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Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"



Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its ass."



Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?



Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?




If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?




If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?



Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their ass when they ask where the bathroom is?




Why does your OB -GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?




Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!




What do you call male ballerinas?





Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?





If Wiley Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?




If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?





If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?




If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?




Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?





Stop singing and read on.





Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?




Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?




Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

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more thoughts...


if a person takes off their prosthetic leg and hits someone over the head with it, is that a kick?


who was the first person to look at a horse and say "i could make glue out of that"?


why do people drive on parkways but park on driveways?


why do lamps have shades? (if you want a lamp, why would you want shade?)

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