July 16, 200421 yr Stewie: This calls for a sexy party! Meg: Im gonna go wait in my room until I die! Stewie: Be there in a few minutes. Doctor: Sir, that growth is your penis. Peter: Oh..what about.. Doctor: Your testicles. Peter: ooh Peter: Hi, Im looking for Pottytraining books Clerk: Ok. We got the standard Everybody Poops , and also we have Nobody Poops but You. Peter: Well, you see, we're catholic, so.. Clerk: OOh, then you'll want Your a Naughty Child and Thats Concentrated Evil Coming Out the Back of You ahh good times, good times.. :lol
July 16, 200421 yr Author Oooh I got another one Peter: Maybe you dont have to go pee Stewie. Hey, I got an idea! I'll give you some beer, it'll go right through you. Stewie: Oh sure, and while we're at it lets light up a dubee (SP) and watch PORN! Peter: Y..Yeah?
July 16, 200421 yr Stewie (watching a baseball game): Why does that man drop his club before he runs? I would bring it with me.
July 16, 200421 yr Stewie: Yes, but no sprinkles. For every sprinkle i find, i shall KILL you. ps: check it out http://www.familyguyquotes.com/
July 16, 200421 yr Brian: You want some ice cream? Stewie: No. Brian: You want some McDonalds? Stewie: No. Brian: You want to take a dump in Mother Maggie's shoes? Stewie: Yeah. Brian: Okay, let's go and take a dump in Mother Maggie's shoes.
July 16, 200421 yr Quagmire: Hey there Gorgeous, how old are you? Connie: 16. Quagmire: 18? Connie: Mom! Quagmire: I Like where this is goin'! [Quagmire sees a cheerleader tied up in a bathroom stall] Quagmire: Dear diary: Jackpot. And the best: Peter: If you could be stranded on a desert island with any woman in the world, who would it be? Quagmire: Taylor Hanson. Joe Swanson: Taylor Hanson is a guy. Quagmire: [Laughs] You guys are yankin' me. "Hey, let's put one over on Quagmire." Peter: No, he's actually a guy, Quagmire. Quagmire: What? That's insane. That's impossible. [Pause] Quagmire: Oh god. Oh my god. I've got all these magazines. Oh god.
July 16, 200421 yr And the best: Peter: If you could be stranded on a desert island with any woman in the world, who would it be? Quagmire: Taylor Hanson. Joe Swanson: Taylor Hanson is a guy. Quagmire: [Laughs] You guys are yankin' me. "Hey, let's put one over on Quagmire." Peter: No, he's actually a guy, Quagmire. Quagmire: What? That's insane. That's impossible. [Pause] Quagmire: Oh god. Oh my god. I've got all these magazines. Oh god. 460301[/snapback] Gold.
July 16, 200421 yr Meg: Mayor West, my future is in your hands! Mayor West: Are you Sarah Connor? Mayor West: Well, you can't interview a dead man! (jumps out window) Lois: Peter, this car has a steering wheel made out of cardboard. And where the engine should be, there's just a drawing of an engine! Salesman: Yes, but it had only one previous owner....JAMES..BOND!! Peter: We'll take it! Peter: Hey, What's His Name? Al Gore: Dick Armey Peter: Phhhhh, ha ha ha ha. No Seriously What Is It? Al Gore: Dick Armey Peter: Phhhhh, ha ha ha ha. Hey Dick, What's Your Wife's Name? Vagina Coastguard?
July 17, 200421 yr Peter: No no Lois, it's time I joined the ranks of great men with beards. Why do you think Jesus Christ was so popular? Cause ... cause of all the magic tricks? FAMILY GUY RUELZZZZZ!!!!!!!!
July 17, 200421 yr Peter: The best thing to do to is to leave it alone and pretend its not there(refereing to lump on breast) Lois: Like we do the squid? and the squid hits something Peter:Car goin by. Lois:Earthquake.
July 17, 200421 yr Chris: I am not old enough yet to know that your a whore! Chris: I am fat dad. Peter: No, no your not fat. Your husky. You come from a long line of hucky griffins like your great-great grandfather Griffin. GGF: *Cue make fun of Jabba the Hutt* :lol
July 17, 200421 yr Lois: Good, I don't have to cook Peter: No go ahead and cook anyway Lois and we'll throw it out, I don't want you getting rusty.
July 17, 200421 yr Author Chris: I am fat dad. Peter: No, no your not fat. Your husky. You come from a long line of hucky griffins like your great-great grandfather Griffin. GGF: *Cue make fun of Jabba the Hutt* :lol 461459[/snapback] GGF: Maakaa roopa laapaa raka waka nipple pinchy :lol
July 17, 200421 yr Lois: You're drunk again. Peter: No, I'm just exhausted 'cause I've been up all night drinking.
July 17, 200421 yr Chris: I am fat dad. Peter: No, no your not fat. Your husky. You come from a long line of hucky griffins like your great-great grandfather Griffin. GGF: *Cue make fun of Jabba the Hutt* :lol 461459[/snapback] GGF: Maakaa roopa laapaa raka waka nipple pinchy :lol 461641[/snapback] lol. There we go. :lol Quagmire: Oh yeah!
July 17, 200421 yr Quagmire walks into Lois and Peter naked but first sees Lois.... "Ugh...ooo....errr...... anybody got a towel?"
July 17, 200421 yr Quagmire sees a young blonde woman in a amusment parl Quagmire: Well hello there, you must be this buealtiful to ride the Quagmire. Oh riight
July 17, 200421 yr Tom Tucker: Now here's Ollie Williams with our Blackie weather forecast... Ollie Ollie: ITS GON RAIN Tom: Thanks Ollie
July 18, 200421 yr Stewie Griffin:Damn you, vile woman, you've impeded my work since the day I escaped your wretched womb.
July 18, 200421 yr Author *Goes to Flashback* (In church) Peter farts silently and shouts "UH OH!" *Current time* (Alot of people near him) Peter: "UH OH!"
July 18, 200421 yr My favorite scene is with Kool Aid Man. Judge : "Mr. Griffin, I think your words have touched us all. I?m sentencing you to twenty-four months in prison!" [hits the gavel] Lois : "Oh no!" Brain : "Oh no!" Chris : "Oh no!" Meg : "Oh no!" Kool Aid Man : [crashing through the side of the courthouse] "Oh yeah!"
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