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The Florida Marlins: Almost As Bad As The Yankees


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http://mlb.sbnation....ew-york-yankees

Really good article, but of course with the requisite attendance dig.

The Florida Marlins: Almost As Bad As The Yankees

 

By Grant Brisbee - Editor

 

Apr 15, 2011 - Debatable Assertion: A no-hitter and a World Series clincher are the two most exciting single games a baseball fan can watch. Watching a division- or a pennant-winning game is up there, for sure, but watching a no-hitter has a special kind of single-game closure that’s only shared with a World Series victory. Your mileage may vary.

 

This comes up now because the Florida Marlins almost did it again. Josh Johnson took a no-hitter into the eighth inning on Wednesday night. He was four outs away from adding to the Marlins’ legacy of being the second-most annoying franchise that has ever existed.

 

Yes, the Marlins are almost as annoying as the Yankees. There’s science behind this. Let me explain...

 

There are eight MLB teams that have never won a championship. Those teams have combined to play about 46,000 regular season games, but not once did their year end with a champagne-fueled clubhouse jubilee. That’s not even including the teams that haven’t won a championship for decades (or in one famous case, for over a century). Yet the Marlins, in just 17 seasons of existence, have somehow figured out how to win two. They have never won a division, mind you, but they’ve won two World Series.

 

If Johnson had completed the no-hitter, he would have been the fifth Marlins pitcher to do so. Neither the Mets nor Padres have thrown a single no-hitter in over 14,000 combined games. So if World Series victories and no-hitters are the two most exciting games a fan can watch, have the Marlins had the most exciting history, per game?

 

To test this, we need to assign values to these exciting games. Let’s say that no-hitters are worth 25 excitement! points and World Series victories are worth 100 excitement! points. These figures are, of course, based on the seminal studies of Dr. Ferroroorro of the Cooperstown Institute at Odessa. Here’s how the 30 franchises stack up:

 

 

 

The Marlins are an annoying franchise worthy of your jealousy, envy, and spite. They’ve packed more history into 17-plus seasons than some franchises have managed in decades. Want to root for a team with a rich and successful history? Root for the Yankees. You didn’t need a spreadsheet to tell you that. Want to root for a team with a rich and successful history without being an obvious frontrunner? The Florida Marlins are your team. And, hey, look at the great seats available! You chose wisely.

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http://mlb.sbnation....ew-york-yankees

Really good article, but of course with the requisite attendance dig.

The Florida Marlins: Almost As Bad As The Yankees

 

By Grant Brisbee - Editor

 

Apr 15, 2011 - Debatable Assertion: A no-hitter and a World Series clincher are the two most exciting single games a baseball fan can watch. Watching a division- or a pennant-winning game is up there, for sure, but watching a no-hitter has a special kind of single-game closure that’s only shared with a World Series victory. Your mileage may vary.

 

This comes up now because the Florida Marlins almost did it again. Josh Johnson took a no-hitter into the eighth inning on Wednesday night. He was four outs away from adding to the Marlins’ legacy of being the second-most annoying franchise that has ever existed.

 

Yes, the Marlins are almost as annoying as the Yankees. There’s science behind this. Let me explain...

 

There are eight MLB teams that have never won a championship. Those teams have combined to play about 46,000 regular season games, but not once did their year end with a champagne-fueled clubhouse jubilee. That’s not even including the teams that haven’t won a championship for decades (or in one famous case, for over a century). Yet the Marlins, in just 17 seasons of existence, have somehow figured out how to win two. They have never won a division, mind you, but they’ve won two World Series.

 

If Johnson had completed the no-hitter, he would have been the fifth Marlins pitcher to do so. Neither the Mets nor Padres have thrown a single no-hitter in over 14,000 combined games. So if World Series victories and no-hitters are the two most exciting games a fan can watch, have the Marlins had the most exciting history, per game?

 

To test this, we need to assign values to these exciting games. Let’s say that no-hitters are worth 25 excitement! points and World Series victories are worth 100 excitement! points. These figures are, of course, based on the seminal studies of Dr. Ferroroorro of the Cooperstown Institute at Odessa. Here’s how the 30 franchises stack up:

 

 

 

The Marlins are an annoying franchise worthy of your jealousy, envy, and spite. They’ve packed more history into 17-plus seasons than some franchises have managed in decades. Want to root for a team with a rich and successful history? Root for the Yankees. You didn’t need a spreadsheet to tell you that. Want to root for a team with a rich and successful history without being an obvious frontrunner? The Florida Marlins are your team. And, hey, look at the great seats available! You chose wisely.

 

 

 

Hehehe what an awesome and witty story.

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I actually think it's pretty dumb.

 

He's basically choosing two criteria out of many and deeming them exciting and overlooking countless others. Division wins aren't exciting? Give me a break. What about cycles, landmark achievements (3000 hits, 500 HR, etc.), and perfect games?

 

And of course his "weighting" system is completely arbitrary.

 

It's just another blogger with too much time on his hands.

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I actually think it's pretty dumb.

 

He's basically choosing two criteria out of many and deeming them exciting and overlooking countless others. Division wins aren't exciting? Give me a break. What about cycles, landmark achievements (3000 hits, 500 HR, etc.), and perfect games?

 

And of course his "weighting" system is completely arbitrary.

 

It's just another blogger with too much time on his hands.

 

 

You missed the joke, good sir.

Notice the line about how he derived the "Excitement! point" "based on the seminal studies of Dr. Ferroroorro of the Cooperstown Institute at Odessa."

Dr. Ferrorooro? Not a real person. And the link is a dead link. And there's no such thing as the Cooperstown Institute at Odessa.

The guy was just having some fun.

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I actually think it's pretty dumb.

 

He's basically choosing two criteria out of many and deeming them exciting and overlooking countless others. Division wins aren't exciting? Give me a break. What about cycles, landmark achievements (3000 hits, 500 HR, etc.), and perfect games?

 

And of course his "weighting" system is completely arbitrary.

 

It's just another blogger with too much time on his hands.

 

 

Actually, a better response is:

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It was clear to me in the beginning that he was being light-hearted and casual about it, but it seems like he was still trying to make a point (and he actually ran those numbers--I didn't check any of them, but they seem right). I wouldn't say that it's a joke. He was clearly having fun, but he's nevertheless reaching a conclusion.

 

I'm sure many people have contemplating similar things as well. I know that when Johnson was carrying that into the 8th inning, I came to the realization that 5 no-hitters seemed like a lot for a franchise less than 20 years old, so it wouldn't surprise me that someone would try to play it up somehow.

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:lol

 

Then I guess he failed at satire. With all that effort, I'd say that's even worse.

 

I think everyone understands what he did. Pretty obvious....

 

I was on the same boat as el penguino. I thought it was really stupid... I didn't think it was a joke lol. [\b]

 

Yeah I thought it was pretty obvious.

 

-(minus) excitement! Points for you sir!

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:lol

 

Then I guess he failed at satire. With all that effort, I'd say that's even worse.

 

I think everyone understands what he did. Pretty obvious....

 

I was on the same boat as el penguino. I thought it was really stupid... I didn't think it was a joke lol.

Me 3.

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I actually think it's pretty dumb.

 

He's basically choosing two criteria out of many and deeming them exciting and overlooking countless others. Division wins aren't exciting? Give me a break. What about cycles, landmark achievements (3000 hits, 500 HR, etc.), and perfect games?

 

And of course his "weighting" system is completely arbitrary.

 

It's just another blogger with too much time on his hands.

 

 

You missed the joke, good sir.

Notice the line about how he derived the "Excitement! point" "based on the seminal studies of Dr. Ferroroorro of the Cooperstown Institute at Odessa."

Dr. Ferrorooro? Not a real person. And the link is a dead link. And there's no such thing as the Cooperstown Institute at Odessa.

The guy was just having some fun.

 

Especially when the link that it leads to says this in the url:

 

http://or%20maybe%20i%20just%20pulled%20them%20out%20of%20my%20butt.com/ :lol

 

 

 

I'm sure many people have contemplating similar things as well. I know that when Johnson was carrying that into the 8th inning, I came to the realization that 5 no-hitters seemed like a lot for a franchise less than 20 years old, so it wouldn't surprise me that someone would try to play it up somehow.

 

 

I know I definitely have! We're like the mini-Yankees in our short history.. sorta...kinda...not really lol.

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