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DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

 

40-ish...........................49

 

Adventurous..................Slept with everyone

 

Athletic..........................No tits

 

Average looking.............Ugly

 

Beautiful.......................Pathological liar

 

Contagious Smile..........Does a lot of pills

 

Emotionally Secure.......On medication

 

Feminist........................Fat

 

Free spirit......................Junkie

 

Friendship first..............Former slut

 

Fun.................................Annoying

 

New-Age.......................Body hair in the wrong places

 

Old-fashioned................No BJs

 

Open-minded.................Desperate

 

Outgoing.......................Loud and Embarrassing

 

Passionate.....................Sloppy drunk

 

Professional....................Bitch

 

Voluptuous...................Very Fat

 

Large frame....................Hugely Fat

 

Wants Soul mate............Stalker

 

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

 

1. Yes = No

 

2. No = Yes

 

3. Maybe = No

 

4. We need = I want..

 

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

 

6 We need to talk = You're in trouble

 

7. Sure, go ahead = You better not

 

8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later

 

9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

 

10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

 

MEN'S ENGLISH:

 

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

 

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

 

3. I am tired = I am tired

 

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

 

5. I love you = Let's have sex now

 

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

 

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

 

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

 

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

 

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

 

11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit. = I'm gay

 

How to impress a woman:

 

* Wine her,

 

* Dine her;

 

* Call her,

 

* Hug her,

 

* Support her,

 

* Hold her,

 

* Surprise her,

 

* Compliment her,

 

* Smile at her,

 

* Listen to her,

 

* Laugh with her,

 

* Cry with her,

 

* Romance her,

 

* Encourage her,

 

* Believe in her,

 

* Pray with her,

 

* Pray for her,

 

* Cuddle with her,

 

* Shop with her,

 

* Give her jewelry,

 

* Buy her flowers,

 

* Hold her hand,

 

* Write love letters to her,

 

* Go to the end of the Earth and back again for her.

 

How to impress a man:

 

* Show up naked

 

* Bring popcorn and beer...don't block the TV

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

 

40-ish...........................49

 

Adventurous..................Slept with everyone

 

Athletic..........................No tits

 

Average looking.............Ugly

 

Beautiful.......................Pathological liar

 

Contagious Smile..........Does a lot of pills

 

Emotionally Secure.......On medication

 

Feminist........................Fat

 

Free spirit......................Junkie

 

Friendship first..............Former slut

 

Fun.................................Annoying

 

New-Age.......................Body hair in the wrong places

 

Old-fashioned................No BJs

 

Open-minded.................Desperate

 

Outgoing.......................Loud and Embarrassing

 

Passionate.....................Sloppy drunk

 

Professional....................Bitch

 

Voluptuous...................Very Fat

 

Large frame....................Hugely Fat

 

Wants Soul mate............Stalker

 

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

 

1. Yes = No

 

2. No = Yes

 

3. Maybe = No

 

4. We need = I want..

 

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

 

6 We need to talk = You're in trouble

 

7. Sure, go ahead = You better not

 

8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later

 

9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

 

10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

 

MEN'S ENGLISH:

 

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

 

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

 

3. I am tired = I am tired

 

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

 

5. I love you = Let's have sex now

 

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

 

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

 

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

 

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

 

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

 

11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit. = I'm gay

 

How to impress a woman:

 

* Wine her,

 

* Dine her;

 

* Call her,

 

* Hug her,

 

* Support her,

 

* Hold her,

 

* Surprise her,

 

* Compliment her,

 

* Smile at her,

 

* Listen to her,

 

* Laugh with her,

 

* Cry with her,

 

* Romance her,

 

* Encourage her,

 

* Believe in her,

 

* Pray with her,

 

* Pray for her,

 

* Cuddle with her,

 

* Shop with her,

 

* Give her jewelry,

 

* Buy her flowers,

 

* Hold her hand,

 

* Write love letters to her,

 

* Go to the end of the Earth and back again for her.

 

How to impress a man:

 

* Show up naked

 

* Bring popcorn and beer...don't block the TV

772184[/snapback]

 

 

and they say men are a pain in the ass...

stupid girls lol

How to impress a man:

 

* Show up naked

 

* Bring popcorn and beer...don't block the TV

772184[/snapback]

:notworthy :notworthy :notworthy

:lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol

:thumbup :thumbup :thumbup :thumbup :thumbup :thumbup :thumbup :thumbup :thumbup :thumbup

This might be the best post in MB history

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