of 10 had warrants. 1 out of 10 had felony warrants. 1 was a known sex offender with his 12 year old niece in the car without her mothers knowledge.

 

If you've just been pulled over doing 70 in a 35, do not greet the officer with, "What seems to be the problem, officer?"

 

We get coffee breaks too.

 

When you're the victim of a burglary, take the time you spend waiting for the officer to find the model number and the serial number of the stuff that was taken.

 

Some cops are just jerks, but take heart in the fact that other cops don't like them either.

 

If it's night time and you're driving a vehicle with tinted windows and I pull you over, it's not because of your skin color. I usually can't tell if the vehicle even has a driver until the windows rolled down.

 

Every time you hear on the news about people running away from a crazed gunman, someone's son or daughter in a police uniform is running TOWARD that crazed gunman.

 

Yes, it's true, cops usually don't give other cops tickets. Think of it as an employee discount, perk or benefit. Other cops are family and you wouldn't give your brother a ticket if you were a cop either.

 

If your local police agency has a helicopter, everyone knows it's loud and annoying, but did you know it can cover the same area as 20 patrol officers and safely chase criminals that are driving 90 MPH through city streets. Many times the guy has no idea it's there and slows down.

 

Police work is.... writing reports.

 

If you rob a gas station you're only going to get about $100, but I get to see a K9 dog use your arm as a chew toy. For all I care you can keep the $100.

 

In one year of patrol work in a large city, only about ten minutes would be cool enough to be on the television show Cops.

 

Every traffic stop could end in gunfire, but we have to be polite and professional until that time.

 

I've taken about the same amount of men and women to jail for domestic violence, so NO, it's not always the man.

 

If the light was yellow, we wouldn't be having this conversation.

 

Cops know you pay taxes and that your taxes pay cops' salaries.

 

Cops also pay taxes, which also pay cops' salaries so, hey, this traffic stop is on me. Now sign here; press hard. There are several copies.

 

There is a difference between civil law and criminal law so don't ask me about your divorce, child custody agreement or someone oweing you money.

 

Don't try and kick my ass and then ask if you can have a "warning" and not go to jail.

 

I don't have to read you your rights until I ask a guilt seeking questions and the question "sir did you poop your pants?" is not guilt seeking.

 

IF you see police directing traffic at an accident, county fair, concert etc. and the line gets long don't get pissed and honk your horn because I'll make it a point to keep you there twice as long as everyone else.

 

If you squash 6 people into the cab of a ford ranger and tell me everyone is wearing there seat belt I'll laugh and then write you your ticket.

 

And for gods sake stop threathing us with a lawyer and going to court. WE DON'T CARE, we go to court all the time. It's part of the job.

 

If you are upset with your neighbors loud music, walk across the lawn and knock on their door to tell them...don't call 911.

 

If their is a stray animal in your back yard, ignore it. It is not appropriate to call 911 because the neighborhood cat is sitting under your tree.

 

Relax...the aliens have not landed and are probably not even coming. In either event, if you see aliens do not call 911...call the national guard, they are far better equipt to handle alien invasion than the local police department.

 

When a bird gets into your house and its flying around from room to room, there is no need to call the police. Call a zoo.

 

When your car breaks down, 911 does not link directly to a repair shop. Police cars are not equipt to tow other vehicles. Call a garage.

 

If you cannot speak any english at all, dont expect much when you call 911 in the event of an emergency. The folks on the other end of the phone most likely speak english, not your language. Need help? Try asking for it in english...the results will be better.

 

The local police arent a private security agency. 911 isnt your personal alert number. Take some pesonal responsibility and let the police do their job. If you break the law try to not be so surprized when the police have questions for you.

 

There is no "official" quota system. Besides, if you know of a better way of raising revenue without raising taxes I'd like to hear it.

 

If you get caught for DUI or DWI dont get pissed off at the cop, you are the a**hole.

 

If you absolutely need to drink or take drugs at least have the decency to stay the hell indoors. Your high, drunk ass shouldnt be navigating the streets in a motor vehicle. If you are caught doing so it wasnt a cop that made you do it. Take your punishment like a man.

 

Just because the deskcam on my cruiser goes blank every time someone cries police brutality doesn't mean it happened on purpose. I swear it was a technical glitch...

 

I don't care about the benefits of hemp, pot is currently illegal and you are under arrest.

 

I don't eat donuts because I can't eat just one.

 

Yes I look tired because I work 20 hours of OT to make ends meet.

 

At Christmas I am not interested in telling you about "this one call I had..."

 

I don't like holding dead kids.

 

I've been beaten up too. I know it hurts.

 

I've been peppered too. I know it hurts.

 

I've been Tasered too. I know it hurts.

 

I've been stabbed too. I know it hurts.

 

I've been shot too. I know it hurts.

 

I just want to go home too.

 

Thank You

 

The Police

 

 

:lol :notworthy

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