This won't go far and will end quickly. These never work

 

NEW YORK (AP) -- Stephen Colbert has announced his candidacy for president on "The Colbert Report," tossing his satirical hat into the ring of an already crowded race.

 

 

Stephen Colbert looks like a formidable candidate.

 

"I shall seek the office of the president of the United States," Colbert said Tuesday on his Comedy Central show as red, white and blue balloons fell around him.

 

Colbert, 43, had recently satirized the coyness of would-be presidential candidates by refusing to disclose whether he would seek the country's highest office -- a refusal that often came without any prompting.

 

Shortly before making the announcement, Colbert appeared on "The Daily Show" (the show that spawned Colbert's spin-off) and played cagey, claiming he was only ready to consider a White House bid. He entered the studio set pulled by a bicycle pedaled by Uncle Sam and quickly pulled out a bale of hay and a bottle of beer to show that he was "an Average Joe."

 

Colbert said his final decision would be announced on a "more prestigious show," which turned out to be his own.

 

"After nearly 15 minutes of soul-searching, I have heard the call," said Colbert.

 

His recent best-seller, "I Am America (And So Can You!)," allowed him to mock the now-standard approach to a White House run, complete with a high-profile book tour.

 

Colbert said he planned to run in South Carolina, "and South Carolina alone." The state, one of the key early primaries, is also Colbert's native state. Earlier this week, South Carolina public television station ETV invited Colbert to announce his candidacy on its air.

 

Exactly how far the mock conservative pundit planned to stretch his impression of a presidential candidate wasn't clear. Colbert rarely breaks character on camera, including at his memorable speech at the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner last year.

 

The Comedy Central host has often mobilized his fans ("Colbert Nation"), encouraging them to vote to have a Hungarian bridge named after him, for example, or to vandalize Web site Wikipedia.com with his version of "truthiness" and "wikiality."

 

Colbert said he would run as both a Democrat and Republican. He earlier explained the strategy: "I can lose twice." He claimed three running mate possibilities: Colbert-Huckabee, Colbert-Putin or Colbert-Colbert.

 

Minutes after announcing his presidential pursuit, Colbert welcomed CBS political analyst Jeff Greenfield to ask how he had changed the race.

 

"This is going to be one for the books," said Greenfield.

 

A spokesman for Colbert said he would be unavailable for further comment Tuesday evening.

 

In a guest column for Maureen Dowd in Sunday's New York Times, Colbert wrote: "I am not ready to announce yet -- even though it's clear that the voters are desperate for a white, male, middle-aged, Jesus-trumpeting alternative."

He has to take this the whole way now. Actually hit the campaign trail and see what happens.

He has to take this the whole way now. Actually hit the campaign trail and see what happens.

I personally wish he would even though I wouldn't actually vote for him but I just don't see it happening.

 

Plus, if actually got fully into the race wouldn't he have to discontinue his show? Just so many factors working against this which the late Pat Paulsen could attest to.

No way. His show gives him a nightly campaign appearance.....it's perfect!

No way. His show gives him a nightly campaign appearance.....it's perfect!

What I mean though is wouldn't it be running in conflict with several election laws as it would serve as one big free advertisement for him. I mean, I believe Reagan got some flack just for some networks showing his movies during his campaign let alone an entire show dedicated to him

Oh, that I wouldn't be able to tell you.

 

I do know that Law and Order episodes with Fred Thompson in them are still running.

Colbert wrote: "I am not ready to announce yet -- even though it's clear that the voters are desperate for a white, male, middle-aged, Jesus-trumpeting alternative."

 

:lol

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/14/opinion/...amp;oref=slogin

 

A Mock Columnist, Amok

 

By MAUREEN DOWD

Published: October 14, 2007

 

I was in my office, writing a column on the injustice of relative marginal tax rates for hedge fund managers, when I saw Stephen Colbert on TV.

 

He was sneering that Times columns make good ?kindling.? He was ranting that after you throw away the paper, ?it takes over a hundred years for the lies to biodegrade.? He was observing, approvingly, that ?Dick Cheney?s fondest pipe dream is driving a bulldozer into The New York Times while drinking crude oil out of Keith Olbermann?s skull.?

 

I called Colbert with a dare: if he thought it was so easy to be a Times Op-Ed pundit, he should try it. He came right over. In a moment of weakness, I had staged a coup d?moi. I just hope he leaves at some point. He?s typing and drinking and threatening to ?shave Paul Krugman with a broken bottle.?

 

I Am an Op-Ed Columnist (And So Can You!)

 

By STEPHEN COLBERT

 

Surprised to see my byline here, aren?t you? I would be too, if I read The New York Times. But I don?t. So I?ll just have to take your word that this was published. Frankly, I prefer emoticons to the written word, and if you disagree sad.gif

 

I?d like to thank Maureen Dowd for permitting/begging me to write her column today. As I type this, she?s watching from an overstuffed divan, petting her prize Abyssinian and sipping a Dirty Cosmotinijito. Which reminds me: Before I get started, I have to take care of one other bit of business:

 

Bad things are happening in countries you shouldn?t have to think about. It?s all George Bush?s fault, the vice president is Satan, and God is gay.

 

There. Now I?ve written Frank Rich?s column too.

 

So why I am writing Miss Dowd?s column today? Simple. Because I believe the 2008 election, unlike all previous elections, is important. And a lot of Americans feel confused about the current crop of presidential candidates.

 

For instance, Hillary Clinton. I can?t remember if I?m supposed to be scared of her so Democrats will think they should nominate her when she?s actually easy to beat, or if I?m supposed to be scared of her because she?s legitimately scary.

 

Or Rudy Giuliani. I can?t remember if I?m supposed to support him because he?s the one who can beat Hillary if she gets nominated, or if I?m supposed to support him because he?s legitimately scary.

 

And Fred Thompson. In my opinion ?Law & Order? never sufficiently explained why the Manhattan D.A. had an accent like an Appalachian catfish wrestler.

 

Well, suddenly an option is looming on the horizon. And I don?t mean Al Gore (though he?s a world-class loomer). First of all, I don?t think Nobel Prizes should go to people I was seated next to at the Emmys. Second, winning the Nobel Prize does not automatically qualify you to be commander in chief. I think George Bush has proved definitively that to be president, you don?t need to care about science, literature or peace.

 

While my hat is not presently in the ring, I should also point out that it is not on my head. So where?s that hat? (Hint: John McCain was seen passing one at a gas station to fuel up the Straight Talk Express.)

 

Others point to my new bestseller, ?I Am America (And So Can You!)? noting that many candidates test the waters with a book first. Just look at Barack Obama, John Edwards or O. J. Simpson.

 

Look at the moral guidance I offer. On faith: ?After Jesus was born, the Old Testament basically became a way for Bible publishers to keep their word count up.? On gender: ?The sooner we accept the basic differences between men and women, the sooner we can stop arguing about it and start having sex.? On race: ?While skin and race are often synonymous, skin cleansing is good, race cleansing is bad.? On the elderly: ?They look like lizards.?

 

Our nation is at a Fork in the Road. Some say we should go Left; some say go Right. I say, ?Doesn?t this thing have a reverse gear?? Let?s back this country up to a time before there were forks in the road ? or even roads. Or forks, for that matter. I want to return to a simpler America where we ate our meat off the end of a sharpened stick.

 

Let me regurgitate: I know why you want me to run, and I hear your clamor. I share Americans? nostalgia for an era when you not only could tell a man by the cut of his jib, but the jib industry hadn?t yet fled to Guangdong. And I don?t intend to tease you for weeks the way Newt Gingrich did, saying that if his supporters raised $30 million, he would run for president. I would run for 15 million. Cash.

 

Nevertheless, I am not ready to announce yet ? even though it?s clear that the voters are desperate for a white, male, middle-aged, Jesus-trumpeting alternative.

 

What do I offer? Hope for the common man. Because I am not the Anointed or the Inevitable. I am just an Average Joe like you ? if you have a TV show.

That dude is annoying and he looks like Bob Saget.

Well, suddenly an option is looming on the horizon. And I don?t mean Al Gore (though he?s a world-class loomer). First of all, I don?t think Nobel Prizes should go to people I was seated next to at the Emmys. Second, winning the Nobel Prize does not automatically qualify you to be commander in chief. I think George Bush has proved definitively that to be president, you don?t need to care about science, literature or peace.

:lol

That dude is annoying and he looks like Bob Saget.

I believe you actually stole that great arguement from the Lincoln/Douglas debates

Well, suddenly an option is looming on the horizon. And I don?t mean Al Gore (though he?s a world-class loomer). First of all, I don?t think Nobel Prizes should go to people I was seated next to at the Emmys. Second, winning the Nobel Prize does not automatically qualify you to be commander in chief. I think George Bush has proved definitively that to be president, you don?t need to care about science, literature or peace.

 

 

 

This man is brilliant, a genius and the best show on TV imo.

 

I love his comedy even if I disagree with him often and the persona he plays is amusing.

Just what this Country needs, Truthiness.