Skip to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

MarlinsBaseball.com

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Jewish Genie

Featured Replies

An Arab had spent many days crossing the desert without finding a

source of water. It got so bad that his camel died of thirst. He crawled

through the sands, certain that he was breathing his last breath, when

suddenly, he saw a shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of

him.

>

> He crawled to the object, pulled it out of the sand, and discovered

that he had a Manischewitz wine bottle. It appeared that there may be a drop

or two left in the bottle, so he unscrewed the top, and out popped a genie

.

> BUT this was no ordinary genie. This genie appeared to be a Chasidic

> Rabbi, complete with black alpaca coat, black hat, side curls, and

> tzitzies.

>

> "Vell kid," said the genie, "you know how it voiks. You got three

vishes."

>

> "I'm not going to trust you,' says the Arab. "I'm not going to trust a

> Jewish genie!"

>

> "Vott'ya you got to lose? Looks ta me - you're a gonner anyvay!"

>

> The Arab thought about this for a minute, and decided that the genie

was right. "Okay, I wish I were in a lush oasis, with plentiful food and

> drink."

>

> ** * * * * * * P O O F * * * * * * * * *

>

> The Arab found himself in the most beautiful oasis he had ever seen and

he was surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.

>

> "Okee-dokee kiddo, vat's your second vish?"

>

> "My second wish is that I were rich beyond my wildest dreams."

>

> ** * * * * * P O O F * * * * * * * * *

>

> The Arab found himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare

old coins and precious gems.

>

> "Okay kid, you got just vone more vish. Better you should make it a

good vone!"

>

> After thinking for a few minutes, the Arab says, "I wish that no matter

> where I go, beautiful women will always need and want me !"

>

> ** * * * * * * * P O O F * * * * * *

>

> The Arab was turned into a tampon.

>

> THE MORAL OF THE STORY:

>

> If you're an Arab doing business with a Jewish genie, there's gonna be

a string attached.

lol. That was wrong on so many levels.

  • 2 weeks later...

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

Account

Navigation

Search

Search

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.