This is a post I found on another set of message boards. I just feel really really bad for the guy. I mean, what horrible horrible luck.

 

First thing happened last week.

 

I was at my grandfathers funeral, very sad. Anyways, I had been there for like 4 hours, for the wake, the mass, then finally the burial. I was getting bored, and I was tired. Right before they lowered my grandfather, everyone was supposed to go up to say something to him. Me and my brother went up first. When we get up there, I noticed the weirdest thing. He had a huge boner. I mean, it was raging. Big ol tent pole in his slacks. So I say to my brother, kinda loud cause noone was within like 30 feet, "Man, he has a big Boner!, I didn't know you could get one of those when you were dead!" Turns out the stupid undertaker guy had left the microphone for the eugology on, and everyone easily heard it. My grandma broke down into a fit of tears, as did most of my elderly family.

 

Then, this is today:

 

I was in my room wanking it to some hot lesbian sex. I had just passed the point of no return, when I heard the doorknob start to turn (the lock doesnt work). I was faced with a hard decision; I could

 

A. Put away my Wang and let whoever was coming in see the lesbian porn.

 

B. Switch the porn off and risk having my wang out.

 

I was so torn between these two options that I hadnt done anything when the door opened, and my grandma walked in. I was there, wang still in hand, and hot lesbos on the monitor, and she looked right at me. Then, things became 10X worse. I suddenly spewed, and gobs of jiz erupted all over my chest, not to mention my chin, and the desk. She kinda squeaked, and walked out.

 

5 mins later, she came in, and said how she knows that its perfectly natural and that she wasn't upset with me. When she was walking out I could swear there was a tear in her eye.

 

What should i do?

:lol :lol :lol :lol

:lol

:lol i hope this isnt for real.

Bradcore...you can be honest....this "person from a message board" is really you isn't it :plain

Bradcore...you can be honest....this "person from a message board" is really you isn't it

 

Would you like me to find the link?

just joshin

Yeah, that's what I thought.

damn :lol :lol :lol

UGH, I shouldnt have posted that :banghead

:lol man that's hilarious

Wait a minute. When you bury someone, isn't the casket supposed to be closed? If so, then how does he know his grandfather had a boner? Hmmm...

Bradcore...you can be honest....this "person from a message board" is really you isn't it

 

Would you like me to find the link?

526373[/snapback]

 

I would.

 

Good lord

Wait a minute. When you bury someone, isn't the casket supposed to be closed? If so, then how does he know his grandfather had a boner? Hmmm...

527166[/snapback]

Open-casket.

btw, that's what he gets for beatin his meat.

 

Odds are, if you're beatin it in an unlocked room, you'll eventually get caught.

you're quite the philosopher Furman.

Wait a minute. When you bury someone, isn't the casket supposed to be closed? If so, then how does he know his grandfather had a boner? Hmmm...

527166[/snapback]

Open-casket.

527507[/snapback]

 

You bury people open casket?

btw, that's what he gets for beatin his meat.

 

Odds are, if you're beatin it in an unlocked room, you'll eventually get caught.

527509[/snapback]

 

furman does like chris rock and becomes batman with that s*** which is the intelligent thing to do.

 

if you want to watch porn during the day with people in the house, dont jack off. leave it for later.

 

wait till everyone's asleep or your home alone to relieve your tension, and always avoid leaving a mess.

 

 

i heard all these things from a friend. :plain

That's the funniest thing I've read in years......

 

Oh my goodness, good times....

it was open casket all the way up to lowering it.

 

All funerals can be different. This story may or may not be true, but many funerals do have the casket open as long as possible (especially when the cemetery is on the same property as the funeral home), and close it just before lowering it.

I see. Thing is that the burials I have been to, it was never open casket until right before lowering it. Maybe the way you guys do it is different.

Clarification:

 

Open Casket doesn't mean all the way open down to their toes. It means that the upper part of the body is exposed and not the lower half.

maybe he had long legs and a short torso :plain

poor dude. lol.

Odds are, if you're beatin it in an unlocked room, you'll eventually get caught.

527509[/snapback]

 

We should call that Furman's law.