Barry Bonds doesn't take steroids, Chuck Norris put some skin from his foot in Barry's arms.

Chuck Norris died and went to Heaven. When he met God, God said: "I created you because I needed you to control the population of Animals." Norris replied: "I created you."

 

(Lame, I know, but whatever, don't care)

 

i like the idea but how bout god came and said to chuck norris " i created you to ...pop animals" Chuck norris then roundhouse kicked God in the face and said no i created you

Chuck Norris died and went to Heaven. When he met God, God said: "I created you because I needed you to control the population of Animals." Norris replied: "I created you."

 

(Lame, I know, but whatever, don't care)

 

i like the idea but how bout god came and said to chuck norris " i created you to ...pop animals" Chuck norris then roundhouse kicked God in the face and said no i created you

yeah that does sounds better

Chuck Norris can speak Braille.

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris is unable to send his roundhouse kicks across the fabric of time, however he IS able to perform this action across parallel dimensions and once, just for fun, roundhouse kicked his own butt.

 

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris did not learn martial arts. He merely rediscovered the ancient, forgotten art of Chuck Norris.

 

God created heaven and earth, he then created man. Man overpopulated the earth, so, God created Chuck Norris.

 

The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.

That last one was good.

chuck norris uses hot sauce for eydrops.

 

chuck norris can watch the show 60 minutes in 22 seconds.

 

if you can spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble then you win FOREVER.

I just made this one up today:

 

A husband once brought his wife to see a Chuck Norris movie. During the movie, she threw a fit, saying it was not her idea of a romantic evening. Chuck Norris then jumped out of the screen and round-house kicked her in the face. They now watch "Walker: Texas Ranger" every evening at 7.

^ that one pwns

Saddam came out when he heard Chuck was looking for him.

When Chuck hears about Marlinsbaseball.com he will demand that Admin change the name....... Admin will comply......gladly.

Cars look both ways before crossing Chuck Norris' path

Chuck Norris went to The Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

 

Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

Saddam came out when he heard Chuck was looking for him.

When Chuck hears about Marlinsbaseball.com he will demand that Admin change the name....... Admin will comply......gladly.

 

 

lol

Ok these might not be too good since I tryed making my own:

 

Chuck Norris does not walk around buildings, buildings walk around Chuck Norris.

 

 

Chuck Norris occasionally goes for a walk in a dress so he can round house kick anyone who talks about or even stares at him funny.

 

Chuck Norris once took his team too the SuperBowl by making a game winning three pointer at Wrigley Field

i like that Chuck in wrigley nice job

There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.

 

 

.....

 

 

 

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

 

 

 

The second one is the best.