June 18, 201412 yr I'm posting this from the game thread. I got bored and spent fifteen minutes putting this together. "You're as good at kissing Jeffrey's ass as Wes Helms was...I don't know if you're as good as GREG (Dobbs) though, he's a pretty good ass kisser. Always was and still is. Oops I'm breaking the fourth wall. I...am the worst shortstop in baseball. I've been the worst ever since Day 1 when I was traded to the Marlins and I've been vilified and hated since that day because Admin Beinfest saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit. That's right I'm a Admin Beinfest guy. You know who else was a Admin Beinfest guy? HANLEY RAMIREZ! And he split, just like I should be DFA'd. But the biggest difference between me and Hanley is I'm staying with the title of worst major league shortstop. I've grabbed so many of Jeffrey H Loria's imaginary brass rings that its finally dawned on me, they're just that. They're completely imaginary. The only thing that's real is me and that day in and day out for three years that I've proven to everybody in the world that I'm the worst, at the plate, in the field, hell even in the clubhouse, nobody's worse than me. And yet no matter how many times I prove it I'm still in the everyday lineup, I'm still at shortstop every day, I'm playing over better hitters like Derek Dietrich, I even got promoted to the top of the lineup. I'm not in New Orleans, I'm not back in Jacksonville but the fact of the matter is I should be and the fact that DEREK got sent back down and I didn't makes every Marlin fan sick. Let me get this straight, you people booing me right now are just a big a reason why I'm sucking as anything else. Because you're the ones who make the front office believe I'm a superstar on defense, you're the ones who put me on the top 10 plays of sportscenter after every flashy play. Hell, maybe I'll keep on starting. Maybe I'll stay the Marlins starting shorstop forever! Hey J.P Arencibia how ya doin'. The reason I'm staying is because of you people because even while I'm starting you'll keep coming to games and chanting my name. I'm just a spoke on the wheel the wheel keeps turning and I understand that. But Jeffrey Loria's gonna make money despite himself. He's a millionaire who should be a...well he shouldn't be a millionaire. That's because he surrounds himself with glad handed, ass kissing, douchebag yes men like Dan Jennings and Michael Hill who are gonna tell him everything he wants to hear. And I'd like to think this franchise will be better off when Jeffrey Loria's dead but the truth is, it's gonna be taken over by his gold digging wife and his doofus son in law, and the rest of his stupid family. Let me tell you a personal story about Jeffrey Loria. You know how we do this whole 'Tobacco Free Florida' campai..."
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