Jump to content

instruction labels


MVPosey
 Share

Recommended Posts

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...

 

On Sears hairdryer:

Do not use while sleeping.

(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

 

On a bag of Fritos:

You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

(The shoplifter special!)

 

On a bar of Dial soap:

Directions: Use like regular soap.

(and that would be how?)

 

On some Swann frozen dinners:

Serving suggestion: Defrost.

(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

 

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)

Do not turn upside down.

(Too late! you lose!)

 

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:

Product will be hot after heating.

(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

 

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:

Do not iron clothes on body.

(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)

 

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:

Do not drive car or operate machinery.

(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

 

On Nytol sleep aid:

Warning: may cause drowsiness.

(One would hope!)

 

On a Korean kitchen knife:

Warning: keep out of children.

(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

 

On a string of Christmas lights:

For indoor or outdoor use only.

(As opposed to use in outer space.)

 

On a food processor:

Not to be used for the other use.

(Now I'm curious.)

 

On Sainsbury's peanuts:

Warning: contains nuts.

(but no peas?)

 

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:

Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

 

On a Swedish chainsaw:

Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

 

On a child's Superman costume:

Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I kid you not, I once saw a Vacume cleaner that on the Warning list it said, "DO NOT INSERT PENIS." That's not the best part though. Right next to that warning was a picture of the vacume hose with one of those red circles with the line through it on the picture.

678612[/snapback]

 

 

Was the line through the picture of the vacuum or the penis? :lol

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I kid you not, I once saw a Vacume cleaner that on the Warning list it said, "DO NOT INSERT PENIS." That's not the best part though. Right next to that warning was a picture of the vacume hose with one of those red circles with the line through it on the picture.

678612[/snapback]

 

 

Was the line through the picture of the vacuum or the penis? :lol

678660[/snapback]

 

The vacume. They didn't show the penis in the picture.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This thread is quite old. Please consider starting a new thread rather than reviving this one.

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share



×
×
  • Create New...