Granted, but Hurricane Omega destroys it.

 

I wish I had a new car.

Granted, but it doesn't come with an engine

 

I wish I owned the patent to a working model of a cold fusion reactor

Granted, but the Russian secret service kills you and steals the plans.

 

I wish I was a little bit taller...

Granted, but you grow so tall your heart can't adequately circulate the blood through your CV system and you die.

 

 

I wish I had an Oscar Meyer weiner.

Granted, but that is what you'd really like to beeeeee.

 

I wish I could give the world to you, because my love is all I have to give.

Granted, but your "love" is HIV positive.

 

I wish I had my own personal militia

Granted, but they overthrow you.

 

I wish I had free medical coverage.

Granted, but it's valid only for a week.

 

I wish I was at Disney right now.

Granted, but the laser show at Epcot malfunctions and the surrounding area explodes, killing everyone including the little children in the Imagination ride...bits and pieces flying all over the place, and people crying for their lives, sinking into the depths of the lake.

 

I wish I wasn't so evil.

Granted but to rid you of all evil you must be burned alive.

 

I wish all liberals would disappear.

Granted....

Granted but to rid you of all evil you must be burned alive.

 

I wish all liberals would disappear.

 

 

Granted, but you would become one.

 

I wish I had super human strenght

Granted, but you get busted by the government for steroids.

 

I wish I could go to the lake for a swim.

Granted, but it's at a gay camp.

 

 

 

I wish I could hook up with Admin

Granted but to hook up with Admin you must hook up with Das.

 

I wish I could dunk a basketball on a 10 foot rim.

Granted, but you shatter the backboard and get sliced up.

 

I wish it was Friday.

Granted, but it's Friday the 13th and you're at Camp Crystal Lake.

 

I wish I had an entourage.

Granted but it consists of Adolf Hilter, Pol Pot, Kim Jong Il, and Saddam.

 

I wish I didnt have to wear contacts.

Granted, but you just dont have any eyes

 

 

I wish that it wasnt cold outside

Granted but now you are on the sun.

 

I wish I could save the Marlins.

Granted, but it's the fish and not the baseball team

 

I wish I had a time machine

Granted, but in only goes 5 seconds into the past.

 

I wish I had new teeth.

Granted, but you get in an accident and they are all knocked out.

 

I wish the Heat would win tonight.

Granted but Tim Duncan is god

 

I wish that my snapple refilled itself.

Granted but in reality Snapple is chefbob's love potion.

 

 

 

I wish my cat would write my paper for me.