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The Amazing Death Predictor

Featured Replies

"Ashley: At age 69 a large monkey will beat you to death, using the antiquated art of fisticuffs."

 

That's just great.

 

How will you die? Click here to find out.

]Dan: At age 37 you will be hunted by a strange apparition resembling Andy Griffith, and subsequently commit suicide after the stress proves to be too much.

 

cool....

Matt: At age 43 you will realize that you actually died three years earlier, and have been dreaming all the events since then.

Ryan: At age 42 a truly fanatic fan of your spoken word works will stalk you and torture you for a period of weeks. After refusing to sign any more autographs, the fan will kill you.

 

Sweet... I'm gonna have a fantatic fan!

Matt: At age 41 you finally kick the heroine habit! Congratulations. Unfortunately you stopped because you died from an overdose.

At age 69 too many imitation cheese based snack foods leads to a dietary condition which causes your life to end.

 

 

Thanks for visiting! Help keep us online, just a quick donation of even a dollar or two helps us out immensely!

 

There are three small ways you can help us cover the bandwidth generated by the death predictor:

 

* Sign up for a Free Trial at Netflix using the following link or

* Donate a dollar or two by clicking on the "donate" button below or

* Use one of the links to purchase one of Mary Roach's fascinating books about corpses and souls (Stiff or Spook), Christopher Moore's hilarious book about Death's new apprentice (A Dirty Job), or another featured item!

 

Are they for real? I can conjure up some random BS and ask for money, too.

Jeff : At age 46 you will die in a fiery golf-cart crash, alcohol will be involved.

 

Rachel, thankyou for your service to the northern postion of the United States. :patriot :flagcanada

Brad: At age 64 you will drown in a wading pool under mysterious circumstances. The only clue will be a small blue pacifier found around your neck.

Jeff : At age 46 you will die in a fiery golf-cart crash, alcohol will be involved.

 

Rachel, thankyou for your service to the northern postion of the United States. :patriot :flagcanada

I got the same thing but I die at 55.

  • Author

Matt: At age 41 you finally kick the heroine habit! Congratulations. Unfortunately you stopped because you died from an overdose.

:lol ! That one's funny.

Yankeefan21: At age 91 you will fall from the fifth floor window of a hotel while under the influence of Robitussin DM.

Damn Robitussin! It's the tussin that makes it so tasty.

Matt: At age 41 you finally kick the heroine habit! Congratulations. Unfortunately you stopped because you died from an overdose.

 

Was going to make a Jeff Allison joke, but felt that may be a little tasteless :|

Mario: At age 55 you will die from wounds delivered by a blender after trying to make your sixteenth magarita of the day. (And it's on 3:00pm, shame on you!)

Rob: At age 28 a truly fanatic fan of your spoken word works will stalk you and torture you for a period of weeks. After refusing to sign any more autographs, the fan will kill you.

I only have 7 years to live. :thumbdown

"Kenneth: At age 65 you will be gunned down in the street by hippies after enacting a bill that grants the WTO even more power. "

Fabian: At age 52 you will die while partaking in a particularly intense meditation session.

Isabell: At age 67 while playing Street Fighter Omega at an arcade, you will be electrocuted by the headset. You will be the first such death in years.

 

interesting...

At age 60 a group of friends will urge you to test the "Don't Wizz on the Electric Fence" myth, and you discover that it can kill.

Brian: At age 69 you will be trampled by a mob of rabid people at the opening of X-Men 17.

Jeff: At age 40 you will be attacked by a pack of escaped lap dogs in your neighborhood and never be seen again.

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