Everything posted by MarlinGuru
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Lowell Gives Me Hemorrhoids
Is Lowell All Figured Out? While watching a gory loss against the Seattle Mariners, I couldn't help taking two quarts of Metamucil and several containers of grass every time I thought about Mike Lowell. Lowell, a .277 career hitter, is wading through a .217 average with a flacid pair of homeruns and 20 RBIs. This so-called "slump" has been ongoing since the latter part last years season, in which he still managed to boast a career-high .293 average, and belted a modest 27 HR while driving in 85. His apperance at the plate has been consistently inconsistent. Bad breaking balls are chased, hanging pitches are taken or fouled off, and he has a fetish for ending innings with weak pop-ups that make evengrampa look like Hank Aaron. Lowells performance will greatly affect the performance of the Florida Marlins in the tight race for the NL East crown. Only time will tell whether Lowell will turn things around with an offensive onslaught, or whether he'll do the unthinkable: Pull a Pat Burrell. Can Lowells "slump" be the beginning of a horrible season?
- What does it take?...
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Fire Bill Robinson
Can anyone get combined batting statistics of Lowells 2004 second half until now?
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Fire Bill Robinson
This team right now needs a face lift. We need some new faces to freshen us up. An arrogant fetus like Bill Robinson is PARTLY why this team isn't hitting. He needs to get fired sooner than later, and I don't care how many letters I have to send to Beinfest. P.S. Did anyone see that watermelon/beachball hanging slider that their reliever threw at Lowell. All he did was pop it out of play.
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Marlins Shuffle Bullpen
Although Bump is no more than a AAA starter, and Perisho is a washed up "reliever" that doesn't stay in shape, Bentz and De Los Santos aren't are solution. We need to start shopping around for a lefty, and a decent righty.
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De Los Santos. Bentz called up???
haven't seen it in print yet - but I think it happened. Don't know who was sent down. Since 2 lefties were called up, I assume one would be Perisho and the other would be either Smith or Bump. 798734[/snapback] :o
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PEACE OUT PPL SEE U INA MONTH
Asian breastmilk is rather sour among the younger dams.
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Betcris Secures Funding
This is a hoax.
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What can we do...
lIke, OmGG! MiGgY is like SOO hot, & I wuNNa haf hiS baby! You can fire Bill Robinson. But if that doesn't work, fire Bill Robinson. In the worst case, fire Bill Robinson, but in the end, you can fire Bill Robinson, fire Bill Robinson, or fire Bill Robinson. If all else fails, fire Bill Robinson.
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Indians Fire Hitting Coach Eddie Murray
He needs to get the boot, but I would puke if Murray came on this team. 796251[/snapback] is puking a positive response or a negative response? 796255[/snapback] I don't recall puking being positive. :mischief
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Mike Lowell
It wouldn't be smart to take steroids if I were Lowell. If I had testicular cancer, and gotten one testicle removed, then I wouldn't like the testicular atrophy that most steroids produce or the many other side effects that we probably don't know of. Nevertheless, the fact that Lowell took steroids and now is off them, is a possibility. We'll just have to see how the season unfolds.
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Indians Fire Hitting Coach Eddie Murray
He needs to get the boot, but I would puke if Murray came on this team.
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Danny Graves?
They both need to be sent down. They have been completely horrendous. However, anyone you bring up will be just as bad or even worse. I say we sign Danny Graves, pick-up somebody decent/solid by the All-Star, and hope Alf and the Spoon will be ready for the final push.
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forget lineups, what can we do about the pen?
The good news about this game: 1) Mecir looked badass out there. 2) We're still tied for 1st place. The bad news: 1) The division is 2 games apart.
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forget lineups, what can we do about the pen?
Somebody hang Nate Bumb now! He had the ball in his f*cking hand. Grampa could've made that throw. So could've Bill Gates and maybe even Steven Hawking from his wheelchair, or even a fetus. I'll be at the pub if you need me.
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Fire Bill Robinson
***BUMPED**** because the this is just a time bomb waiting to tick at the right moment.
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6/3 FLA @ WSH 7:05pm RFK Stadium
They better win this b*tch.
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Fire Bill Robinson
Yeah but statistics sometimes don't show: 1)When hitters are slumping with RISP. 2)When we can't move up runners. 3)When we can't string hits togethers to score enough runs. 4)When we are getting outs when we needed a key clutch hit. I stand by my idea. He needs to get fired.
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Post your encounters with our favorite people...
I have had several disgusting encounters: "I have been a Marlins fan for more than 20 years already." "The Marlins are stupid because they don't get Randy Johnson." "When is Cabrera gonna pitch?" "Paul LoDuca is an awesome outfielder." During the '03 playoff run I almost puke hearing all those morons and their "baseball knowledge".
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6/2 FLA @ PIT 7:05pm PNC Park
They better win this b*tch.
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Fire Bill Robinson
Lowell is barely batting .200 with disgusting 2 HR. His hit today was a lucky blooper. It seems like he's been slumping since the latter part of last season. Pierre is batting .260, 'nuff said Paul LoDuca was 0 for 24 coming into today's game. You can bash me all you want, but I think it's about time he gets the boot.
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Burnett's Fastball
I wonder as a closer how far would it reach. Imagine one of those Billy Wagner fastballs followed by one of his badass knuckle curves. I wouldn't mind seeing him in a closing role in the latter part of his career.
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May Is Gone!
Out with the old, in with the new. It's a new month for: 1) Lowell to step it up. 2) For Mota to get into that closing role. 3) To start winning some games. Lets bring all those mofos in Atlanta down! :notworthy :marlins
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Did you hear the joke about a Marlins stadium?
This is what I've been saying all along. There's no way in hell that the stadium will cost under 500 million dollars. Good piece.
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Wayne hath cracked
As much as I want the Marlins to stay in South Florida, it would best for them to have their own stadium. A site at the Orange Bowl is more convenient for Miami fans than "middle-of-nowhere" tri-county area. Hey if you really can't get the money for the stadium then accept these deal.