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Valentine's Day Plans

Featured Replies

What are your plans for V Day?

 

I am single now. I guess I'll just spend it with friends watching sappy love movies and hogging up chocolates and candy hearts.

  • Author

Um...ok. That picture is a little too....graphic. :blink:

  • Author

I know that. I used to hate V Day when I was in high school. It just caught me by surprise, that's all.

no problem. Remember in elementary school everyone would give out those preprinted valentines, to everyone (girl or guy.) To be honest I always found that weird.

  • Author

I loved doing that! I would always give the boy I liked the best card in the stack. LOL

that is good. My mom always wanted me to do it and even then I thought that cards were a waste of money, because when I gave a valentine to some boy, I knew I didn't mean it. To each their own!

The History of Valentine's Day :mischief

 

Ancient Times: The beginnings of the holiday started with a dissident tribe of pagans, later identified as a band of Republican Presidential Candidates. At that time Hallmark cards were not able to use the modern techniques of printing such as inkjets and lasers. Instead the company used the blood of goats of dogs as primitive forms of ink. To keep the locals unsuspicious of their capitalistic exploitation of the holiday they presented the dead animals as a sacrifice to Lupercalia. Also the origins of dominatrix and sadomasochism are seen at this time when young men would use the hides to whip the infertile women of the town asking them "Who's yo' daddy?"

 

Christianity: Now, let the pagans have their uncivilized fun and festivals, and who has to come along and ruin it? First, it was PETA blowing the whistle on animal cruelty. Then it was the early Roman Catholic Church, who was jealous that the most exciting holiday on their calendar was forty days of giving something up. So, they adopted the holiday to have wild parties. They gave the holiday the new name of St. Valentine's Day. Saint Valentine performed secret marriages and was known in certain Bishops' circles as a master of Kama Sutra. Later, he was sentenced to death for some oppressive reason. Before his death he sent his lover a WallMart Dilbert Card ($2.85) signed "Your Valentine."

 

Medieval: In medieval Europe, the people believed that the 14th of February was the day that birds selected their mates. Hence the term "lovebirds." Wow, they sure were clever. They couldn't figure out how to cook meat, but they had time to think up witty phrases like, lovebirds. The first card was officially sent at this time, a Hallmark fold out, ($3.50) from a prisoner in France. The card was actually a cryptic message plotting his escape. Unfortunately, the wife was flattered by the message of love and ignored the plan. Later her husband was beheaded.

 

Victorian: Everything was mass-produced, and materialism killed the spirit of the holiday. Oh the joys of the Industrial Revolution. It turned the world into faceless masses, inspiring Ayn Rand novels, and in turn inspiring lots of college kids not to pursue a major in English.

 

Modern: Today children and lovers celebrate the holiday together. Children give candy hearts either for the sugar high or a peck on the cheek behind Mrs. Weidlemeyer's classroom. On the other hand, lovers exchange chocolate hearts. They become disillusioned, thinking that on that night, instead of performing the act of sex, they will delve into the art of making love. Lovers fill every restaurant in town, leaving singles to make reservations even at the drive-thru line at McDonalds.

DICTIONARY OF DATING

 

 

DATING:

The process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.

 

EASY:

A term used to describe a woman who has the morals of a man.

 

EYE CONTACT:

A method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many women have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.

 

FRIEND:

A member of the opposite sex who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.

 

INDIFFERENCE

A woman's feeling toward a man that is interpreted by the man as "playing hard to get."

 

IRRITATING HABIT:

What the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.

 

NYMPHOMANIAC:

A man's term for a woman who wants to do it more often than he does.

 

SOBER

A condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.

 

ATTRACTION:

The act of associating horniness with a particular person.

 

LOVE AT 1st SIGHT:

What occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.

 

LAW OF RELATIVITY:

How attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

DICTIONARY OF DATING

 

 

DATING:

The process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.

 

EASY:

A term used to describe a woman who has the morals of a man.

 

EYE CONTACT:

A method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many women have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.

 

FRIEND:

A member of the opposite sex who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.

 

INDIFFERENCE

A woman's feeling toward a man that is interpreted by the man as "playing hard to get."

 

IRRITATING HABIT:

What the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.

 

NYMPHOMANIAC:

A man's term for a woman who wants to do it more often than he does.

 

SOBER

A condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.

 

ATTRACTION:

The act of associating horniness with a particular person.

 

LOVE AT 1st SIGHT:

What occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.

 

LAW OF RELATIVITY:

How attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

if girls would stop wearing things that accentuate the boobs, there would be MORE eye contact.

Me and some friends are gonna go to NikeTown and buy the Jordans that are coming out this Saturday. :D

(ladies: don't take heed to my previous comment...accentuate boobs!)

*fan of the cleavage*

well right now im seing 3 females tho. i gotta play it slick in valentines day cuz i dont wanna get cuaght up dood.. im gonna have a lot of sex tho ill tell u that lol

I will be sending a flower to myself.

 

j/k

 

I personally hate V-Day

Well i'm planning to ask this girl out from champagnat,and taking her to eat at olive gardens on valentines.I LOVE HER!

Well i'm planning to ask this girl out from champagnat,and taking her to eat at olive gardens on valentines.I LOVE HER!

i hope you drive..

Thank you friends,good luck with your valentine's.I already got my haircut today i got a blowout,i'm set for tommorow which is when i will talk to her ;)

  • Author

WOOOT! You go Laz!!! By the way, does she go to Miami or Hialeah campus?

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