Jorge Cantu has been a big surprise with his bat early in the year. He has also been a major disappointment in a way as well. Jorge Cantu's fielding has been inconsistent and sometimes he struggles to make the common throw to first. Some might say this has to do with position movement but I think otherwise. Cantu was a second baseman in 2006 with the then Tampa Bay Devil Rays. In that same year, Cantu had 13 errors in 898 innings or roughly 100 full games.

 

But it has always seemed to be third base that has treated his glove poorly. Please note that this year isn't the first year that Cantu has played third base in the majors. In 2004, Cantu began to play 3b for 11 games, but started to play the position more in 2005, when he had 12 errors in just 496 innings, or roughly 55 full games. So this years major struggles for Cantu can't be blamed on trying to learn a new position.

 

In Cantu's 218 games at 3b, he has 24 errors. Now, to some that might not seem that bad, but that is only in 954 innings, or roughly 106 full 9 inning games. Last year, that would be second most behind Ryan Braun among third baseman and the bad fielding by Braun has forced the Brewers to switch his position to left field.

 

 

We all know that Cantu is not the long term answer at third base. But is he even the answer at third base for the rest of this year?

 

 

Let's look at the major candidate to replace him shall need be. Dallas McPherson, the former Angels top prospect who is currently destroying the ball in the hitters friendly Pacific Coast League, could be the player to sure up the fielding woes for the Marlins at 3b.

 

 

McPherson, through 30 games at AAA Albuquerque, has made 3 errors. He also has a much better fielding percentage. McPherson has a .959 fielding percentage to Cantu's .917. McPherson certainly isn't to shabby with the bat either. As of the game through yesterday, McPherson is batting .297 with 15 home runs and 35 rbi's. But the only real negative on McPherson's season so far has been his strikeout numbers. He has 58 k's so far this year.

 

McPherson might be struggling with his strikeouts, but will there be a point in August, or maybe even sooner, where the strikeout numbers don't seem as bad as the number of errors that Cantu has made. Only time will tell what will happen at third base.

can some one actually leave me some feedback or tell me if you liked it or not

Cantu is not a big suprise with his bat. He is exactly what one could expect based upon earlier performance. Personally I think the Marlins won't call Dallas up until after we can safely put Amezega on the bench and Andino in the minors.

Alright, I'll give you feedback... but do you want complete feedback? Like, everything?

i know but i wa bored, so how was the article. was it good for an 8th grader

Alright, I'll give you feedback... but do you want complete feedback? Like, everything?

ya complete

Alright, lemme start by saying that I'm gonna be kind of tedious, but I figure that if you took the time to write this, you have a solid interest in it.

 

Jorge Cantu has been a big surprise with his bat early in the year. He has also been a major disappointment in a way as well. Jorge Cantu's fielding has been inconsistent and sometimes he struggles to make the common throw to first. Some might say this has to do with position movement but I think otherwise. Cantu was a second baseman in 2006 with the then Tampa Bay Devil Rays. In that same year, Cantu had 13 errors in 898 innings or roughly 100 full games.

 

 

Alright, first things first, you don't need to say "in a way as well" we know you're gonna tell us a way... secondly (and I'm backtracking here) Cantu has played roughly in-line with his career numbers... go to www.baseball-reference.com to verify this... Otherwise pretty solid opening...

 

But it has always seemed to be third base that has treated his glove poorly. Please note that this year isn't the first year that Cantu has played third base in the majors. In 2004, Cantu began to play 3b for 11 games, but started to play the position more in 2005, when he had 12 errors in just 496 innings, or roughly 55 full games. So this years major struggles for Cantu can't be blamed on trying to learn a new position.

 

 

Good first line, doesn't flow with where you left off the previous paragraph though, because you're saying he was somewhat poor at 2B too, so it may be better to say something like... "Third base, though, has always seemed to treat his glove poorly too." or something like that. You don't have to say "Please note" because if the reader is reading, they're probably gonna "note it" anyways... you can pretty much just take out "Please note that" and combine that sentence with the next one. Also, nitpicking here but "year's" 's shows possession... those stats "belong to" this year. Otherwise not so bad.

 

In Cantu's 218 games at 3b, he has 24 errors. Now, to some that might not seem that bad, but that is only in 954 innings, or roughly 106 full 9 inning games. Last year, that would be second most behind Ryan Braun among third baseman and the bad fielding by Braun has forced the Brewers to switch his position to left field.

 

 

We all know that Cantu is not the long term answer at third base. But is he even the answer at third base for the rest of this year?

 

 

Let's look at the major candidate to replace him shall need be. Dallas McPherson, the former Angels top prospect who is currently destroying the ball in the hitters friendly Pacific Coast League, could be the player to sure up the fielding woes for the Marlins at 3b.

 

Nah, it seems bad to everyone... 24 is a lot of errors, especially in less than a full season... Also, that sentence is very misleading, because you are saying that he has 24 errors in 218 games... then going to 954 innings, then back to games again... I see what you're doing there, and it's kind of interesting, but try to re-write that.

 

You don't need to say "Let's look at... etc" You showed in the previous sentence there are other options, hit us with them! "Shore up" is the term you meant by "sure up" I don't know why so many people say "sure up"... Now I dunno why you separated that previous line from the following line, but they should be in one paragraph...

 

McPherson, through 30 games at AAA Albuquerque, has made 3 errors. He also has a much better fielding percentage. McPherson has a .959 fielding percentage to Cantu's .917. McPherson certainly isn't to shabby with the bat either. As of the game through yesterday, McPherson is batting .297 with 15 home runs and 35 rbi's. But the only real negative on McPherson's season so far has been his strikeout numbers. He has 58 k's so far this year.

 

McPherson might be struggling with his strikeouts, but will there be a point in August, or maybe even sooner, where the strikeout numbers don't seem as bad as the number of errors that Cantu has made. Only time will tell what will happen at third base.

 

You can omit that bolded line... because you tell us that in the next sentence anyways... Now once you start talking about his hitting it could become a new paragraph, but considering you didn't write a whole lot there, it's probably better off as is... You don't need the bolded "but" there...

 

And the closing is fine

Alright, lemme start by saying that I'm gonna be kind of tedious, but I figure that if you took the time to write this, you have a solid interest in it.

 

Jorge Cantu has been a big surprise with his bat early in the year. He has also been a major disappointment in a way as well. Jorge Cantu's fielding has been inconsistent and sometimes he struggles to make the common throw to first. Some might say this has to do with position movement but I think otherwise. Cantu was a second baseman in 2006 with the then Tampa Bay Devil Rays. In that same year, Cantu had 13 errors in 898 innings or roughly 100 full games.

 

 

Alright, first things first, you don't need to say "in a way as well" we know you're gonna tell us a way... secondly (and I'm backtracking here) Cantu has played roughly in-line with his career numbers... go to www.baseball-reference.com to verify this... Otherwise pretty solid opening...

 

But it has always seemed to be third base that has treated his glove poorly. Please note that this year isn't the first year that Cantu has played third base in the majors. In 2004, Cantu began to play 3b for 11 games, but started to play the position more in 2005, when he had 12 errors in just 496 innings, or roughly 55 full games. So this years major struggles for Cantu can't be blamed on trying to learn a new position.

 

 

Good first line, doesn't flow with where you left off the previous paragraph though, because you're saying he was somewhat poor at 2B too, so it may be better to say something like... "Third base, though, has always seemed to treat his glove poorly too." or something like that. You don't have to say "Please note" because if the reader is reading, they're probably gonna "note it" anyways... you can pretty much just take out "Please note that" and combine that sentence with the next one. Also, nitpicking here but "year's" 's shows possession... those stats "belong to" this year. Otherwise not so bad.

 

In Cantu's 218 games at 3b, he has 24 errors. Now, to some that might not seem that bad, but that is only in 954 innings, or roughly 106 full 9 inning games. Last year, that would be second most behind Ryan Braun among third baseman and the bad fielding by Braun has forced the Brewers to switch his position to left field.

 

 

We all know that Cantu is not the long term answer at third base. But is he even the answer at third base for the rest of this year?

 

 

Let's look at the major candidate to replace him shall need be. Dallas McPherson, the former Angels top prospect who is currently destroying the ball in the hitters friendly Pacific Coast League, could be the player to sure up the fielding woes for the Marlins at 3b.

 

Nah, it seems bad to everyone... 24 is a lot of errors, especially in less than a full season... Also, that sentence is very misleading, because you are saying that he has 24 errors in 218 games... then going to 954 innings, then back to games again... I see what you're doing there, and it's kind of interesting, but try to re-write that.

 

You don't need to say "Let's look at... etc" You showed in the previous sentence there are other options, hit us with them! "Shore up" is the term you meant by "sure up" I don't know why so many people say "sure up"... Now I dunno why you separated that previous line from the following line, but they should be in one paragraph...

 

McPherson, through 30 games at AAA Albuquerque, has made 3 errors. He also has a much better fielding percentage. McPherson has a .959 fielding percentage to Cantu's .917. McPherson certainly isn't to shabby with the bat either. As of the game through yesterday, McPherson is batting .297 with 15 home runs and 35 rbi's. But the only real negative on McPherson's season so far has been his strikeout numbers. He has 58 k's so far this year.

 

McPherson might be struggling with his strikeouts, but will there be a point in August, or maybe even sooner, where the strikeout numbers don't seem as bad as the number of errors that Cantu has made. Only time will tell what will happen at third base.

 

You can omit that bolded line... because you tell us that in the next sentence anyways... Now once you start talking about his hitting it could become a new paragraph, but considering you didn't write a whole lot there, it's probably better off as is... You don't need the bolded "but" there...

 

And the closing is fine

 

 

so overall what grade would you give it. especially since im 14 and im in 8th grade

Honestly, I'd give it about a C... it was short, didn't go into great detail, had those little mistakes peppered here and there... Didn't really impress me a ton...

 

Also, I forgot, take out that "shall need be"...

 

Now if you want to improve... go into detail on every point you make... here is the "recipe" for great writing

 

Thesis - The idea you're presenting

Why you think your thesis is right, without saying "I think" or anything like that

Support - Facts that support your opinions

Wrap it up - conclude the paragraph and/or transition to the next one

btw, you arent supposed to take a couple of those things out,some of them is just to make it flow bettet

btw, you arent supposed to take a couple of those things out,some of them is just to make it flow bettet

 

Teach me writing :thumbup

no disrespect. but would this sound good- McPherson, through 30 games at AAA Albuquerque, has made 3 errors. McPherson has a .959 fielding percentage to Cantu's .917.

 

that just doesnt flow

 

and the- Now, to some that might not seem that bad.

 

you are supposed to show other views as well as you own and i said that becuase 218 game is like a season plus another 50 games.

 

other than that that is right

btw, you arent supposed to take a couple of those things out,some of them is just to make it flow bettet

 

Teach me writing :thumbup

sorry, I actually lol'ed here.

no disrespect. but would this sound good- McPherson, through 30 games at AAA Albuquerque, has made 3 errors. McPherson has a .959 fielding percentage to Cantu's .917.

 

that just doesnt flow

 

I also didn't say you couldn't word it otherwise, and also, that second sentence falls into my "go into greater detail" category... he has a .959 fielding percentage, is that an increase or decrease to his career average... were they throwing errors or fielding errors... were they earlier in the season? Has he been getting better? ... flow is relative to what you're writing

 

and the- Now, to some that might not seem that bad.

 

you are supposed to show other views as well as you own and i said that becuase 218 game is like a season plus another 50 games.

 

other than that that is right

 

You can present opposing views without "acknowledging" them... For example... Cantu battled it out in spring training against a more defensive player in Jose Castillo and showed he could play 3B as well as he could, leading many to think his glove would be better...

btw, you arent supposed to take a couple of those things out,some of them is just to make it flow bettet

 

Teach me writing :thumbup

This is not even fair, it's a 14 year old kid vs someone studying to be an English teacher.

By the way, as an 8th (and 6th and 7th and 9th) grade English teacher, I agree with everything PWG has said thus far. Look to eliminate redundancy in writing and learn the beauty of conciseness. Believe me, avoiding extra sentences is much more important than the "flow".

By the way, as an 8th (and 6th and 7th and 9th) grade English teacher, I agree with everything PWG has said thus far. Look to eliminate redundancy in writing and learn the beauty of conciseness. Believe me, avoiding extra sentences is much more important than the "flow".

 

That's a good sign for me... that's what I want to be, a 9th/10th grade English teacher though, preferably writing, or creative writing

I was wondering why pwg sounded exactly like my AP English teacher...going to have to watch my ass around here as well. :blink:

 

As for the kid who wrote the article, I suggest you listen and take in all of his criticism while its still free. Picked up a few pointers myself, as a matter of fact.

ok. btw i wasnt trying to sayyou are wrong i was just saying that i thought that was right even after he corrected it and why i thought so.

I was wondering why pwg sounded exactly like my AP English teacher...going to have to watch my ass around here as well. :blink:

 

As for the kid who wrote the article, I suggest you listen and take in all of his criticism while its still free. Picked up a few pointers myself, as a matter of fact.

 

Flattery will get you everywhere :thumbup

 

Also, I try not to nitpick the messageboard :lol

 

That's why I specifically asked him

Maybe add in a nice opening hook. Helps make the article a bit more luring and interesting. In your first paragraph you're already giving off stats. Not necessarily a bad thing, but I've always been taught to WRANGLE IN THEM READERS with the first few sentences.

 

I thought the article was fine.

I was wondering why pwg sounded exactly like my AP English teacher...going to have to watch my ass around here as well. :blink:

 

As for the kid who wrote the article, I suggest you listen and take in all of his criticism while its still free. Picked up a few pointers myself, as a matter of fact.

 

Flattery will get you everywhere :thumbup

 

Also, I try not to nitpick the messageboard :lol

 

That's why I specifically asked him

 

In all honesty, I learned more about writing a successful essay today then I did in about 5 hours of Ms. Davis's class. In her defense, my face usually hits the desk the second she mentions the words "literary analysis". Your pointers actually caught me off gaurd so I must have accidently paid attention...

Why is ripping on Cantu the 'in' thing right now? Sure, his defense isn't very good but let's not forget that Hanley 'Mr. Marlin III' Ramirez is arguably the worst defensive shortstop in the National League.

Why is ripping on Cantu the 'in' thing right now? Sure, his defense isn't very good but let's not forget that Hanley 'Mr. Marlin III' Ramirez is arguably the worst defensive shortstop in the National League.

Who was Mr. Marlins II?

Castillo