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Funniest Movie Line Ever


Fallen Apple

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What is the funniest movie line ever?

 

So far I have theese two :

 

"this man needs a hospital!"

"what is it?"

"its a big building with wards and concrete, but thats not important right now"

 

- airplane

 

"Get ready to meet you makers!"

 

"Makers of what, POOP?!"

 

Benchwarmers

 

kitty(dissapears up through the ground and pulls juggernaut so his upperbody is sticking out)

 

juggernaut: do you know who i am ?

 

(kitty runs away)

 

juggernaut: i'm the juggernaut bitch!!!!!!!!

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How about just about any line from Fred Williard in Best of Show ?

 

 

''Excuse me if this off the subject a little bit, but just take a guess at how much I can bench press. Come on, what do you think? Take a guess. 315 pounds, maxing out at 400! ''

 

 

"Now tell me, which one of these dogs would you want to have as your wide receiver on your football team?

"

 

"Tell me, do you know the difference between a rectal thermometer and a tongue depressor?

Nurse: Uh, no.

Buck Laughlin: Remind me never to come to you for a physical! "

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From Woody Allen's Sleeper:

Would you like to perform sex?

I don't think I'm up to a performance, but I'll rehearse with you.

 

 

Did you know Jesus was a Jew

 

yeah of course

 

Clerks two

 

What are steroids?

 

Somethin that makes your thingy smaller

 

oh, there must be steroids in macaroni!

 

~Benchwarmers~

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Douglas "Swish" Reemer: Your bed is over here.

[indicates a dog bed]

Kenny "Squeak" Scolari: Dude, that is so f***in' weak! How am I supposed to get a chick in that?

Joseph R. Cooper: Oh, don't worry, dude. You couldn't get a chick if you had a hundred dollar bill hanging out of your zipper.

Kenny "Squeak" Scolari: Yeah I could.

Douglas "Swish" Reemer: No. Dude, you're a little bitch!

Kenny "Squeak" Scolari: I am not! I don't even know why I hang out with you guys, anyway.

Joseph R. Cooper: 'Cause you're a piece of sh*t.

Kenny "Squeak" Scolari: I am not a piece of sh*t!

Douglas "Swish" Reemer: Yeah, but you're a little bitch.

Kenny "Squeak" Scolari: Goddammit! I swear if you guys rip on me 13 or 14 more times... I'm outta here!

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Anything from Harry Doyle in Major League

 

"The postgame show is brought to you by....*shuffles around papers and empty liquor bottles*...ah who the hell cares, nobody is watching anyways"

 

"The totals for the Indians... no runs on one hit. That's all we got, one god damn hit?" "You can't say that on the air!" "Don't worry, no one's listening anyways."

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Anything from Harry Doyle in Major League

 

"The postgame show is brought to you by....*shuffles around papers and empty liquor bottles*...ah who the hell cares, nobody is watching anyways"

 

"The totals for the Indians... no runs on one hit. That's all we got, one god damn hit?" "You can't say that on the air!" "Don't worry, no one's listening anyways."

"Monty, anything to add?"

"Uh...no."

"He's not the best colorman in the league for nothing, folks!"

 

And right now I can't think of one Anchorman quote to narrow it down to, but I'm gonna try.

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Anything from Harry Doyle in Major League

 

"The postgame show is brought to you by....*shuffles around papers and empty liquor bottles*...ah who the hell cares, nobody is watching anyways"

 

"The totals for the Indians... no runs on one hit. That's all we got, one god damn hit?" "You can't say that on the air!" "Don't worry, no one's listening anyways."

"Monty, anything to add?"

"Uh...no."

"He's not the best colorman in the league for nothing, folks!"

 

And right now I can't think of one Anchorman quote to narrow it down to, but I'm gonna try.

Major League 2 was classic too...

 

Harry Doyle: Hello, Tribe fans, welcome to Major League Baseball... sort of. The attendance today is 14 hundred and 12. Most of them left after that 10 run inning the Red Sox put up. Take over Monty, I'm in the bag.

Monte: Fly ball... Caught!

 

Harry Doyle: So a tough loss for the Indians as Pedro Cerrano doubles off a pigeon and is tagged out while administering CPR before the tying run could score. Funny game ain't it Monty?

Monte: Well at least the bird survived.

Harry Doyle: Who cares? It's a rat with wings.

 

my personal favorite:

Harry Doyle: Rick Vaughn gets the starting call today. We hear he matured a lot over the winter, apparently he's bathing now. Congratulations, Rick. As you know, Monte, Vaughn is working on a couple of new pitches. The Eliminator and the Humilator to complement his fastball, the Terminator.

Monte: I heard that.

Harry Doyle: Dynamite drop-in Monte. That broadcast school has really paid off.

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Anything from Harry Doyle in Major League

 

"The postgame show is brought to you by....*shuffles around papers and empty liquor bottles*...ah who the hell cares, nobody is watching anyways"

 

"The totals for the Indians... no runs on one hit. That's all we got, one god damn hit?" "You can't say that on the air!" "Don't worry, no one's listening anyways."

"Monty, anything to add?"

"Uh...no."

"He's not the best colorman in the league for nothing, folks!"

 

And right now I can't think of one Anchorman quote to narrow it down to, but I'm gonna try.

Major League 2 was classic too...

 

Harry Doyle: Hello, Tribe fans, welcome to Major League Baseball... sort of. The attendance today is 14 hundred and 12. Most of them left after that 10 run inning the Red Sox put up. Take over Monty, I'm in the bag.

Monte: Fly ball... Caught!

 

Harry Doyle: So a tough loss for the Indians as Pedro Cerrano doubles off a pigeon and is tagged out while administering CPR before the tying run could score. Funny game ain't it Monty?

Monte: Well at least the bird survived.

Harry Doyle: Who cares? It's a rat with wings.

 

my personal favorite:

Harry Doyle: Rick Vaughn gets the starting call today. We hear he matured a lot over the winter, apparently he's bathing now. Congratulations, Rick. As you know, Monte, Vaughn is working on a couple of new pitches. The Eliminator and the Humilator to complement his fastball, the Terminator.

Monte: I heard that.

Harry Doyle: Dynamite drop-in Monte. That broadcast school has really paid off.

"My God! Good news fans, the Indians are showing signs of life for the first time in weeks. As a matter of fact they appear to be beating the crap out of each other. It looks like Willie Hayes is trying to hit Rick Vaughn, and why not, everyone else in the league is. Hayes swings and misses. I don't know Monte it looks like Vaughn is carrying his left a little low. This could hurt him in the later rounds."

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How about just about any line from Fred Williard in Best of Show ?

 

 

''Excuse me if this off the subject a little bit, but just take a guess at how much I can bench press. Come on, what do you think? Take a guess. 315 pounds, maxing out at 400! ''

 

 

"Now tell me, which one of these dogs would you want to have as your wide receiver on your football team?

"

 

"Tell me, do you know the difference between a rectal thermometer and a tongue depressor?

Nurse: Uh, no.

Buck Laughlin: Remind me never to come to you for a physical! "

 

 

Honestly that is probably the most underrated performance in a comedy ever.

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