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Willy Taveras is awesome


MarlinsLou
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I just want to give public notice to the retiring of Nick Punto as my scapegoat.

 

His .210/.291/.271 (.562) 2007, in over 500 PA at predominantly 3B will sheerly live forever as one of the most incompetent years of baseball ever, but he completely redeemed himself with a more than solid 2008. Nick Punto, I salute you. My offseason residence will be moving from Puntoville this upcoming year. I do this in a buyer's market also. That's how strong my resolve is.

 

 

 

Now that, that is finished. It's in with the new! Goodbye Puntoville, hello beach-front property of Taveras Island! Michael Bourn set the incompetence record in 2008 with a stellar .588 OPS, but I have to go with my boy - Willy "MoF'ing" Taveres - because he brings the 2nd worst OPS, .604, of the year and his other worldly intangibles kick him up a notch. God I love intangibles.

 

He accomplished a feet so amazing in 2008, he is now in the same sentence as Rickey Hendersen. Yes, that Rickey Hendersen. One of the best players ever. Are you ready? No you need more. Lou Brock and Vince Coleman also pulled this trick. So did Maury Wills! Yes, THAT Maury Wills! The same Maury Wills Joe Morgan wants to put in the Hall of Fame, so you know he was good! What did Willy Taveras do that basically Rickey Hendersen and only inhuman other qualified batters could?

 

Willy Taveras, a qualified batter, stole more bases in 2008, than he scored runs. 68-64. Way to run those bases Willy!

 

This is truly an accomplishment Willy. How the F do you manage to do that? Playing in Fing Colorado. With Matt Fing Holliday, Brad Fing Hawpe, Garret Fing Atkins (ok he had a down year), and the rest of the Mile High Bombers blasting bombs and knocking in absurd amount of runs.

 

So here's to you Taveras. Enjoy your year of shame. Just make sure you don't trip on Curt Schilling on your way to second. I'm sure you'll beat the ball to the bag, because god damn. You led baseball in getting to second base in style. I salute you sir! Cheers!

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