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SI <3 Hanley

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Just wanted to share something with my peers on this board, as this following post...from a Mets fan on a Mets board discussing who is better between Hanley and Reyes...is one of the most laughably contradictory message board posts I have ever personally seen.

 

Enjoy...

 

Hm...

 

Speed = Reyes > Hanley

Defense = Reyes >> Hanley

Leadership/Chemistry = Reyes > Hanley

Plate Discipline = Hanley >> Reyes

BA = Hanley >> Reyes

Impact on team = Hanley = Reyes --> table starters

Power = Hanley >> Reyes

"Clutch" = Hanley >> Reyes

 

Hanley is definitely the better player than Reyes but Reyes has a brighter future as he can develop into a HOF one day while Hanley i believe will be several MVP, batting titles, and a superstar but not HOF material

 

I would take any one in our team though i'm glad we have Reyes instead of Hanley for his chemistry and defense

 

LINK

 

Bolded part is where the funny is.

The funniest part is that Reyes has an edge in leadership while Hanley has the lead in clutch. It's an "intangible-off" to see who can accumulate the most points in non-existent things.

 

For the record, thats total bulls***, Hanley has a LORP (Leadership Over Replacement Player) of 48.9, and Reyes only has a 42.4.

 

Strangely, Derek Jeter only has a 34.8. Who would've thought?

LORP?

 

geez wat stat will come next????

It's as real as Grit Index and the Intangi-Scale (used to rate a player's intangibles, course).

 

For the record, even though he's missed almost half of the season, Eckstein leads the majors in LORP, GI, and Intangi-Scale by a 2 to 1 margin over the next closest. He's amazing.

wait, you mean LORP really is for real, or as real as something like it can be?

Miguel Cabrera has an uninspiring 8.5 LORP. Maybe if he wasn't so lazy he'd be higher. Even Scott Olsen has a higher LORP than him. It's sad.

It's as real as Grit Index and the Intangi-Scale (used to rate a player's intangibles, course).

 

For the record, even though he's missed almost half of the season, Eckstein leads the majors in LORP, GI, and Intangi-Scale by a 2 to 1 margin over the next closest. He's amazing.

I'll bet Juan Pierre gets to the stadium earlier than Eckstein.

It's as real as Grit Index and the Intangi-Scale (used to rate a player's intangibles, course).

 

For the record, even though he's missed almost half of the season, Eckstein leads the majors in LORP, GI, and Intangi-Scale by a 2 to 1 margin over the next closest. He's amazing.

 

The fact that Eckstein leads tells me all about those "stats" that I need to know. Apparently, hustle and heart is more important than actual baseball ability according to those.

It's as real as Grit Index and the Intangi-Scale (used to rate a player's intangibles, course).

 

For the record, even though he's missed almost half of the season, Eckstein leads the majors in LORP, GI, and Intangi-Scale by a 2 to 1 margin over the next closest. He's amazing.

I'll bet Juan Pierre gets to the stadium earlier than Eckstein.

 

Blasphemy!

 

It's a well known fact that a player's Heart Size to Actual Size Ratio perfectly correlates to what time they get to the stadium. As of today, Eckstein's HS:AS is a solid 48.3.

For the record, Olsen actually gained LORP points for getting tasered by the cops. It's an odd system, but it's the best we've got.

 

And Juan Pierre may get to the stadium before Eckstein, but he's nowhere near the leader that Scrapford Von Grit is. Eckstein can will his team to win even if he's hurt.

It's as real as Grit Index and the Intangi-Scale (used to rate a player's intangibles, course).

 

For the record, even though he's missed almost half of the season, Eckstein leads the majors in LORP, GI, and Intangi-Scale by a 2 to 1 margin over the next closest. He's amazing.

 

The fact that Eckstein leads tells me all about those "stats" that I need to know. Apparently, hustle and heart is more important than actual baseball ability according to those.

 

Hustle, Grit, and Heart are the only things that matter in baseball. And also "True Yankeeism". In fact, a new wave of baseball genetic experts believes that there may be a mutant patch of genetic code on chromosome 11 in some major league ballplayers. In most cases, this causes True Yankeeism. Eckstein, they claim, was born with a mutation of a mutation; the resulting phenotype features not only acute and heightened True Yankeeism, but stunted growth and fair skin and hair.

jesus christ, people

 

he's kidding!

 

How dare you, sir. How dare you defame my good name with slander and filth such as this. If I wasn't a gentleman I'd slap you in public. Good day, sir.

this thread is priceless

 

ken tremendous, is that you? go back to your underwriting at fremulon!

 

I love how a blog has spawned a certain style of baseball humor/commentary. You can spot an FJM reader just by reading their posts.

this thread is priceless

 

ken tremendous, is that you? go back to your underwriting at fremulon!

 

I love how a blog has spawned a certain style of baseball humor/commentary. You can spot an FJM reader just by reading their posts.

 

Guilty as charged. Those guys are freaking geniuses...

Bob's SORP (Sarcasm Over Replacement Poster) is currently at 73.4

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