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Will the Real Republicans please stand Up!


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We?re Not in Lake Wobegon Anymore

How did the Party of Lincoln and Liberty transmogrify into the party of Newt Gingrich?s evil spawn and their Etch-A-Sketch president, a dull and rigid man, whose philosophy is a jumble of badly sutured body parts trying to walk?

 

By Garrison Keillor

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Something has gone seriously haywire with the Republican Party. Once, it was

the party of pragmatic Main Street businessmen in steel-rimmed spectacles

who decried profligacy and waste, were devoted to their communities and

supported the sort of prosperity that raises all ships. They were

good-hearted people who vanquished the gnarlier elements of their party, the

paranoid Roosevelt-haters, the flat Earthers and Prohibitionists, the

antipapist antiforeigner element. The genial Eisenhower was their man, a

genuine American hero of D-Day, who made it OK for reasonable people to vote

Republican. He brought the Korean War to a stalemate, produced the

Interstate Highway System, declined to rescue the French colonial army in

Vietnam, and gave us a period of peace and prosperity, in which (oddly)

American arts and letters flourished and higher education burgeoned-and

there was a degree of plain decency in the country. Fifties Republicans were

giants compared to today's. Richard Nixon was the last Republican leader to

feel a Christian obligation toward the poor.

 

In the years between Nixon and Newt Gingrich, the party migrated southward

down the Twisting Trail of Rhetoric and sneered at the idea of public

service and became the Scourge of Liberalism, the Great Crusade Against the

Sixties, the Death Star of Government, a gang of pirates that diverted and

fascinated the media by their sheer chutzpah, such as the misty-eyed

flag-waving of Ronald Reagan who, while George McGovern flew bombers in

World War II, took a pass and made training films in Long Beach. The Nixon

moderate vanished like the passenger pigeon, purged by a legion of angry

white men who rose to power on pure punk politics. "Bipartisanship is

another term of date rape," says Grover Norquist, the Sid Vicious of the

GOP. "I don't want to abolish government. I simply want to reduce it to the

size where I can drag it into the bathroom and drown it in the bathtub." The

boy has Oedipal problems and government is his daddy.

 

The party of Lincoln and Liberty was transmogrified into the party of

hairy-backed swamp developers and corporate shills, faith-based economists,

fundamentalist bullies with Bibles, Christians of convenience, freelance

racists, misanthropic frat boys, shrieking midgets of AM radio, tax cheats,

nihilists in golf pants, brownshirts in pinstripes, sweatshop tycoons,

hacks, fakirs, aggressive dorks, Lamborghini libertarians, people who

believe Neil Armstrong's moonwalk was filmed in Roswell, New Mexico, little

honkers out to diminish the rest of us, Newt's evil spawn and their

Etch-A-Sketch president, a dull and rigid man suspicious of the free flow of

information and of secular institutions, whose philosophy is a jumble of

badly sutured body parts trying to walk. Republicans: The No.1 reason the

rest of the world thinks we're deaf, dumb and dangerous.

 

Rich ironies abound! Lies pop up like toadstools in the forest! Wild swine

crowd round the public trough! Outrageous gerrymandering! Pocket lining on a

massive scale! Paid lobbyists sit in committee rooms and write legislation

to alleviate the suffering of billionaires! Hypocrisies shine like cat turds

in the moonlight! O Mark Twain, where art thou at this hour? Arise and

behold the Gilded Age reincarnated gaudier than ever, upholding great wealth

as the sure sign of Divine Grace.

 

Here in 2004, George W. Bush is running for reelection on a platform of

tragedy-the single greatest failure of national defense in our history, the

attacks of 9/11 in which 19 men with box cutters put this nation into a

tailspin, a failure the details of which the White House fought to keep

secret even as it ran the country into hock up to the hubcaps, thanks to

generous tax cuts for the well-fixed, hoping to lead us into a box canyon of

debt that will render government impotent, even as we engage in a war

against a small country that was undertaken for the president's personal

satisfaction but sold to the American public on the basis of brazen

misinformation, a war whose purpose is to distract us from an enormous

transfer of wealth taking place in this country, flowing upward, and the

deception is working beautifully.

 

The concentration of wealth and power in the hands of the few is the death

knell of democracy. No republic in the history of humanity has survived

this. The election of 2004 will say something about what happens to ours.

The omens are not good.

 

Our beloved land has been fogged with fear-fear, the greatest political

strategy ever. An ominous silence, distant sirens, a drumbeat of whispered

warnings and alarms to keep the public uneasy and silence the opposition.

And in a time of vague fear, you can appoint bullet-brained judges, strip

the bark off the Constitution, eviscerate federal regulatory agencies, bring

public education to a standstill, stupefy the press, lavish gorgeous tax

breaks on the rich.

 

There is a stink drifting through this election year. It isn't the Florida

recount or the Supreme Court decision. No, it's 9/11 that we keep coming

back to. It wasn't the "end of innocence," or a turning point in our

history, or a cosmic occurrence, it was an event, a lapse of security. And

patriotism shouldn't prevent people from asking hard questions of the man

who was purportedly in charge of national security at the time.

 

Whenever I think of those New Yorkers hurrying along Park Place or getting

off the No.1 Broadway local, hustling toward their office on the 90th floor,

the morning paper under their arms, I think of that non-reader George W.

Bush and how he hopes to exploit those people with a little economic uptick,

maybe the capture of Osama, cruise to victory in November and proceed to get

some serious nation-changing done in his second term.

 

This year, as in the past, Republicans will portray us Democrats as

embittered academics, desiccated Unitarians, whacked-out hippies and

communards, people who talk to telephone poles, the party of the Deadheads.

They will wave enormous flags and wow over and over the footage of firemen

in the wreckage of the World Trade Center and bodies being carried out and

they will lie about their economic policies with astonishing enthusiasm.

 

The Union is what needs defending this year. Government of Enron and by

Halliburton and for the Southern Baptists is not the same as what Lincoln

spoke of. This gang of Pithecanthropus Republicanii has humbugged us to

death on terrorism and tax cuts for the comfy and school prayer and flag

burning and claimed the right to know what books we read and to dump their

sewage upstream from the town and clear-cut the forests and gut the IRS and

mark up the constitution on behalf of intolerance and promote the corporate

takeover of the public airwaves and to hell with anybody who opposes them.

 

This is a great country, and it wasn't made so by angry people. We have a

sacred duty to bequeath it to our grandchildren in better shape than however

we found it. We have a long way to go and we're not getting any younger.

 

Dante said that the hottest place in Hell is reserved for those who in time

of crisis remain neutral, so I have spoken my piece, and thank you, dear

reader. It's a beautiful world, rain or shine, and there is more to life

than winning.

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The real question is how did the party of Jefferson, Jackson, FDR, Kennedy, etc. turn into the party of Hillary and Kerry.

 

The democratic party has gone way too far left, and the party fails to realize.

The republican party is just fine, Bush is leading and following the basic principles of the right wing, and just about all republicans are united behind him.

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The real question is how did the party of Jefferson, Jackson, FDR, Kennedy, etc. turn into the party of Hillary and Kerry.

 

The democratic party has gone way too far left, and the party fails to realize.

The republican party is just fine, Bush is leading and following the basic principles of the right wing, and just about all republicans are united behind him.

599814[/snapback]

Your extremely naive.

 

 

The party of Jefferson, Jackson, FDR, and Kennedy is still the same party. I am sorry if being idealists and dreamers hurts your feelings.

 

 

And your even more naive that you think the Republicans are united. They are so close to the splitting point its not even funny. Right now its the neo-nazi, i mean neo-con way or the highway. The Republicans will split unless Dubya is not elected.

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The real question is how did the party of Jefferson, Jackson, FDR, Kennedy, etc. turn into the party of Hillary and Kerry.

 

The democratic party has gone way too far left, and the party fails to realize.

The republican party is just fine, Bush is leading and following the basic principles of the right wing, and just about all republicans are united behind him.

599814[/snapback]

 

You decry the party going to the left and at the same time say it has abandoned FDR principles? :lol Clearly a lesson in US political history is needed. Most of the conservatives on this board hate FDR for being economically left. I suppose you think Clinton and welfare reform was a leftist/socialist proposition.

 

I think if those people you listed could see what conservatives are doing to America today, theyd be appalled. Jackson, the harbinger of popular vote seeing a president activley engaging in a policy of disencouragement of voting because it would hurt him.

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Your extremely naive.

 

 

The party of Jefferson, Jackson, FDR, and Kennedy is still the same party. I am sorry if being idealists and dreamers hurts your feelings.

 

 

And your even more naive that you think the Republicans are united. They are so close to the splitting point its not even funny. Right now its the neo-nazi, i mean neo-con way or the highway. The Republicans will split unless Dubya is not elected.

 

Maybe the Republican is just more diverse than the democratic party. Right now just about everyone in the party, including McCain, is united behind Bush. There are very few republicans who support Kerry.

 

No one is supporting Kerry because they believe the republicans are becoming are too far to the right. :mischief

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Your extremely naive.

 

 

The party of Jefferson, Jackson, FDR, and Kennedy is still the same party. I am sorry if being idealists and dreamers hurts your feelings.

 

 

And your even more naive that you think the Republicans are united. They are so close to the splitting point its not even funny. Right now its the neo-nazi, i mean neo-con way or the highway. The Republicans will split unless Dubya is not elected.

 

Maybe the Republican is just more diverse than the democratic party. The party may split 30 years done the road if the Democratic party falls apart, but right now just about everyone in the party, include McCain, is united behind Bush. There are very few republicans who support Kerry.

 

No one is supporting Kerry because they believe the republicans are becoming are too far to the right. :mischief

599837[/snapback]

 

 

Unity behind Bush has nothing to do with the idealogical divide going on right now in the party. When Dennis Hastert dismisses McCain as irrelevant and McCain has to strike back that the right wing neocons are irresponsible, there are problems there.

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Your extremely naive.

 

 

The party of Jefferson, Jackson, FDR, and Kennedy is still the same party. I am sorry if being idealists and dreamers hurts your feelings.

 

 

And your even more naive that you think the Republicans are united. They are so close to the splitting point its not even funny. Right now its the neo-nazi, i mean neo-con way or the highway. The Republicans will split unless Dubya is not elected.

 

Maybe the Republican is just more diverse than the democratic party. The party may split 30 years done the road if the Democratic party falls apart, but right now just about everyone in the party, include McCain, is united behind Bush. There are very few republicans who support Kerry.

 

No one is supporting Kerry because they believe the republicans are becoming are too far to the right. :mischief

599837[/snapback]

John McCain supports him out of party loyalty. Dumbass, go look at the 2000 election. Bush ruined McCain's reputation. McCain doesn't support Bush in any other way than party loyalty.

 

Go back to Karl Rove hand feeding you alright? When Kerry wins, the world will be a much safer place.

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Your extremely naive.

 

 

The party of Jefferson, Jackson, FDR, and Kennedy is still the same party. I am sorry if being idealists and dreamers hurts your feelings.

 

 

And your even more naive that you think the Republicans are united. They are so close to the splitting point its not even funny. Right now its the neo-nazi, i mean neo-con way or the highway. The Republicans will split unless Dubya is not elected.

 

Maybe the Republican is just more diverse than the democratic party. The party may split 30 years done the road if the Democratic party falls apart, but right now just about everyone in the party, include McCain, is united behind Bush. There are very few republicans who support Kerry.

 

No one is supporting Kerry because they believe the republicans are becoming are too far to the right. :mischief

599837[/snapback]

John McCain supports him out of party loyalty. Dumbass, go look at the 2000 election. Bush ruined McCain's reputation. McCain doesn't support Bush in any other way than party loyalty.

 

Go back to Karl Rove hand feeding you alright? When Kerry wins, the world will be a much safer place.

599841[/snapback]

McCain isn't doing this out of party loyalty. He realizes John Kerry will more unqualified than McGovern.

A party split over some minor issues usually isn't a party in trouble. A party that displays too much hatred and partisanship is always in trouble.

 

BTW, calling people "naive" and "dumbass" shows what a closed-minded left-wing radical you are that people with different political views must be stupid or something.

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Your extremely naive.

 

 

The party of Jefferson, Jackson, FDR, and Kennedy is still the same party. I am sorry if being idealists and dreamers hurts your feelings.

 

 

And your even more naive that you think the Republicans are united. They are so close to the splitting point its not even funny. Right now its the neo-nazi, i mean neo-con way or the highway. The Republicans will split unless Dubya is not elected.

 

There are very few republicans who support Kerry.

 

599837[/snapback]

 

Wrong.

 

I dont think there has ever been more of an overwhelming hatred of a man by his own party before in modern history.

 

check out www.republicansforkerry04.com and www.republicansforkerry.org

 

There are also hundreds...even thousands of articles written by journalists, political activists, republicans and even regular citizens about how the republican party isnt what it used to be, and how despite their political affiliation, they're voting for Kerry.

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A party that displays too much hatred and partisanship is always in trouble.

 

Who is the party that made someone's views into an insult? Rather than addressing liberalism, conservatives engaged in a hate campaign.

599847[/snapback]

Read my sig, it says it all.

599853[/snapback]

:thumbup

 

Regardless of what happens in this election, the left has been reborn via the result of what happens when Republicans have consolidated power, disaster. George Soros and others are starting a new wave of liberalism.

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The real question is how did the party of Jefferson, Jackson, FDR, Kennedy, etc. turn into the party of Hillary and Kerry.

599814[/snapback]

I am bringing this point up again...

 

 

We ARE STILL IDEALISTS AND THINKERS.

 

 

Jefferson dreamed of the unknown, Jackson followed the ideals of the common peoples, FDR took a revolutionary stand in economics, Kennedy dreamed of the moon...

 

 

 

Kerry followed the ideals of ending the Vietnam war. Hillary is an idealist, a strong women.

 

We still dream! Something you conservatives will never get.

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Regardless of what happens in this election, the left has been reborn via the result of what happens when Republicans have consolidated power, disaster. George Soros and others are starting a new wave of liberalism.

 

Laughable. The left was reborn when Clinton won. Ever since, it has been moving further left. The Democrats need a true moderate like Joe Lieberman in 2008 if they want to revive the party. The current movement hasn't revived the left, it's turned it into radicals.

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Regardless of what happens in this election, the left has been reborn via the result of what happens when Republicans have consolidated power, disaster. George Soros and others are starting a new wave of liberalism.

 

Laughable. The left was reborn when Clinton won. Ever since, it has been moving further left. The Democrats need a true moderate like Joe Lieberman in 2008 if they want to revive the party. The current movement hasn't revived the left, it's turned it into radicals.

599883[/snapback]

Radicals on what policy? Please explain the specific stance dems have taken that is radical?

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Regardless of what happens in this election, the left has been reborn via the result of what happens when Republicans have consolidated power, disaster. George Soros and others are starting a new wave of liberalism.

 

Laughable. The left was reborn when Clinton won. Ever since, it has been moving further left. The Democrats need a true moderate like Joe Lieberman in 2008 if they want to revive the party. The current movement hasn't revived the left, it's turned it into radicals.

599883[/snapback]

The Republican party has already reached the point of no return on the right if they don't lose the election.

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The real question is how did the party of Jefferson, Jackson, FDR, Kennedy, etc.? turn into the party of Hillary and Kerry.

599814[/snapback]

I am bringing this point up again...

 

 

We ARE STILL IDEALISTS AND THINKERS.

 

 

Jefferson dreamed of the unknown, Jackson followed the ideals of the common peoples, FDR took a revolutionary stand in economics, Kennedy dreamed of the moon...

 

 

 

Kerry followed the ideals of ending the Vietnam war. Hillary is an idealist, a strong women.

 

We still dream! Something you conservatives will never get.

599880[/snapback]

Please, "dreamers and thinkers" have an optimistic view of the future of our country. Kerry believes the government should fix everything in people's lives.

 

Bush thinks people can thinks for themselves, and spend their own damn money.

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Excuse me... Any comments on the brilliant piece by Garrison? Or are we going to keep on beating the dead horse here. We already know we are divided in this country as we are on this board... Now let's please discuss the issue here. Do you think that the Neocons stand for the original Republican principles? Or do you agree with Garrison that they have bastardized their party???

 

Unless you have been living under a rock there is clearly a rift in the Republican party (the Democratic party is also divided but that is subject of another thread). Let's please drop the infantile attacks and talk once and for all, let's DISCUSS, DISCERN AND HAVE A REAL CONVERSATION HERE... Can we?

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Excuse me... Any comments on the brilliant piece by Garrison? Or are we going to keep on beating the dead horse here. We already know we are divided in this country as we are on this board... Now let's please discuss the issue here. Do you think that the Neocons stand for the original Republican principles? Or do you agree with Garrison that they have bastardized their party???

 

Unless you have been living under a rock there is clearly a rift in the Republican party (the Democratic party is also divided but that is subject of another thread). Let's please drop the infantile attacks and talk once and for all, let's DISCUSS, DISCERN AND HAVE A REAL CONVERSATION HERE... Can we?

599895[/snapback]

Read my sig and you'll get my answer. :thumbup

 

 

The piece was absolutely brilliant, I am sending it to everyone I know.

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Definition of a liberal: An idealist, a dreamer, one who is intelligient. We think therefore we are according to the great mathematician Rene Descartes. We believe in doing the right thing. We'll fight to the teeth and bone to protect our ideals. And if it means a civil war, so be it. We will protect the ideals of the world. We will stop the fear being spread by the neocons. We must end this era of fear and stop the neocons.

We will dream, we will think, put us in jail for not fighting a war we shouldn't be fighting. You can't stop us from having our own thoughts. Never shall you take that away, even if you kill us.

Seriously, you sound like a Palestinian suicide bomber. :lol

 

Perfect example of the left is becoming too radical.

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