January 2, 200917 yr Author The story of the conception of Jesus (also known as Original Jesus) is a well known one: Gabriel (God's messenger) tells Mary of her chosen status, she gets knocked up by God, who had to prove he really was master of the g-spot to Superman. What many don't know, however, is that while Mary remained a virgin even after God had 'done his thang' (Rick James Translation), a few days later Gabriel gave Joseph the go-ahead and he shtupped the hell out of her. I mean, he REALLY did her good! The details are unclear, but it seems as if his baby-batter and God's (however holy God's was) somehow partially fused, creating an unholy COCKtail that would form a truly hideous child like no other (not to be mistaken for Ashlee Simpson). It is now widely believed that a dismantled computer system by the name of JESUS 9000 had been turned into mush and injected into God's testicles to fortify His Holy baby-batter.[citation needed] On its own, it was harmless, but when it came in contact with human baby-batter, it formed a deadly concoction: JEBUS!!!
January 2, 200917 yr Author Failed Miracles Jebus was a complete f*** up as a miracle worker. He was at a party with Jesus, when Jesus turned water into wine. Jebus, jealous of his brother, tried to do the same with another pitcher of water intead he turned it into a very strong poison that killed 10 people. Jebus tried to heal a blind man, he then found out the guy wasn't blind he was just sleeping. Jebus effectively turned the regular guy into to blind man. Jebus also tried to heal a sick child, he was able to heal the child. But, he did it wrong so the child got Leperacy and died.
January 2, 200917 yr Author Fun Facts about Jebus Jebus and Tom Cruise use the same stylist Jebus has been arrested twice, both charges were dropped Jebus is a raging alcoholic Angelina Jolie plans to adopt Jebus
January 2, 200917 yr This is retarded. Stop giving him compliments, it just encourages him to post more.
January 2, 200917 yr This is retarded. Stop giving him compliments, it just encourages him to post more. :notworthy
January 2, 200917 yr If it is a joke, it's not funny. If it's not a joke, then you're a moron. Either way, this thread sucks
January 2, 200917 yr Author If it is a joke, it's not funny. If it's not a joke, then you're a moron. Either way, this thread sucks non-believer
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