Jump to content


Advice on a wrong i committed


Guest FishFanInPA
 Share

Recommended Posts

Guest FishFanInPA

I need help....I no-showed at my friend Kelly's wedding this weekend in Philadelphia. I RSVP'd a long time ago and actually cleared the whole weekend until Monday at work.

 

Problem was this weekend hit and i just had no motivation to go. Didnt want to deal with the traffic on 95...didnt want to deal with going to a wedding of a girl i had the hots for but only saw me as a friend....didnt want to support her ass of a husband....I packed and everything and just couldn't get in the car....

 

I don't know what to do because i fear she may not talk to me again...Problem is it would mean 1000x more to me that she be at my wedding, if i ever have one....then me be at hers. Her friends don't know me and her family basically doesnt either.....So what should i do to try and smooth things over???

 

I feel absolutely awful that i couldn't go and i'm a bad person for it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think the best thing to do would be to contact her and apologize for not going. Tell her that you were just to wore out to make that drive (and I don't blame you, I hate that drive to Philly on 95) but leave out the part about you being somewhat jealous. Tell her you're sorry and that you wish you would have gone.

 

 

Problem is it would mean 1000x more to me that she be at my wedding, if i ever have one....then me be at hers.

 

And that's a pretty selfish thing to say, dude.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree with dodge - that one line is very selfish - if her friendship and support is that important to you, then you may of wanted to take more time to think about what your friendship meant to her

 

when I got married I had a pair of friends come out for it from philly - they were supposed to get in thursday and fly out sunday morning early - both missing two days of work - they got delayed in chicago and had to sleep in the airport - getting in just in time for the wedding - i barely got to see them, but was so honored that they would endure the trip just to take part in my day

 

i think what you need to do first is evaluate what this friendship means to you, why you are hanging onto it and if you could ever be comfortable with her jackass husband (who will no doubt be her date at your wedding -if/when that time comes)

 

and normally i'm a big honesty guy, but it would probably work against you in this case - say that you had car problems and didn't want to call with a burden so close to her wedding date

 

mail the gift (a nice one, remembering that she paid for a meal, booze, favor, etc that you never used - two if your RSVPd with a guest) from your local post office, as if it was already purchased and you were driving it up

 

then apologize, saying that you should of called anyway and you're sorry for being rude and hope you can meet up at some point to look at the photos/dvd so you can at least get a feel for what her day was all about

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'd call and try to smooth things over with an excuse. Send a wedding gift as well.

 

Bingo.

 

Honesty will absolutely destroy you here.

 

Make something up, e.g., car trouble. Put some time into conjuring up your excuse and making it believable. And like PhxPhin said, when you call her, make sure you mention to her why you couldn't let her know in advance that you wouldn't be able to make it. When you're apologizing to her, sound sincere when you tell her you wanted to go and you're upset you couldn't make it.

 

Also, If you really want her to come to your wedding, make sure you spend a lot of money on her (their) gift and make it memorable.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The real point is that you ultimately had no motivation to go. If you really wanted to go, the drive, and everything else wouldn't have mattered. You just simply lost interest and were probably a little embarrassed to go because you did have the hots for her and you didn't know how you would handle being at the wedding.

 

I would send a very expensive gift- yes, she probably plunked down at least $100 on your spot between the meal and the liquor, and send a card expressing that you are very sorry you weren't able to go- leave it at that- don't go into details- you're just gonna stir up more sh*t. Then, say that as soon as she's able, you'd love to get together and see the pics/video.

 

And leave it at that. The more you elaborate, the deeper in sh*t you will get yourself.

 

 

Face it, all of a sudden, you felt ambivalent and you didn't want to go. Now, you are apologizing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I found her registry.....i'm gonna get her like 4 things from it.

 

 

 

 

I actually did almost the exact same thing as you once.

 

 

 

I had just gotten out of a relationship and I didnt feel like going all the way to NY for a female friends wedding. I didnt do a no show like you did but I called and said I wasnt going like 2 days before the wedding.

 

I just didnt feel like being in a social setting for a whole weekend with a bunch of people I didnt know.

 

 

 

I sent them a check for $100 and she never spoke to me again.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Juanky

I actually did almost the exact same thing as you once.

 

 

 

I had just gotten out of a relationship and I didnt feel like going all the way to NY for a female friends wedding. I didnt do a no show like you did but I called and said I wasnt going like 2 days before the wedding.

 

I just didnt feel like being in a social setting for a whole weekend with a bunch of people I didnt know.

 

 

 

I sent them a check for $100 and she never spoke to me again.

Damn, that sucks. Just think of it this way, you won't need many female friends when you're already married!

 

As far as ffipa, just get the presents and try to word the apology correctly. As yenta said, don't get too into details - it'll be easier to become caught in your own story.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...