TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.

MARIA: Here it is.

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?

CLASS: Maria.

 

____________________________________

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

 

_____________________________________

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"

GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"

TEACHER: No, that's wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

 

 

_________________________________________

 

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

 

__________________________________

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing

 

we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE: Me!

 

_____________________________________

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

 

_______________________________________

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."

MILLIE: I is...

TEACHER: No, Millie... Always say, "I am."

MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

 

_________________________________

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped

 

down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted

 

it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the ax in his hand.

 

_____________________________________

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly,

 

do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don't have to,my Mom is a good cook.

 

______________________________

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on "My Dog" is

 

exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?

CLYDE : No, teacher, it's the same dog.

 

___________________________________

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person

 

who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher

Those smart mouthed little bastards should be slapped with a ruler like in the old days.