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Crow, Alvarez, Gordon, Cishek avoid arbitration


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I lost track. Does this mean only Dunn and Latos go to arby then?

 

Mike Dunn: I would like the money.

 

The Miami Marlins: We would like the consistency.

 

Mike Dunn: I am bad only in critical situations. I am good when the games don't matter.

 

The Miami Marlins: That sucks. We want you to be good when the games matter.

 

Mike Dunn: Yeah, I probably don't belong on a team with playoff aspirations. I don't need that much money anymore.

 

The Miami Marlins: Good, here's money.

 

Arbiter: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

Mike Dunn's Agent: (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

 

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We're on the hook for only about $44 million of our own money for the 2015 season.

 

Right but Latos, Dunn and Phelps still need to be paid too.

 

 

 

 

Here are my estimates, based on literally nothing:

 

Latos: $8.2 million

 

Dunn: $2.5 million

 

Phelps: $1.5 million

 

Hechavarria: 15 year, $350 million extension, guaranteeing he will be wearing a Marlins cap when he enters the Hall of Fame*

 

*on a winter trip to Cooperstown with his family

 

 

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