BafflingBeerman

Conine's gotta be our Luke Skywalker, right? Beckett is Han Solo. Almost too cool for school, but ends up helping defeat the Evil Empire at the end.

Upon being told he was signed, sealed, and delivered, Jeff Mathis said in a press conference, to his Fish fans: "I'm Your's"

Maybe the reason why the Fish haven't signed any major pitchers yet and are thinking of trading Jose is that they secretly have mastered the science of cloning and have Jose #2-6 ready for the starting rotation once the original Jose leaves.

Should reinstate the Bermuda Triangle and invoke time-travel. Ballpark dimensions only encompassing 3 dimensions is so 20th century.

What I find frustrating about Loria is that he seems both impatient and loyal to a fault. Player is not panning out in Year 1 of a big contract? Trade 'em! Manager can only get an average at best team to play .500 ball? Fire 'em! Front Office hasn't put together a winning team or hired the right personnel? See you tomorrow at work!

You know what they say about the blind and promiscuity.

He's like Hydra. You ban him, two other Admin's will take his place.

Because of Alison Brie.

I hate him because his name is too similar to the Philadelphia Eagles owner, Jeffrey Lurie. So every time the Eagles do something boneheaded and they talk about their owner, I think Mr. Loria has done something that will be ridiculed. CHANGE YOUR DAMN NAME!

A former Blue Jays pitcher? Tell me more, don't stop, McGowan… (That joke makes a lot more sense if he pronounces his name the way I am in my head)

It is feasible that "making progress" is the other team getting more desperate and throwing in more players (as Hill cackles) Probably not, but making progress doesn't mean actively, eagerly pushing to trade, it just means chatter back and forth is moving forward. The Marlins can be the pretty girl at the bar, disinterested but enjoying the flirting, getting hit on while the guys are kidding themselves that they have a shot If the Fish are overwhelmed with an offer in terms of quality and quantity, they gotta take it. Jose will test the market due to Boras, and with the state of pitcher contracts only growing larger, the Marlins can offer a lot of money and still be ludicrously outbid. And Jose already turned down a fair deal. My major issue is that I have no confidence in the FO to get the right prospects and/or develop them correctly.

So spend next offseason?

True. But everyone does that. If Bryce Harper didn't put up MVP-numbers, you think the Nationals would put up with his clown comments? One of the sad facts of sports is that if you are troublemaker, but put up great numbers, management is willing to look the other way. If you cause a ruckus or mouth off and don't perform well, you are out the door ASAP.

Didn't Ozuna come into Spring Training overweight/out-of-shape and sort of shrugged it off? I can see that, coupled with his New Orleans statements, making the FO think that Ozuna's a me-first type of player (rightly or wrongly). And you can still be likable and still anger management if your work ethic isn't living up to their expectations.

I wouldn't mind signing a veteran to to compete for a 5th spot as long as it is a real competition and not a "We signed a vet, we gotta start him!" If he isn't good, cut him or send him down. Just because he'll be a former big league name doesn't mean we have to cram him in there.

I've got a Marlins joke: "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "David Samson" "Oh, sorry, David, I couldn't see you in the peephole, cause of your lack of height."

Can't wait for Dee to win the Bronze Bunt award... ...That comes after Golden Glove and Silver Slugger, right?

No on Lincecum. Being in the Bay Area now, sports radio was always swinging between "Timmy is back!" and "Timmy is through!" the last few years. We need a consistent guy, not a reclamation project.

Loria will hire him, just to fire him once Arnsberg opens his mouth to accept.

Now the Dee comes with a Glove!

Cosart really gambling on his future there.

Didn't Gabe Kapler manage Horshack and Vinny Barbarino in that classroom pretty well?

He just got a job running a Guttenberg Press.

I completely forgot about that! Playing the Giants in the NLDS always leads to exciting results.

Is he reporting this from now or when the park opened in 2012?