So you thought police officers didn't have a sense of

humor.... The following were taken off of actual

police car videos around the country:

 

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're

new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

 

#14 "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your

birth certificate a worthless document."

 

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

 

#12 "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In

case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a

9mm bullet fired from my gun."

 

#11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I

guess that means I can write anything I want on the

ticket, huh?"

 

#10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor,

but I don't think it will help.. Oh, did I mention that

I am the! shift supervisor?"

 

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you

not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

 

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine

whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat

or a dog?"

 

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a

place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy,

and step in monkey $#*!."

 

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my

wife gets a toaster oven."

 

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

 

#4 "Just how big were those two beers?"

 

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to

have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many

tickets as we want."

 

#2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good

personal friend of yours. At least you know someone

who can post your bail."

 

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?

You're right, we don't...sign here."!

Lol! awesome. I hope I don't get to hear any of those in person though

lol

lmao im liking those

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?

You're right, we don't...sign here."!

That was the only one I actually LOL'ed at.

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine

whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat

or a dog?"

 

I like that one :lol

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine

whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat

or a dog?"

 

I like that one :lol

 

 

yeah, that one is the best... lol... a DOG!

Yeah they sure as hell have some when their the one's telling it. Genture a cop a joke or even laugh or say something slick, and I'll see your head being banged against the side walk and then they'll call it resisting arrest when your simply trying to defend yourselves. F'in A Holes...! LOL

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?

You're right, we don't...sign here."!

 

 

This is the best one.

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine

whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat

or a dog?"

 

I like that one :lol

I like that one too. I had to read it a few times before I got it. I was gonna say "dog", but I then realized, it was an obvoius answer: mouse.

I've actually heard #15 since I work for Target as Security. I deal with cops a lot and they told that to some woman once.