March 31, 200620 yr Friday, March 24, 2006 The National League: Like you knew them in high school For my Major League Baseball 2006 Preview, I figured I would relate each baseball team to people you knew from high school. Everybody remembers high school and if not, play along with these slight stereotypes. National League Atlanta Braves: They're like the senior starting quarterback you heard about as a freshman. Living strictly off of reputation, you are in awe of him. Even though your team runs a wishbone set and this guy has twice as many interceptions as touchdowns, he's been the starter since Little Gridders... and he has a letter jacket. Florida Marlins: You were friends with this girl when you were younger. She was a good friend. Nothing spectacular, but a solid friend. Then the factory where her dad worked laid off half of its employees and she moved away so her dad could work for a legitimate company. New York Mets: This is that one person you knew that tried way too hard to impress other people. They talk about the things they did over summer break proudly, but when you ask anything about that remarkable summer camp experience, they change the subject. They name drop frequently about people they've hung out with, but everyone still knows most of what they do or say is BS and that they're not as good as your best friend. Philadelphia Phillies: This kid likes a girl, and everyone has known it for a long time. He keeps saying that he'll ask her out. Once in awhile he comes really close but he never manages to do it. So he goes back to the drawing board and trys to come up with a talent to change things, but it never works and he still likes the girl but never gets to the point of asking her out. Washington Nationals: This girl just moved into town and she's kinda hot (maybe even French-Canadian, if you catch my drift). Her cousin also goes to school and says that she's been with a guy or two, so everyone is intrigued by this girl, until they realize the cousin was lying and that she's the same as most of the other girls in school. http://kylemacken.blogspot.com/2006/03/nat...ew-them-in.html follow the link to the Rockies one. :shifty
March 31, 200620 yr that's awesome... anyway, we(the marlins) are the ugly girl from middle school who loses her babii fat, braces, gets a nose job, maybe some boobs and becomes a babe in hs oh yes, oh yes
March 31, 200620 yr Cincinnati Reds: This girl is a bitch. She's ridiculously unattractive, but she talks like she's a goddess. You and your friends don't like her one bit, and that sentiment permeates through the entire school. This girl won't amount to much, and will probably contract an STD at a frat party at your local state university. :lol :lol :plain
March 31, 200620 yr This is great. Here is the AL for anyone who wants to see it: http://kylemacken.blogspot.com/
March 31, 200620 yr 2 great ones from the AL West: Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim: You knew this girl when you were younger and lost touch. She had a normal name, but then when she got to high school she either started saying or spelling it differently. Maybe she started going by her middle name. Maybe she did all three. Either way, you can't even figure out what to call this girl, and you don't really know anything about her. Texas Rangers: This is your average kid. It might even be you. You might look back on this kid and see yourself. Young and full of potential, but hasn't amounted to much lately and maybe never will. Maybe you'll be underachieving, and you've definitely done something stupid since high school. It just wasn't as stupid as offering some shortstop a quarter billion dollars.
March 31, 200620 yr off-topic I got my SI today with the previews for the upcoming season can't wait to read up on the Marlins and how they stack up. On topic: GOOD STUFF!
March 31, 200620 yr Can't say enough about the effort that this guy put in, but a lot of the referrences just don't make sense to me.
March 31, 200620 yr Oh man.... I can remember reading an article just like this about the team a few years ago in a season preview where they did these same comparisons. SImilar to this but funny as hell. That year the Marlins were the high school nonconformist misfit punk kids that refused to cooperate & learn their place. It was absolutely hysterical. :lol They were like the gang of bad-ass misfits. The 6-fingered guy, the dude with one testicle, the guys with nipple rings & tatoos, etc. "Hey kid you're too young to have thrown a no-hitter, what do you think you're doing?" AJ Burnett: "F*ck off!" "Hey you guys are too young to compete. Just hang back in the division and let the Braves & Phillies duke it out, okay?" Josh Beckett: "Suck my asss!" This one doesn't seem nearly as funny, so I'm thinking it's a different site. I wish I could find it, it was spot on perfect.
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