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Funny sports-related quotes

Featured Replies

http://home.comcast.net/~dmfriscia/heroes.html

 

I haven't seen anybody around here yet post these, and I thought they were funny, so I figured i'd share this link with you all.

 

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Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson

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on being a role model:

"I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me."?

 

 

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New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers

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when asked about the upcoming season:

"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."?

 

 

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Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins

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"I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,"

upon hearing Joe Jacobi, Matt Millen of the Raiders said:

 

"To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."?

 

 

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Joe Theismann

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"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

 

 

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Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh

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"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."

 

 

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Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach

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"You guys line up alphabetically by height." And "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."

 

 

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Boxing promoter Dan Duva

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on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King:

"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."?

 

 

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Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing

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explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker:

"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."?

 

 

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Shaquille O'Neal

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on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece:

"I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."

on his lack of championships:

 

"I've won at every level, except college and pro."?

 

 

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Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer

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on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota:

"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."?

 

 

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Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager

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on his team's 7-27 record in 1992:

"We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play."?

 

 

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Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player

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explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:

"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."?

 

 

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Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach

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telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn's football dorm had destroyed 20 books:

"But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored in yet."?

 

 

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Jim Finks, New Orleans Saints General Manager

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when asked after a loss what he thought of the refs:

"I'm not allowed to comment on lousy no good officiating."?

 

 

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Alan Kulwicki, stock car racer

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on racing Saturday nights as opposed to Sunday afternoons:

"It's basically the same, just darker."?

 

 

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Lincoln Kennedy, Oakland Raiders tackle

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on his decision not to vote:

"I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot."?

 

 

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Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver

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on his coach, John Jenkins:

"He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."?

 

 

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Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M

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recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D:

"Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."?

 

 

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Oiler coach Bum Phillips

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when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all road trips, Phillips responded:

"Because she is too ugly to kiss good-bye."?

Joe Theismann

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"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

 

He hasn't said anything more intelligent since.

norman einstein? doesnt he play for the Angels? :lol :lol :lol

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Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson

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on being a role model:

"I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me."

 

 

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What the... (copulate, wth?) :blink:

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Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

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on being a role model:

"I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me."?

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What the... :blink:

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Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

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on being a role model:

"I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me."?

 

 

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What the... :blink:

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Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson

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on being a role model:

"I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me."?

 

 

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What the... :blink:

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Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins

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"I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,"

upon hearing Joe Jacobi, Matt Millen of the Raiders said:

 

"To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."?

this is why you have to love the old school raiders :lol

Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh

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"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."

i might know what he's saying in a couple of years

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