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I got this from another Message Board I belong to :)

 

1.Men are like ........Laxatives ...... They irritate the crap out of you.

 

2.Men are like ........ Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm they are.

 

 

3.Men are like ........ Weather ..... Nothing can be done to change them..

 

4.Men are like ........ Blenders ..... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

 

5.Men are like ....... Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, &they usually head right for your hips.

 

6.Men are like ....... Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.

 

7.Men are like ........ Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

 

8.Men are like ........ Government Bonds ..... They take soooooooo long to mature.

 

9.Men are like ....... Mascara ...... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

 

10.Men are like ....... Popcorn . ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

 

11.Men are like . ... Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming,

how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

 

12.Men are like ........ Lava Lamps ..... Fun to look at, but not very bright.

 

13.Men are like ........ Parking Spots ....... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

 

 

 

 

:dancing

I thought this was funny...

757918[/snapback]

:plain

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ah yes, and as for the jokes: :plain

1.Men are like ........Laxatives ...... They irritate the crap out of you.

Women are like big fish, you struggle trying to catch them for a long time, and when you do you end up throwing them back anyways

 

2.Men are like ........ Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm they are.

Women are like the Oakland A's, they don't start playing everyday until the second half of their lives

 

3.Men are like ........ Weather ..... Nothing can be done to change them..

Women are like thunderstorms, they hit you everyday with the same garbage

 

4.Men are like ........ Blenders ..... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

Women are like leeches, because you pay for all their expenses and they still find a reason to complain about it

 

5.Men are like ....... Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, &they usually head right for your hips.

Women are like Elvis, their hips are the only thing that's worth it on them

 

6.Men are like ....... Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.

Women are like car commercials, they talk really loudly and never say anything interesting

 

7.Men are like ........ Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

Women are like stadium food, the more you pay, the less they are worth it.

 

8.Men are like ........ Government Bonds ..... They take soooooooo long to mature.

Women are like welfare junkies, they take your money and complain about it while they do it.

 

9.Men are like ....... Mascara ...... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Women are like 5 year old children, they assume we give a f***

 

10.Men are like ....... Popcorn . ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

Women are like Japanese cars, after a few years they don't want to go anymore

 

11.Men are like . ... Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming,

how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

Women are like magazine advertisements, no matter how big they look on the outside, it's always a letdown

 

12.Men are like ........ Lava Lamps ..... Fun to look at, but not very bright.

Women are like Jimmy Carter, they think they make an impact but all they do is suck

 

13.Men are like ........ Parking Spots ....... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

Women are like Cubs fans, good luck finding one that's any good

of course, you all stay quiet cause you know it's true

758261[/snapback]

I was like the only male who found this funny...

1.Men are like ........Laxatives ...... They irritate the crap out of you.

Women are like big fish, you struggle trying to catch them for a long time, and when you do you end up throwing them back anyways

 

2.Men are like ........ Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm they are.

Women are like the Oakland A's, they don't start playing everyday until the second half of their lives

 

3.Men are like ........ Weather ..... Nothing can be done to change them..

Women are like thunderstorms, they hit you everyday with the same garbage

 

4.Men are like ........ Blenders ..... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

Women are like leeches, because you pay for all their expenses and they still find a reason to complain about it

 

5.Men are like ....... Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, &they usually head right for your hips.

Women are like Elvis, their hips are the only thing that's worth it on them

 

6.Men are like ....... Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.

Women are like car commercials, they talk really loudly and never say anything interesting

 

7.Men are like ........ Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

Women are like stadium food, the more you pay, the less they are worth it.

 

8.Men are like ........ Government Bonds ..... They take soooooooo long to mature.

Women are like welfare junkies, they take your money and complain about it while they do it.

 

9.Men are like ....... Mascara ...... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Women are like 5 year old children, they assume we give a f***

 

10.Men are like ....... Popcorn . ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

Women are like Japanese cars, after a few years they don't want to go anymore

 

11.Men are like . ... Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming,

how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

Women are like magazine advertisements, no matter how big they look on the outside, it's always a letdown

 

12.Men are like ........ Lava Lamps ..... Fun to look at, but not very bright.

Women are like Jimmy Carter, they think they make an impact but all they do is suck

 

13.Men are like ........ Parking Spots ....... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

Women are like Cubs fans, good luck finding one that's any good

758256[/snapback]

 

 

 

:notworthy

  • Author

1.Men are like ........Laxatives ...... They irritate the crap out of you.

Women are like big fish, you struggle trying to catch them for a long time, and when you do you end up throwing them back anyways

 

2.Men are like ........ Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm they are.

Women are like the Oakland A's, they don't start playing everyday until the second half of their lives

 

3.Men are like ........ Weather ..... Nothing can be done to change them..

Women are like thunderstorms, they hit you everyday with the same garbage

 

4.Men are like ........ Blenders ..... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

Women are like leeches, because you pay for all their expenses and they still find a reason to complain about it

 

5.Men are like ....... Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, &they usually head right for your hips.

Women are like Elvis, their hips are the only thing that's worth it on them

 

6.Men are like ....... Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.

Women are like car commercials, they talk really loudly and never say anything interesting

 

7.Men are like ........ Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

Women are like stadium food, the more you pay, the less they are worth it.

 

8.Men are like ........ Government Bonds ..... They take soooooooo long to mature.

Women are like welfare junkies, they take your money and complain about it while they do it.

 

9.Men are like ....... Mascara ...... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Women are like 5 year old children, they assume we give a f***

 

10.Men are like ....... Popcorn . ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

Women are like Japanese cars, after a few years they don't want to go anymore

 

11.Men are like . ... Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming,

how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

Women are like magazine advertisements, no matter how big they look on the outside, it's always a letdown

 

12.Men are like ........ Lava Lamps ..... Fun to look at, but not very bright.

Women are like Jimmy Carter, they think they make an impact but all they do is suck

 

13.Men are like ........ Parking Spots ....... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

Women are like Cubs fans, good luck finding one that's any good

758256[/snapback]

i thought maybe 3 of them were funny. The rest were stretching for a laugh....

 

so here's 30% laughter

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