Ok one of my best friends on Xbox Live is my buddy who we'll call "Tod" to conceal his identity. I love playing games with him and I love talking to him because we agree on so much. From politics to TV to music. Anyway When I met him, me and a few of his other friend formed a clique a term I use loosely because it's not formal. The clique included me, him, two other friends (that I will leave nameless because they're not relevant to this), and a guy who we'll call "Dan" (again to conceal his identity) who is one of Tod's one closes personal real life friends. So we loved playing together. However we started playing together less and less and some of us stopped being on so much. Which didn't bug us, we had real world lives to lead. Despite the changes in our real world lives, me and Tod continued to hang out on Xbox and talk about politics and TV. I've never met Tod in real life, but we long had plans to one day.

 

With my pesky anxiety issues, something I won't go in to here, I don't get out much and as such rely on Xbox Live for friendship and psychological social satisfaction. Stupid I know, but it's my situation whether I like it or not. So that friendship is really important to me.

 

Moving further to my point...

 

Up until about 6 or 7 months ago, when ever Dan and Tod were on I would join the party and they would be welcoming. "Hey, Aaron!" or "What's up!" then that one day 6 or 7 months ago they kicked me. No "hey Aaron" or "what's up?" just kicked. I'm a pretty sensitive guy so it hurt my feelings and sorta made me feel unwanted. Later Tod said they were having a private conversation. I said "Ok" and let it go. it happened again two nights later. and has happened virtually every time they've been on at the same time since. I tried confronting them about it and tried to get them to stop kicking me and either make the party invite only or kindly ask me to leave, but they won't do it. Contending that I was the one in the wrong for joining their party uninvited, something they never said before this started. They wanted me to start asking before I joined. Which I reluctantly agreed to because I do value their friendship. And I started to do so, and I would hardly ever get a response to my request and in the rare instance I did it would be a "no".

 

I still value his friendship and when Dan isn't on me and Tod still get along together very well as if nothing's wrong. But it's got to the point that I dread when Dan gets online. I only keep Dan in my Xbox Friends list to let me know when he's on so I can try to avoid the kicking, but it happens anyway and they refuse to put any effort in themselves to try and keep it from happening. I mentioned it happening today...well...I asked permission....no response...I messaged again adding that it does no good to ask permission if they don't respond....again it seems no response and just as I'm saying "f*** it" and joining anyway they reply with a "no" which leads to another kicking. Which I try to let it go, again....I let them be. 2 hours pass and I see they're both on halo 3 so I try to message Tod for an invite at which point he makes himself appear offline even though I know he's still on because i can see the members of the Halo 3 party. I'm fed up with it but I'm too hesitant to confront them again because I fear it will destroy a friendship I still want. but I can't keep going on like this.

 

Besides the obvious "Get a life in real life", what do I do?

Have you ever invited Dan to join the Rays Republic? Dan has feelings too.

Erick, your post made me chuckle for a moment.

 

Anyways, to the original post ... things like this happen. It's happened to me as well [not necessarily x-box live, but Facebook or whatever]. The only thing you can do at this point is leave it be and move on. There will be more Dan's and Tod's in the world. I think it'd be funny, though, if Dan's real name was Tod and vice versa.

 

Another idea is, when just you and Tod are on, try to ease into it and see what's going on. Maybe Dan's a Yankee fan.

This can't be real.

It is.

This is just from what you've said:

 

Dan doesn't like you. Tod's a little bitch who follows Dan. If you value that friendship, then be ready to deal with Tod being a little bitch. It's not worth it in my opinion. Don't you have other friends you could spend your time with?

This is just from what you've said:

 

Dan doesn't like you. Tod's a little bitch who follows Dan. If you value that friendship, then be ready to deal with Tod being a little bitch. It's not worth it in my opinion. Don't you have other friends you could spend your time with?

The only other friend I have that I value my friendship with that much doesn't have Xbox Live.

Because of what Entendu said, I think, realistically, you either have to get new friends or try not being so sensitive anymore.

To draw on what Erick said...

 

You just need to get new friends. You need to be stronger for yourself. I'm not trying to be mean to you but you're clearly the weak one in this situation looking in. You're afraid of destroying a friendship that sounds to me like it's one way. You need to politely point a middle finger and walk away. I've done it before and I left my friends from high school and literally had nothing at all for a period of time. I know how hard it is, but life on the other side is a lot better once you get through the trough.

And fuck it dude I'm being straight forward with you here...

 

You need to change. You need a completely different outlook on life. I know this from pure experience. I'm just going to rehash my Facebook status for you (which was absurdly popular)...

 

 

 

So I'm going to jump on this whole New Years stuff two days late...

 

2012 was literally the most successful year of my entire life. I can't begin to explain how many big things I've accomplished and how much I've grown up. Whether it's the success in school, the half marathon I ran, the 18 concerts in 7 cities I saw, the awesome people I met and made friendships with, and so so so much more [and I'll just keep this short and sweet] --

 

I've learned that you're only going to quench the cravings of life if you get off your ass and work hard to make a difference to change where you are to where you want to be.

 

You have to WANT to change. You have to TRY. It takes a CONSTANT CONSCIOUS EFFORT to make it happen.

Realistically,

Internet Friendships are difficult to handle. You don't nessesarily know whats going on in the others life to the point where somethign can just change from one day to the next without knowing what caused it.

 

He probably agreed they would train or play alone. Just leave it at that. You can do only so much. I have a great friendship though email only (Never spoken over the phone) with someone clear across the country at twice my age. These things need to go both ways. If he doesn't care, just give up on it and move on.

 

Besides, part of the fun on XBOX is pwning newbies- why play with the same people over and over.

 

Like I said, move on- and snipe his ass from across the map if you ever run into him again.

First World Problems

If they dont want to talk to you, then screw them. Go meet new people online. Maybe after sometime passes Tod will want to hang out with you?

 

However, one thing to keep in mind is that continually asking them to join the party probably isn't helping your cause. Its probably making them want to avoid you.

 

What about hanging out with the other two guys you mentioned in your first paragraph?

 

I'm not sure how old you are, but what about taking a class, join a bowling league, or doing something else where you will meet people?

I say point the middle finger their way and tell them to fuck off, in those exact same words. I know you have some social anxiety issues, but the best way to get past them is to get out there and meet people. You cannot expect to have healthy relationships, if they all revolve around xbox live. Also, you can always make new friends, don't lower yourself to that, man. MAN UP! I know its difficult, and it seems like you care for your friend, but it doesn't seem that he feels the same way.