cgator

Guns are bad! Guns don't kill people...... ...Postal workers do. :blink: Seriously, I have no problem with gun ownership. The problem is with the responsibility levels exhibited by some of the firearms owners.

Having spent a couple of years working for the old Florida Game and Fresh Water Fish Commission (now the Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission,) This is only the tip of the iceberg in the 'News of the Wierd' for hunting seasons. It is not a great statement on the the intelligence of the local hunting inhabitants of the area, but reading the reports can be a source of amusment.

Don't we have that one already? Yes, and in IPB form (nomicon). :drunks ooops!

George W. Bush lowered taxes so that big corporations, Republicans, and Rush Limbaugh could kill Michael Moore. :shifty

Amazing what a bunch of people with nothing better to do can accomplish. :thumbup

Well boys and girls, this is it. Time to pick the Superbowl XXXVIII Champs. Sunday February 1, 2004 Carolina Panthers vs. New England Patriots 6:30 p.m. Reliant Stadium (Houston) Good Luck!!

If you notice anything else, just let me know. I'm listed as a mod...... obviously another error :shifty

Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this one. It appears to affect those who were born prior to 1950. Symptoms: 1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice. 2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail. 3. Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong person. 4. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you. 5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment. 6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished. 7. Causes you to hit "DELETE" instead of "SEND." 8. Causes you to hit "SEND" when you should "DELETE." IT IS CALLED THE "C-NILE VIRUS."

(Note: The following is a true story) Sometimes it DOES take a Rocket Scientist!! Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically designed to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The goal was to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields. British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers. When the gun was fired, the engineers stood in shock as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's back-rest in two, and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow. The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield, and begged the American scientists for suggestions. NASA responded with a one-line memo: "Defrost the chicken first!"

BTW Current running totals for both postseason games can be found HERE. Later......

Confidence Point Standings realflava23 21 DaGreatOne 21 Phlub 21 Beinfest4Prez 20 Admin 18 Dante_evil 18 Heckeroo 17 Mr. Bandwagon16 Wild Card 13 oheeoh...magglio 13 GiantsIn04 12 Big Hugg 10 FishFan33 10 FurmanGator 9 ChiSox Man 9 Joe 8 Maxx 8 Capefish 8 JMLinkinPark 6 Tron 5 83Gator 5 Das Texan 5 As of 2/02/04 Weekly Prediction Standings SuperAngels 9-2 realflava23 8-3 oheeoh...magglio 8-3 Marlins Phenom 8-3 Beinfest4Prez 8-1 MasterChief 7-4 DaGreatOne 7-4 Dante_evil 7-4 Heckeroo 7-4 Big Hugg 7-3 FishFan33 7-3 ChiSox Man 6-5 Admin 6-5 Mr. Bandwagon 6-5 Tron 6-5 Wild Card 6-2 Phlub 6-2 Maxx 5-6 Das Texan 5-6 alkazoid 5-2 JMLinkinPark 3-6 RippyO 3-3 FutureGM 3-2 GiantsIn04 3-1 Juanky 2-5 Joe 2-2 ComebacKids04 1-5 Ramp 1-3 fishfan25 1-2 minus 1-1 Rune 1-0 nufced 1-0 LCastillo 0-1 As of 2/02/04

After his death, Osama bin Laden went to paradise. He was greeted by George Washington, who slapped him across the face and yelled, "How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" Patrick Henry punched him in the nose and shouted, "You wanted to end America's liberty, but you failed." James Madison appeared, kicked him, and said, "This is why I allowed the government to provide for the common defense." Bin Laden was subjected to similar beatings from James Randolph, James Monroe, Thomas Jefferson and 66 other early Americans. As he writhed in pain on the ground, an angel appeared. Bin Laden said, " This was not what I was promised." The angel replied, " I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you. What did you think I said?"

We're almost there..... Sunday, Jan. 18 Indianapolis at New England, 3:00 pm on CBS Carolina at Philadelphia, 6:45 pm on FOX Good Luck!!

This week only two of you were able to pick all four games correctly: SuperAngels Beinfest4Prez. Beinfest4Prez is the only one to go 4-0 for each of the first 2 weeks of the playoffs....so guess who is in the lead so far

Yep, stupidity is king. Its the end of the world as we know it. link The Sagers contend Wal-Mart was at fault for her injuries. The store, they claim, failed to properly instruct and train its employees to correctly bag products, negligently provided a defective bag, recklessly overpacked the bag by placing in it too many heavy items, failed to double- or triple-bag the purchases, and placed Brenda Sager in a "position of peril." She is seeking damages in excess of $30,000. Her husband also is seeking that amount in damages, claiming that as a result of his wife's injuries he has been deprived of her attention and comfort and suffered a loss of consortium. In their lawsuit, the Sagers said Wal-Mart should have made sure their bag didn't break. :banghead

Q: Why aren't blondes allowed to be pharmacists? A: Because they keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriter.

A husband and wife are on a road trip. They decide to stop at a hotel. They take a room and when they check out, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350. The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth $350. When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the manager. The manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use. "But we didn't use them," the man complains. "Well, they are here, and you could have," explains the manager. He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. "But we didn't go to any of those shows," complains the man. "Well, we have them, and you could have," the manager replies. No matter what facility the manager mentions, the man replies, "But we didn't use it!" The manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it to the manager. The manager is surprised when he looks at the check. "But, sir," he says, "this check is only made out for $100." "That's right," says the man. "I charged you $250 for sleeping with my wife." "But I didn't!" exclaims the manager. "Well," the man replies, "she was here, and you could have."

So a guy and his wife arrives from a business trip and goes to his favorite steakhouse unaware of the mad cow outbreak in his town. The waiter sits them and says, "Our special today is duck or shrimp." The man replies, "I want a T-bone steak medium well." The waiter a bit miffed continues, "What about the mad cow?" The man looks at the waiter and says, "She can order for herself."

Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two women and take them to their separate hotel rooms. The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection. His depression is made worse by the fact that, from the next room, he hears his little friend shouting out cries of "Here I come again! One, two, three, uh," all night long. In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, "How did it go?" The first mutters, "It was so embarrassing. I simply couldn't get an erection." The second dwarf shook his head. "You think that's embarrassing? I couldn't even get on the bed."

An American tourist went into a restaurant in a Spanish provincial city for dinner, and asked to be served the specialty of the house. When the dish arrived, he asked what kind of meat it contained. "Se?or, these are the cojones," the waiter replied. "The what?" the tourist exclaimed. "They are the testicles of the bull killed in the ring today," said the waiter. The tourist gulped, but tasted the dish anyway. He found it delicious. Returning the following evening, he asked for the same dish. After he finished, the tourist commented to the waiter, "Today's cojones are much saltier and smaller than the ones I had yesterday." "True, se?or," agreed the waiter. "You see, the bull, he does not always lose."

Looks as though 5 of you picked them just right: FishFan33 Maxx Big Hugg Beinfest4Prez Marlins Phenom Nice job! Now on to week 2.

Divisional Playoffs Saturday, Jan. 10 Carolina at St. Louis, 4:30 pm (FOX) Tennessee at New England, 8:15 pm (CBS) Sunday, Jan. 11 Indianapolis at Kansas City, 1:00 pm (CBS) Green Bay at Philadelphia, 4:45 pm (FOX) Good Luck!!

*and Das is still the oldest member of the boards. Not quite.... I'm 99.

HRs

Dad --> Papa --> Pop Mom --> Mama --> ?? sounds like George Carlin to me Either him or Gallagher, they both like to point out the 'abnormalities' within the language.