cgator

Oh what the heck, put me in. I figure I can last at least one round.......I think (especially if I suck up a bit ) later.........

Yep, I like to check that site out on a regular basis. They have some pretty cool flash stuff (and some pretty strange stuff at times too.) later...........

That one is kinda big, but I just had to use it in that post I was starved for attention later... p.s. Maybe I'll see if I can shrink the wave down a bit when I get a chance.

A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says, "This is phenomenal. You've graduated from the best schools, your recommendations are wonderful and your experience is unparalleled. Normally, we'd hire you without a second thought. However, a sales representative has a highly visible position, and we're afraid your constant winking will scare off potential customers. I'm sorry, we can't hire you." "But wait," he said. "If I take two aspirin, I'll stop winking." "Really? Great! Show me." So, the applicant reaches into his jacket pocket and begins pulling out all sorts of condoms: red condoms, blue condoms, ribbed condoms, flavored condoms. Finally, at the bottom, he finds a packet of aspirin. He tears it open, swallows the pills and stops winking. "Well," said the interviewer, "that's all well and good, but this is a respectable company, and we will not have our employees womanizing all over the country." "Womanizing? What do you mean? I'm a happily married man!" "Well then, how do you explain all these condoms?" said the interviewer. "Oh, that," he sighed. "Have you ever walked into a pharmacy, winking, and asked for aspirin?"

A man and his wife are watching boxing on TV. The husband sighs and says, "I'm disappointed. It was all over in four minutes." The wife replies, "Good! Now you know how I feel."

Q: What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman? A: Sexual harassment. Q: What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man? A: $3.99 a minute.

"2003" Hard to believe, but another year has passed and we once again have the Darwin Award nominees. The Darwin is awarded every year to the person who died (or almost died) in the stupidest way. This year's nominees are: Nominee No. 1: [san Jose Mercury News]: An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriend's windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut. >> > Nominee No. 2: [Kalamazoo Gazette]: James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo, Mich., was killed as he was trying to repair what police describe as a "farm type truck." Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns' clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft." >> > Nominee No. 3: [Hickory Daily Record]: Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in Newton, NC Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed a Smith & Wesson 38 Special, which discharged when he put it to his ear. >> > Nominee No. 4: [uPI, Toronto]: Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy,39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was demonstrating the strength of the building's windows to visiting law students. Peter Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" members of the 200-man association. >> >> > Nominee No. 5: [bloomberg News Service]: A terrible diet and a room with no ventilation are being blamed for the death of a man who was killed by his own gas.An autopsy showed large amounts of methane gas in his system. His diet had consisted primarily of beans and cabbage. It was just the right combination of foods, and the man died in his sleep from breathing the poisonous cloud hanging over his bed. According to the article, "He was a big man with a huge capacity for creating this deadly gas." Three of the rescuers got sick and one was hospitalized. >> > Nominee No. 6: [The News of the Weird]: Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously. He had spent several years awaiting South Carolina's electric chair on a murder conviction, but his sentence had just been reduced to life in prison. While sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted. >> > Nominee No. 7: [The Indianapolis Star]: A cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal explosion in Dunkirk, Indiana. A Jay County man using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzle loader was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents' home about 11:30 PM. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle loader that had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gun powder ignited. >> > Nominee No. 8: [Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario]: A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. Stefan Macko, 55, was standing on a wheeled chair when the accident occurred, said Inspector D'Arcy Honer of the Peel Regional Police. "It appears the chair moved and he went over the balcony." >> > Finally, Nominee No. 9, The Winner!!!: [Arkansas Democrat Gazette]: Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree on State Highway 38 early Monday. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock were returning to Des Arc after a frog gigging trip. When the headlights malfunctioned, the two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older model truck had burned out. A replacement fuse was not available, but Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullet from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box. Upon inserting the bullet the headlights again began to operate properly and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge. After traveling approximately twenty miles the bullet apparently overheated, discharged, and struck Poole in the right testicle. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exited the pavement and struck a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident, but will require surgery to repair the testicle. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. Upon being notified of the wreck, Poole's wife asked how many frogs the boys had caught, and did anyone get them from the truck? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Works like a charm. Lets hear it gang..... later......... and thanks!

Excellent! At first, I thought i was just going crazy later.......

Thanks Adam. later..........

I put this in the other thread, but here is my old H.S. Hudson Catholic later......

Admin, For some reason, the 'goto last unread' button does not seem to be working for me. when I click it, it just sends me to the beginning of a topic. Any suggestions, or is there a problem in the code for that button? BTW Sorry I have not been posting lately, there have been a number of medical problems involving family. I have been trying to check in when I have some time to catch up on reading, but have not felt much like posting (I won't go in to details here, but things are now looking better.) later.......

Hey, check it out: BobboB I bet no one else can do that. I can Just happens to be my real name (Bob that is.) later.......

I'm here. I'm always lurking somewhere. Usually just basking on a bank somewhere........ later.......

your response may take a while but you will get one.... ive gotten one each time i have written..... I would hope you would get one from the guy you're going to be working for. It's not quite the same, Ramp. later......

1:30 on a Sunday afternoon in August: "Hey, let's wear the hottest freakin' color we possibly can. Hell, I can just carry the I.V. bottle out on to the field with me. I may just melt into fertilizer out here in the outfield, but I'll look damn sharp doing it." Give me some teal tops, black lettering with white borders. later......

^^^^^^^^ Pure :spam later........ +1

Too much time on your hands??? You're getting wierd, so I feel obligated to keep an eye on you later.........

Bob, your sense of humor is Goofy Humor You have your standards: They may be low, but at least you have them. Sure subtle wit makes some people grin and say, "Now that's funny." But you know the Three Stooges makes people howl with laughter. It's the physical stuff, the poop jokes and funny voices, that get you going because you have a goofy sense of humor. You have no problem making a fool of yourself as long as your moves to "fake" a fall break the ice and make people feel comfortable. later........

People person? You? Absolutely! That's why you'd make a perfect VP of Personnel. You really get what makes people tick, and you're an expert at navigating even the most complex interpersonal relationships. A natural counselor, you know just what to say in every circumstance ? "tact" could be your middle name. No one's better at handling potentially sticky situations. Plus, you've got a great sense of fun, which means you'd really get a kick out of planning morale-boosting activities and parties. It's all part of your creative, outgoing nature. You really like making people happy and turning wherever you are ? home or office ? into a happy place to be. No doubt about it, there's a promotion in your future. So keep up the good work! later.......

Bob, you're driven by what's practical Chances are, you've got a schedule to keep, and you want to look good while doing it. You're not one for overly risky ventures ? that's probably because the tried and true works just fine for you. There's something nice about predictability and knowing what you can count on and what to be prepared for. later.....

if Foxy homered twice, shouldn't that be 2-0 j/k later.......

lol I know, I just figured the hair alone would catch the defenses off guard later....

maybe if king were still the qb... Don King? :blink: