February 26, 200521 yr "THE FOLLOWING IS A LIST OF "MANISMS": > > "I'M GOING FISHING" > Translated: I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid >and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in >complete safety. > > "IT'S A GUY THING" > Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern >connected with it and you have no chance at all of making it logical". > > "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" > Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?" > > "UH HUH", "SURE, HONEY", OR "YES, DEAR" > Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned >response. > > "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" > Translated: "I have no idea how it works." > > I WAS LISTENING TO YOU IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON >MY MIND." > Translated: "I was wondering if that red-head over there >is wearing a bra." > > "TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD". > Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum >cleaner." > > "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR." > Translated: "Are you still talking?" > > "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS." > Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the >address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification >numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday." > > "I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE >ROSES". > Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner was a >real babe." > > "OH, DON'T FUSS. I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL." > Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but will >bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt." > > "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING". > Translated: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty >soon." > > "I CAN'T FIND IT." > Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, >so I'm completely clueless." > > "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?" > Translated: "What did you catch me at?" > > "I HEARD YOU." > Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just >said and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that >you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me." > > "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE." > Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me and >realize it could be worse." > > "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC" > Translated: "Oh, God, please don't try on one more >outfit, I'm starving." > > "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE." > Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."
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