Make-A-Wish Foundation Asked To Punch Barry Bonds In The Nuts

 

AMES, IA--Members of the Make-A-Wish Foundation struggled to come up with a response to a dying 9-year-old boy?s request that they punch slugger Barry Bonds in the nuts repeatedly. The boy, Danny Wickman of Ames, Iowa, reportedly hates Bonds and wants nothing more than to see him in debilitating pain. The director of the foundation said that it was the first such request that he had ever received.

 

?That?s a first. Obviously the kid really hates Barry Bonds, as a lot of people do, but I don?t know if we can comply with his request,? said Charles Hopkinton, managing director of Make-A-Wish. ?We?ll have to call Barry and see if he?s OK with it. I mean, it is his dying wish, so we should do everything we can to make it happen. What really strikes me though, is the fact that he [Danny] isn?t even interested in doing it himself. He's happy just to watch someone else do it. Now that?s hatred.?

 

Wickman has been diagnosed with tuberculosis and is expected to live another six months. Upon hearing about his condition through a mutual friend, Hopkinton immediately met little Danny to set him up with the foundation. After mulling over his wish, Danny decided it would be fun to watch his least favorite ball player get punched in the nuts.

 

?I kept asking him if he was sure,? said Hopkinton. ?And he kept saying ?yes.? I offered him all kinds of other stuff, but he was adamant. He wants to see Bonds doubled over in pain before he dies.?

 

Hopkinton apparently offered Wickman a chance to meet Lebron James, have a one-on-one dinner with Brett Favre, and get an all access pass to the Minnesota Vikings training camp. As appealing as these offers sounded, nothing was more appealing than the ruthless beating of Bonds.

 

Mary Wickman, Danny?s mother, said her son has always had a deep, seething resentment towards Bonds.

 

?A lot of people hate that guy, so it should be understandable that he would request something like this,? she said. ?[Danny] is not some stupid kid who blindly worships athletes. He only roots for guys who are good people. He?s heard enough Bonds interviews, as we all have, to know that the guy is an arrogant, selfish prick. I?m sure a lot of people in America would love to see the guy gets his nuts rammed with a sledgehammer. I know I would.?

 

Hopkinton has been trying to come up with a way to present the idea to Bonds. He does not expect the slugger to agree to have his testicles punched, but he may agree to make an appearance with young Danny, at which point they could ambush him.

 

?That?s the only solution I can come up with right now,? said Hopkinton. ?As bad as it may sound, we might have to trick him into showing up, then just sneak in a few quick c**k-punches so Danny can get his wish. After that, we might have to run like hell, but this is a kid?s dying wish. We can?t say no. And frankly, we don?t want to.?

 

The director?s biggest concern, he said, is Bonds willingness to show up at all, even for a brief handshake and autograph session. The famous slugger has a reputation for being ornery and extremely private, even when it comes to cute, dying children.

 

?I know this guy doesn?t do autographs and things like that,? said Hopkinton. ?I know he has a track record of turning down charity causes. I know because one time I asked him to send a sick kid a signed 8 x 10 and he said no. Can you imagine that? He just had to sign it and send it out. He said he was ?too busy.? Then I told him that he could just have his secretary sign it and send it out, and the kid wouldn?t even know any better. He said ?Nah, she?s too busy.? Then I asked him to just turn his head slightly and look in the direction of the young boy, who was sitting behind the dugout. He just said ?Nah. Got a sore neck.? That?s why, if we can pull this off, I?ll be the first in line to smack him.?

 

While most sick children request time with athletes they admire, Wickman said he'll be perfectly content to see an athlete he does not admire suffer greatly. When asked why he had such antipathy for the hall-of-fame slugger, young Danny answered with his usual candor.

 

?Why do I hate Barry Bonds? There?s no specific reason. I just think he?s a dick,? said Wickman. ?He?s so conceited and he thinks he?s better than everyone else and he?s sits there in that stupid reclining chair in the clubhouse like he?s the king of the world or something. Having this disease really sucks, but I swear I?ll die happy if someone punches Barry in the nuts. It?s easy. All they have to do is get a press pass to go into the Giants locker room after a game, pretend they're a reporter, and give him a couple quick punches. That?s all it takes to really hurt someone. Is that too much to ask, Mr. Hopkinton? Don?t you want to make a dying boy happy??

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2003, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission

 

 

Link

:lol

You do realize the kid has a terminal disease and has 6 months to live?

Mays24Bonds25 values his alliegance over people's lives any day.

 

Anyways, that would be funyn if they made it to be o ntV. I would fee lreally bad, actually awful, but would laugh harder than I have ever laughed in my life.

holy crap that is hilarious and sad at the same time. That kid is definitely not the only one that would like to see Bonds take a few punches to the groin.

man wtf lol

:lol :lol :lol

 

after all the steroids Bonds' testicles must be so small he won't feel the pain.

I would have said the same thing, just I would've have picked Jeffrey Mayer.

The more I read this thing and that site, the less I think it is real.

Obviously its not real. That was pretty clear as soon as I read a couple of the quotes.

Obviously its not real. That was pretty clear as soon as I read a couple of the quotes.

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Yeah I just read the first 2 paragraphs before I posted. So I read the whole thing and after I read the quote below, there's no doubt that it isn't real.

 

“That’s the only solution I can come up with right now,� said Hopkinton. “As bad as it may sound, we might have to trick him into showing up, then just sneak in a few quick c**k-punches so Danny can get his wish. After that, we might have to run like hell, but this is a kid’s dying wish. We can’t say no. And frankly, we don’t want to.�

 

I have a hard time believing the make-a-wish foundation director would say this. :lol

look at there archives one topic is "Christ Becomes Free Agent, Signs Deal With Satan"

Just look at the last paragraph. Nine year olds don't speak like that.

how do you come across these things?

It was sent to me yesterday

look at there archives one topic is "Christ Becomes Free Agent, Signs Deal With Satan"

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Johnny signed with Steinbrenner????????????????????

look at there archives one topic is "Christ Becomes Free Agent, Signs Deal With Satan"

457549[/snapback]

 

Johnny signed with Steinbrenner????????????????????

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Noooooooooo

No surprise the story is fake... only bullsh*t comes out of Ames.

I knew this couldn't be real, but it's still hi-larious.

Granted this story is fake...how many of you guys, if you were famous ball players, would agree to a similar wish from a dying kid?

Granted this story is fake...how many of you guys, if you were famous ball players, would agree to a similar wish from a dying kid?

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I hope nobody would.

Sounds more like the wish a dying 80 year old would make...