cgator

6 Not that I've even come close on any of these.

dumb and dumber ??? :blink: May have been the wrong thread Ramp. whoops......

Love Canal (okay, that one may be a little too old for some of you.) Too bad! It was HUGH news for the time period.

grill

Exxon

shots

It was empty.... Like my head later.......

Another e-mail sent by a 'friend' We always hear "the rules" from the female side. > > Now here are The Rules from the male side. > > These are our rules! > > > > > > 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it > > down. We need > > it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you > > leaving it down. > > > > > > 2. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it > > that way. > > > > > > 3. Crying is blackmail. > > > > > > 4. Ask for what you want.Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do > > not work!! > > Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! > > > > > > 5. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers from us to almost > > every question. > > > > > > 6. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's > > what we do. > > Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. > > > > > > 7. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. > > > > > > 8. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. > > In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. > > > > 9. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, > > don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. > > > > > > 10. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. > > > > > > 11. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the > > ways > > makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. > > > > > > 12. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it > > done. > > Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. > > > > > > 13. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during > > commercials. > > > > > > 14. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we. > > > > > > 15. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. > > Peach, for > > example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no > > idea > > what mauve is. > > > > > > 16. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. > > > > > > 17. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like > > nothing's > > wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. > > > > > > 18. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an > answer > > you > > don't want to hear. > > > > > > 19. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is > fine. > > > > Really. > > > > > > 20. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to > > discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster > > trucks. > > > > > > 21. You have enough clothes. > > > > > > 22. You have too many shoes. > > > > > > 23. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape. > > > > > > > > Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch > > tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that; it's like > > camping. > > > > > > -- Author unknown

This e-mail was sent to me, and I thought you maight appreciate it: Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing. One lady turns and asks, "Do you still get horny?" > The other replies, "Oh sure I do." The first old lady asks, "What do you do about it?" The second old lady replies, "I suck a lifesaver." After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who drives you to the beach?" > > > > > An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tightly so that it would not blow off in the wind. > A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?" "Yes, I know," said the lady, "I need both hands to hold onto this hat." "But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed!" said the gentleman in earnest. The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, "Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!" > > > > Ethel and Mabel, two elderly widows, were watching the folks go by from their park bench. Ethel said, "You know, Mabel, I've been reading this 'Sex and Marriage'book and all they talk about is 'mutual orgasm'. 'Mutual orgasm' here and mutual orgasm' there - that's all they talk about. Tell me, Mabel, when your husband was alive, did you two ever have mutual orgasm?". Mabel thought for a long while. Finally, she shook her head and said, "No, I think we had State Farm." > > > Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home reminiscing. The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny. The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper also, and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece. The third old lady remarked, "I can't hear a word you're saying, but I remember the guy you're talking about." >

Actual School Absence Excuse Notes These are excuse notes from parents (including original spelling) collected by schools from all over the country. 1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him. 2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot. 3. Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33. 4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating. 5. Please excuse Roland from PE for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip. 6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face. 7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part. 8. Megan could not come to sc! hool today because she has been bothered by very close veins. 9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side. 10. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels. 11. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the sh!ts. [words in ()'s were crossed out.] 12. Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak. 13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust. 14. Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault. 15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear. 16. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we t! hought it was Sunday. 17. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral. 18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines. 19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well. 20. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps. 21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover. 22. Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor. 23. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.! 24. Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor.

Happy Birthday!!! :happybday :cheers :party :balloons :elefant :rock :brigginbounce :happydance :coolman :drunks :super I hope its a great one! later..........

Guess that all depends on just how many of them are still there next year. I'd love to see the Royals keep a great running going throughout the season. If the Twins and Royals put on the best race for the season, it would really turn baseball upside down (and have Selig bouncing off padded walls in an all white room somewhere.) later.......

link Most Americans Admit Risky Driving Email this story ? By DEE-ANN DURBIN Associated Press Writer May 27, 2003, 4:32 PM EDT WASHINGTON -- Over 90 percent of drivers say they speed, eat, use cell phones or even read while at the wheel, a poll says. And they say they're sure other drivers are worse. Ninety-one percent of drivers of all ages acknowledged at least one risky activity in the previous six months in the poll, which was released Tuesday by Volvo Cars of North America, AAA and Partners for Highway Safety. Speeders made up 73 percent of drivers; 59 percent ate while driving; 37 percent used a cell phone; 28 percent wore no seat belt; 26 percent used no signal when turning; and 14 percent admitted to reading while driving. "We worry about the car, the weather, the driver in front or behind us. But we don't spend nearly enough time worrying about our own driving habits," said Bill Johnson, executive director of the National Association of Police Organizations. Drivers were likely to say that someone else on the road was more dangerous than they were. Drivers from 26-44 were most likely to engage in risky driving, but when that age group was asked which drivers should be retested to make sure they're driving safely, 83 percent said seniors and 69 percent said teens. Only 56 percent said everyone should be retested. Of those 65 and older, 68 percent said teens should be retested and 59 percent said seniors should be retested. Of those under 26, 83 percent said seniors should be retested and 47 percent said teens should be retested. Volvo, AAA and Partners for Highway Safety have started Web site that invites drivers to test their driving knowledge and learn about safe driving techniques. The group also plans to air a half-hour television special this summer on safe driving. Florida Attorney General Charlie Crist, who is working with the group, said there is a critical need for drivers to re-examine their behavior. "The simple fact is most highway fatalities can be avoided," he said. The drivers polled also said drivers have gotten more dangerous. Of those polled, 81 percent said cars are safer than in the past and 57 percent said roads are safer, but only 27 percent said drivers are safer. The poll was conducted by Mason-Dixon Polling & Research Inc. from May 13 to 16. It questioned 1,100 drivers ages 16 or older and had a margin of error of plus or minus 3 percentage points. * __ On the Net: Safe driving test But we all knew this already, didn't we? later........

id say 85% mental. ever since he hit Vazquez in the head, he has stunk I have to second that. Ryan NEVER seemed to be the same after that happened. I think he lost a little confidence, and that is all it takes in this game to destroy a pitcher. If he can get over the mental problems associated with the loss of confidence, I think he can turn into that 200+ K guy again. later......

link Death Sentence Overturned Because Jury Used Bible Sun May 25, 2003 08:56 AM ET DENVER (Reuters) - A judge overturned a convicted murderer's death sentence because jurors consulted Biblical passages such as an "eye for an eye" during death-penalty deliberations. Robert Harlan was convicted and sentenced to death in 1995 for the murder of Rhonda Maloney, a waitress who was driving home from work when Harlan forced her car off the road. Harlan also shot and paralyzed good Samaritan Jaquie Creazzo who tried to come to the woman's aid. While noting that Harlan's crimes "were among the most grievous, heinous and reprehensible" he had seen in 18 years on the bench, Adams County District Judge John J. Vigil said Friday that court officials failed to properly sequester the jury. Jury members stayed in a hotel during deliberations and court officials made sure newspapers were not delivered to their rooms, but the jurors did find bibles in the rooms. "The jury supervision performed in this case was extremely negligent and appallingly lax," Vigil wrote in his ruling. "Jury resort to biblical code has no place in a constitutional death penalty proceeding." Vigil has not yet set a date for Harlan's resentencing. "We respectively disagree and will appeal," Adams County assistant district attorney Steve Bernard said. He also said the record was not clear about whether a bible was brought into the jury room. In a five-day hearing last month, Harlan's attorneys argued that several jurors consulted biblical scripture during jury deliberations, particularly two Old Testament passages from Leviticus that read, "fracture for fracture, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, as he has caused disfigurement of a man, so shall it be done to him." And, "whoever kills an animal shall restore it, but whoever kills a man shall be put to death." Prosecutors had argued that the sequestration order applied to news media coverage and that jurors should be allowed to draw upon their personal moral code including the Bible while rendering a verdict. Forgive me for pointing something out, but don't these same courts use bibles to swear in witnesses? Has it gone too far? later.........

link Goof gives drivers a bargain at the pump Associated Press May 25, 2003 SPRINGVILLE, Ind. -- Margie Fizer usually buys mid-grade gasoline. When she saw the price for regular was 15.9 cents a gallon, though, she changed her mind. "I thought, 'Heck, I'll pump regular,' " she said. Fizer said several other customers at the Family Express in rural LaPorte County were also pumping gasoline at the time. Fizer told The Michigan City News-Dispatch that it appears that when the station was changing prices upward Thursday somebody apparently misplaced the decimal point. What should have been $1.599 ended up being $0.159. A man answering the telephone Friday at the convenience store said no one at the station about 20 miles west of South Bend would comment, then hung up. A message seeking comment was left Friday at Family Express corporate headquarters in Valparaiso by The Associated Press. Fizer said she used a credit card to pay at the pump, but some customers had gone inside to pay. She was surprised no one inside noticed what was happening. Fizer has a receipt showing she filled her tank with 17.359 gallons of gas for $2.76. "I plan on saving it," she said. "I'll never see that price for gasoline again."

Unknown organism takes over Minute-Maid Park roof. Nothing like a Chia pet roof to amuse the average basball fan. Houston Chronicle later.........

link Cops too quick on the draw 25may03 WHEN police accused John Simpson of parking in a disabled space and threatened to tow his car away, he thought they must have the wrong man. He had left his Peugeot 405 in an unmarked space 100m from his home, with no disabled bay in sight. It was only when he went to investigate the scene that the truth emerged. Council workers had drawn a disabled bay around his car, and added a signpost. "It's got to be the most bizarre situation I've come across," said Mr Simpson, 55, a London graphic designer. "The police were very blunt ? indeed, quite aggressive. "I didn't remember parking in a disabled space ? I thought surely I would have noticed and it's just not the kind of thing I'd do." A spokesman for Haringey Council said: "It is not normal procedure to paint around a vehicle, but in this case a disabled bay further along the road had to be moved, which may account for the anomaly." I love the real life stories, they are just too funny. later.........

Maybe they are just getting that one big 'bump in the road' out of the way early. They will probably snap this spiral and go an a tear. later.........

link Groundskeeper Ejected From Baseball Game Sat May 24, 6:36 PM ET By BEN WALKER, AP Baseball Writer Bill Butler wanted to protect his field. Instead, a tarpaulin dispute turned heated and he became part of baseball lore ? a groundskeeper who got ejected. "It was a little bit shocking," Butler said by telephone Saturday. "I couldn't really believe it." Players and managers are regularly tossed from ballgames, and even mascots and broadcasters have been thrown out. But there was no apparent record of anything like this. The episode happened Friday night in Lakewood, N.J., where the BlueClaws were playing Kannapolis in the Class A South Atlantic League. The weather had been spotty for a few days and by the seventh inning, with manager Buddy Biancalana's Lakewood team leading 3-0, it was raining pretty hard at the home of the Philadelphia Phillies (news)' affiliate. Butler, a three-time Groundskeeper of the Year in the minors and working his 13th season in the business, said he told umpires Brandon Cooney and Steve Cummings it was time to cover the field. "Both managers didn't want to risk getting their players hurt," Butler said. "The field was saturated from three days of rain. I was yelling out to the umps and signaling." Butler then walked onto the field to talk with the umpires but was rebuffed, he said. "They didn't want to hear it. They said it was their decision," he said. That's when Butler pressed his point. As the umpires huddled, Butler came back out, this time carrying a copy of the local radar map. "It got kind of heated and they told me I was interfering with their meeting," Butler said. "That's when they told me to leave." Butler exited, and moments later the field was covered before another pitch was thrown. The game never resumed, and Butler spent awhile tending to his field. BlueClaws public relations director Neil Solondz said he checked with the Hall of Fame, which found records of several unusual ejections, though none involved a groundskeeper. "A few years from now, I'm sure a lot of people won't believe it," Butler said. When Butler returned to the park Saturday, he naturally got razzed by members of the BlueClaws front office. Some of them playfully asked whether he was banned from a staff meeting. Lakewood general manager Geoff Brown backed Butler, saying he wanted to preserve the field. "I guess Bill won't be mowing the lawn for this umpiring crew any time soon," Brown said. Cooney and Cummings were in Salisbury, Md., on Saturday night for a game between Delmarva and Hagerstown. I've heard of chief groundskeepers getting fired for not preparing the field properly, but this is certainly something mew to me. later......

I remember J.R. Richards throwing around 103. I know Nen hit 101 in '97. Koch regularly threw over 100 in Toronto. Heck, Wagner hit 101 in Houston against the Fish. All stadiums have different guns they use, and two different guns can report rather different results on the same pitch. The reason Ryan's pitch is probably listed will more likely have to due with the certification of the equipment used to record it (i.e. a certified, calibrated radar unit.) later..........

Lowell will probably make the trip Funny- I don't see that happening at all. Maybe it's just me but he's been kaka at the plate. I know about his rbi's but in clurch, he's struck out far more than has come through. I think Alex has a shot and Pierre. The reason I think Mike makes the trip is because 3B is not very deep in the NL. I doubt there is any way he gets voted in, but he makes the trip as a backup. later.........

Baseball needs to admit that they are not completely unique in their problems. Revenue sharing and salary caps do work if done correctly. I think that if the revenue sharing plan is good, a minimun cap must be established that is at least 50-60% of the maximum cap. If a team can not live up to that goal, relocation (or even contraction) is essential. MLB put itself in this situation by not allowing relocation for 3 decades, offerring expansion franchizes instead. MLB needs to make sure that all the exsisting teams start out with the same chance in spring training. later.....

1- Series winning team split 2- Team with the most offensive hits Expos 3- Team with the most inning pitched by their starting pitcher Marlins 4- Team with pitchers best batting average-combined- Expos 5- Marlins player with the most hits Pierre 6- Marlins starting pitcher with the most k's Redman 7- Marlins player with the most extra-base hits Lowell 8- Will there be a game won by the Marlins bullpen Yes 9- Number of hits allowed by Zach Day 5 10- Over/Under 32.5 runs total under Tie-Breaker: -for either team- how far was the farthest HR? 452 feet later......

Lowell will probably make the trip, maybe Alex as well. I don't see anyone else going as of right now, but the picture may change as we get closer. I seriously doubt any Marlin will be voted in by the fans, there is just too much obscurity playing in SoFlo. later....... p.s. welcome aboard Fishyguy!