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How To Get Out of A Speeding Ticket


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A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?


Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.


Officer: May I see the registration for this vehicle?


Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.


Officer: The car is stolen?


Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.


Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?


Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the lady who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.


Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?


Driver: Yes, sir.


Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:


Captain: Sir, can I see your license?


Driver: Sure. Here it is.


It was valid.


Captain: Who's car is this?


Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.


The driver owned the car.


Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?


Driver: Gun? What gun ?? ...There's no gun in it.


Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.


Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.


Driver: I said what ????


Trunk is opened; no body.


Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.


Driver: Yeah, And I'll bet the lying son-of-a-b*tch told you I was speeding too!

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