May 30, 201115 yr http://www.marlinsbaseball.com/2011/05/greg-dobbs-marlins%E2%80%99-catalyst-and-mvp-through-the-first-50-games-2/ My first article. I'm looking for any feedback I can get. Also, all hail Dobbs! :notworthy
May 30, 201115 yr He hasn't been the team's MVP and he's still a platoon player; he never plays against lefties. He certainly has been a pleasant surprise thus far, though.
May 30, 201115 yr I don't think he's MVP, but he has been the man. He's come up with timely hits, and he's awesome with runners in scoring position.
May 30, 201115 yr I agree....he's been a pleasant surprise but lets not go crazy here. He's not a catalyst either.
May 30, 201115 yr Solid article, and appeared to be free of grammatical errors or typos, which is good. Agree with the MVP-related sentiments, but still a very nice piece.
May 30, 201115 yr Gaby has been our MVP, if anything. Dobbs has been cool though. Or Morrison. The only reason I didn't pick him was because he missed 20 games.
May 30, 201115 yr Well, the idea of "MVP" is subjective. I actually agree with floridafly's belief that Dobbs so far has been our MVP. My opinion is that at the beginning of the season, 3rd base was our biggest weakness. It was set to be the black hole in the lineup. Dobbs has come in and turned a weakness into a strength so far. He's provided a real bat in the lineup and hasn't been too big of a liability in the field. When I think of players who have provided the most "value" to this team, who has given us the biggest bang for our buck, that without a doubt is Greg Dobbs through the first 50 games. Also, now that my semi hectic two weeks is up, I'm gonna try to add a few more articles before going up to college.
May 30, 201115 yr Although if coaches are allowed to be included in the debate, Edwin Rodriguez/Perry Hill/Joe Espada would share the MVP award in my vote.
May 30, 201115 yr Well, the idea of "MVP" is subjective. I actually agree with floridafly's belief that Dobbs so far has been our MVP. My opinion is that at the beginning of the season, 3rd base was our biggest weakness. It was set to be the black hole in the lineup. Dobbs has come in and turned a weakness into a strength so far. He's provided a real bat in the lineup and hasn't been too big of a liability in the field. When I think of players who have provided the most "value" to this team, who has given us the biggest bang for our buck, that without a doubt is Greg Dobbs through the first 50 games. Also, now that my semi hectic two weeks is up, I'm gonna try to add a few more articles before going up to college. Greg Dobbs ($600,000) is making more than Gaby Sanchez ($431,000) this year. Even if that's the thinking for this, it's still wrong. Gaby Sanchez has been this team's most valuable player, thus far. There's no question, really. He's exceeded expectations (our own manager even called him the biggest surprise on the team), he's been the most productive, and he's the only one who's played every single inning. I don't really see how this is a debate, to be honest.
May 30, 201115 yr Well, the idea of "MVP" is subjective. I actually agree with floridafly's belief that Dobbs so far has been our MVP. My opinion is that at the beginning of the season, 3rd base was our biggest weakness. It was set to be the black hole in the lineup. Dobbs has come in and turned a weakness into a strength so far. He's provided a real bat in the lineup and hasn't been too big of a liability in the field. When I think of players who have provided the most "value" to this team, who has given us the biggest bang for our buck, that without a doubt is Greg Dobbs through the first 50 games. Also, now that my semi hectic two weeks is up, I'm gonna try to add a few more articles before going up to college. Greg Dobbs ($600,000) is making more than Gaby Sanchez ($431,000) this year. Even if that's the thinking for this, it's still wrong. Gaby Sanchez has been this team's most valuable player, thus far. There's no question, really. He's exceeded expectations (our own manager even called him the biggest surprise on the team), he's been the most productive, and he's the only one who's played every single inning. I don't really see how this is a debate, to be honest. Plus, he's from here! But yeah, this is totally the right answer. And to say Dobbs is more valuable because he's somewhat filled a hole at 3B is kinda silly, since we'd have a hole somewhere if it wasn't for Gaby (probably LF, since Morrison would shift over).
May 30, 201115 yr Gaby has been our MVP, if anything. Dobbs has been cool though. Agreed. For what it's worth, Dobbs is the 4th best offensive player in WAR (after Sanchez, Stanton, and Morrison in order). Dobbs has been valuable, but his defense hasn't been that great. If you include WAR for pitchers, Dobbs is the 7th most valuable player on the team. WAR isn't the definitive statistic, but I certainly would agree that those 6th players have been more valuable than Dobbs has been this season.
May 30, 201115 yr Yeah, so not the MVP but he's been alright in limited time on offense. It's worth noting he's started as many games as Lomo has.
May 30, 201115 yr Through the first 50 games, the 30-20 Marlins live and die by Greg Dobbs’ bat – at least statistically. In the 30 wins, Greg Dobbs posts a .406 average with an OPS over 1.000. On the flip side, Dobbs bats a mere .292 with a .700 OPS in the club’s 20 losses. You say .292 AVG as if thats a bad thing..... This point would have been more reasonable had Dobbs been batting .220 in our losses
May 30, 201115 yr You guys, I don't actually think he means MVP in that sense. It sounds more like he's calling Dobbs the MVP because we expected nothing from Dobbs or the 3B position at all, and he's over-performing. For a guy who had to make the team out of Spring Training, his residual value is pretty high.
May 30, 201115 yr Author Through the first 50 games, the 30-20 Marlins live and die by Greg Dobbs’ bat – at least statistically. In the 30 wins, Greg Dobbs posts a .406 average with an OPS over 1.000. On the flip side, Dobbs bats a mere .292 with a .700 OPS in the club’s 20 losses. You say .292 AVG as if thats a bad thing..... This point would have been more reasonable had Dobbs been batting .220 in our losses I was actually meaning for that to be sarcastic :lol haha I guess it didn't translate in through text. Maybe I should italicize it? lol You guys, I don't actually think he means MVP in that sense. It sounds more like he's calling Dobbs the MVP because we expected nothing from Dobbs or the 3B position at all, and he's over-performing. For a guy who had to make the team out of Spring Training, his residual value is pretty high. And bingo. If there was Team MVP voting in terms of flat out production, I'd put Dobbs behind JJ, Gaby, LoMo, and possibly Stanton. But we expect solid contributions, if not great production, from those 4. If anyone here told me that Dobbs would be leading our team in BA on May 30th yet still had the 3rd best record in baseball, I'd call you crazy. Not bad for a minor league deal.
May 30, 201115 yr Feedback - Inverted pyramid - If you are familiar with this then please forgive while i explain...in journalism articles you write by an inverted pyramid. most important things first then descending into least important things - the what, who, when, where and why. Remember Americans on average only read seven-eight inches of print before moving on. In something like this, a sports article, It would be better to lead with the stats and facts..then move on to his journey up from spring training. Get the important facts in first, then the whistful hero's journey. Colorful Examples - I'd use at least one. Sometimes a sports article can become bogged down by bedazzling stats...these numbers can sometimes be conveyed in a more entertaining fashion through the use of an example. Again it's not necessary; but if you're looking for word-count it's a more appropriate way to beef up your article then becoming wordy for wordy's sake. tone of voice - You switch between active and passive voice alot. You need to pick one, and stick to it. Usually active voice is the best choice. For instance " greg dobbs HAS FLOWN under...." followed by "as much of a starter who IS CURRENTLY..." has flown is passive while is currently is active. One must be changed to agree with the other. Then that voice, passive or active, should be maintained where applicable throughout the piece. It's like writing about the past and future in the same sentence...all the words have to agree tense-wise. sounds more manicured. strength of opinions - Having strong opinions is good. but having wordy qualifiers and clarifiers immediately preceding or following a statement only serves to weaken your argument and make an article wordy. I.E.: "Greg Dobbs has flown under the radar, as much as a starter who is currently sporting a .359 average can, in his 2011 campaign so far." Good, strong starting sentence until "..can, in his 2011 campaign so far." The word "can" can be moved to in between "starter" and "who." Period after average. It would read " Greg Dobbs has flown under the radar; as much as a starter can who is currently sporting a .359 average." Merge with next paragraph. "in his 2011 campaign SO FAR." is a modifier..it just doesn't sound right. It's uneccessary, wordy, and the words "so far" make you sound unsure of yourself. You're stating a strong opinion, do not sound unsure of yourself. Example- "Through the first 50 games, the 30-20 Marlins live and die by Greg Dobbs’ bat – at least statistically." Adding at "least statistically" at the end makes it sound like you're questioning yourself. When you're affirming that something lives and dies by _____, you never want to follow this up with an at least. Especially if using such strong language. It suggests to readers that yes, while statistics say dobbs is the way you say he is - other methods of analysis suggest something to the contrary. Keep your opinions strong, no modifiers. Example - "Dobbs contribution is invaluable. Perhaps, the Most Valuable." the word perhaps reads like sounding wordy for wordy's sake. Your headline reads that greg dobbs IS a catalyst and IS a MVP, not "perhaps MVP." Again, it waters down your assertion. Example - The entire last paragraph. "So as Greg Dobbs enjoys the best start of his professional career, he will undoubtedly enter our ozone layer and come back to Earth. His .426 BABIP (Batting Average on Balls In Play) is incredibly high and it would be asinine to assume he will continue posting the numbers he has put up over the past 50 games. " Things wrong with this - You just, in one sentence, invalidated your entire opinion on how valuable dobbs is. You also called yourself asinine. This doesn't look good. Again, keep your opinions strong - and concise. If you're writing an opinion piece the other side isn't nearly as high of a priority as showing your argument to be the more sound and better looking opinion. Dobbs IS an MVP he IS a catalyst. Stick to that. There's no need to mention that he will come back down to earth, your headline doesn't mention it - so you don't need to care about it. That last paragraph would flow with the rest of the article and your opinion much better if it read something like..."So as Greg Dobbs enjoys the best start of his professional career; he can rest assured knowing that a significant share of the team’s success in a fast-paced 2011 season can be attributed to the bat on his shoulders." After that, the final two sentences about his bat say the same thing. Pick one. Eliminate the other, if they're both kept its repetitive. I do alot of this kind of stuff for a living so if you're interested you can PM me and i can give you my e mail. i'd be happy to read through any articles/papers, etc. to lend a hand whenever you need.
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.